Survivor: Chapter 3

[randomweaving]

Title: Survivor
Characters: JD/Perry, JD/Jordan, Jordan/Perry, JD/Perry/Jordan
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Description: A terrible accident requires JD use all his skill to save the mentor he idolizes. But times of crisis can bring people together in unusual ways...

Warnings: Eventual OT3. Het content.



JD led them to the surgery ward, where he inquired with the night nurse as to which room Cox was in, and in what condition. She checked, then returned, telling them he was in room C. However, when they began to walk back toward the observation windows, she stopped them.

"I'm afraid the attending has asked there be no observation for this procedure," she told them, looking regretful.

JD sighed, understanding, if reluctantly. Enough people would've heard, by now, that it was Cox in there, and the last thing Dr. Miller would want was a bunch of people gawking. Truth be told, JD didn't want it either. But that didn't stop him from wanting to watch, himself.

"What?" Jordan snapped, obviously less willing to accept the answer.

The nurse shrugged. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but she..."

"Don't you 'ma'am' me, you little--"

"Jordan," JD cut her off gently. "It's okay." When she stared at him, looking incredulous, he drew her aside and said quietly, "You know Dr. Cox is a legend around here. The moment word gets out that he survived a plane crash and is in surgery...he'd become a spectacle."

She blinked, then slumped, looking weary, but nodded. "Yeah, you're right," she murmured. "But can you...can we at least find out how he's doing?"

"We can," JD replied, squeezing her hand surreptitiously, before turning back to the nurse, using all his charm, until she left again, to find out about Perry's condition.

Jordan sighed, slumping slightly. "God, I wish this was over. I hate the waiting, not being able to do anything...At least you already helped him. You did something."

"You got me there," he reminded her. "God, Jordan, if it hadn't been for you...I wouldn’t have known, wouldn’t have been there. You helped him more, by being strong enough to keep it together, and get him help."

Jordan sighed, crossing her arms. "You're right. Dammit. But waiting...at least before you were working, had something to do."

"Yeah," JD agreed. "I did. You're right, too. Neither of us like feeling helpless, huh? Especially when it involves someone we care about..." He shook his head, pulling himself up when the nurse appeared again.

"He's stable," she said. "They're still working on his resection. They've got an orthopedist on the way to work on his knee, and his hand."

"His hand?" JD frowned, straightening. "What's wrong with his hand?"

"He fractured a bone--one of the metacarpals in his left hand. They're going to need to place some pins, they think."

"How much longer?" JD asked with a sigh, thinking if they had to rebuild his knee and his hand it might be awhile yet. He just wanted to see Cox, reassure himself his mentor would be all right. And he knew it had to be worse for Jordan, who hadn't seen him at all yet.

"The orthopedic surgeon is on his way, but he won't get here for about an hour or so," she said. "Dr. Turk said it would be another hour and a half or so before they finished the resection, then the orthopedist is going to take care of the knee and hand, so probably not until morning, I think."

Jordan frowned at JD. "Why would they work on his knee in the middle of the night?" she murmured.

"To keep from having to put him under the general anesthetic more than they have to, while he's still unconscious," JD replied with a sigh, trying to hide just how disappointed he was that they still had hours to wait. "It's potentially dangerous; it could send him into a coma, if they put him under too many times."

"Dammit..." Jordan clenched her jaw, biting back whatever else she'd been planning to say.

JD didn't blame her. Fuck...he should sleep, they both should, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to manage it. And he had more practice at grabbing what sleep he could than Jordan did, though being a mother probably gave her a good grounding in it ...You're babbling, Dorian. "I want to be kept updated," he told the nurse firmly. "I'll be here all night, page me if anything changes."

She nodded, writing a note on a scrap of paper. "I will," she said. "And I'll tell the nurse on day shift, if he's still in surgery, that you're to be notified when he's out."

JD nodded at her. "Thank you," he said, then turned, placing a gentle hand at the small of Jordan's back and guiding her out of the room. "Come on," he murmured. "We can't do anything for him right now."

Jordan didn't argue, though JD wasn't sure if that wasn't worse than if she'd blown up again. He led her back to the on call room, tugging her down onto a secluded back bunk. "We should try to get some sleep, at least. He's going to need us awake, when he comes out of this..."

She looked up at him, blinking rapidly. "He will, won't he?" she whispered, and for the first time that night she really seemed uncertain. "He'll be okay?"

JD didn't reply right away, sliding in next to her and pulling her close against him, almost smiling when she rested her head on his chest, still a bit awed by her sudden trust in him. "Yeah," he whispered, knowing she needed to hear it. They both did. They had to hold onto hope, if they wanted to have any chance at making it through this. "It'll take time, and therapy, for him to recover fully, but...He’ll still be him. He will." Saying it, JD was surprised to realize he almost believed the words.

She nodded against his chest, one arm winding around his waist. "It's just...he's so...strong, I guess," she whispered. "It's hard to believe anything could bring him down like this..."

"It took a fucking plane," JD pointed out, stroking her hair softly. "He's gonna be so pissed..."

Jordan suddenly began to giggle. "He is, isn't he?" she said, wiping at her tears.

JD nodded. "He is," he confirmed. "Probably demand a refund from the airline..."

Jordan began to laugh in earnest, wrapping both arms around JD and hiding her face in his shoulder. He grinned, rocking her a little. "It's going to be okay," he told her again. Unspoken were the words they both understood without needing to give them voice:

It could've been much, much worse.

Eventually, somehow, they did both fall asleep, wrapped around each other. Despite his fears that he would, JD didn't dream, his sleep too deep, too exhausted to give the nightmares any hold.

* * *

The sound of his pager going off finally pulled JD awake, and he fumbled for a few moments at his waistband, before waking fully, finding Jordan still half on top of him, snoring softly. He shivered as the memories of the day before came crashing in on him. Oh God. I slept with Jordan. Again. While Dr. Cox was in surgery...I’m so dead.

But the continuing sound of his pager pulled him from his pending panic attack. Finally freeing it from his scrub pants, he pulled it up, and gave a slightly relieved sigh, before shaking Jordan gently, pushing back his own worries as far as he could.

"Jordan? Jordan, wake up..."

She moaned, burrowing into his shoulder.

"Jordan, he’s out of surgery."

That woke her up.

She sat up, blinking. "Wh--he is? Where is he?"

JD sat up, drawing her with him, and rooted under the bed for their shoes, wondering how many people had seen them sleeping together. "Probably in radiology so they can take the slides," he said. "Turk's said to meet him in the ICU; he's going to tell us how it went while we wait for him to get down there."

She groaned. "More waiting?" she muttered.

JD shrugged. "You are at a hospital," he reminded her, forcing himself to forget what they’d done. She certainly had been through enough, without him freaking out. Again. "We have whole rooms for it."

She sighed, tugging on her shoes and rolling her eyes at him. "Did he say how he was doing?"

JD shook his head. "No," he replied, showing her the page and its short message.

She blinked, frowning as she read it, then looked up at JD. "He...he would've said, if it was something bad, wouldn't he?"

"I...I don't know," JD admitted, deciding he'd better be honest. "I think so, but I don't know for sure. Let's go find out." He pulled his second shoe on and stood up, absently running a hand through his hair as he headed for the door, realizing he was praying unconsciously. Well...why not? He might not always be certain he believed in God, but this was definitely a time to have the big guy on his side...

He barely fought down the urge to run. Not that he would've needed to have worried about Jordan keeping up, she was making him stretch his legs as it was. But the walk to the ICU seemed to take forever, and each step gave rise to a new cascading set of worries, fears, uncertainties.

Turk was waiting, when they stepped in the door, leaning against the counter at the Nurse's Station looking exhausted. JD stopped trying to slow himself and sprinted the last few steps, eyes wide. "Turk?"

Turk looked up and saw them approaching, and gave them a sober smile. "Hey, man," he said, moving forward and pulling JD into a brief hug.

"Hey, CB." JD hugged him back, somehow keeping his mouth shut until Turk released him. Not that he needed to have bothered.

"How is he?" Jordan asked, fear and the hope completely audible in her voice.

Turk gave her a thumbs up. "Stable," he said. "I just got the page from Radiology, and he's on his way up. We're putting him in bed seven." Seven was one of the private ICU beds, with walls and windows instead of just curtains.

JD nodded, looking toward the double doors anxiously before forcing his attention back to Turk. "Everything go okay?"

The surgeon nodded. "Yeah. Lot to do, but he remained stable throughout the procedure. We had to give him two units, but he did fine with them, and we were able to get all the bleeding stopped before he got too anemic. The only thing we're still worried about is that bump on his head--there's a possibility he's got a bit of a concussion--but other than that, everything else should heal fine. In time, of course."

JD let himself relax slightly, looking at the doors again. Jordan had her full attention focused on them, and if her will had had anything to do with it, Perry would've been flying through them.

Smiling slightly, JD hugged Turk again. "Thank you. God, Turk, thank you so much...Have you got a ride home, man? You look awful..."

"Carla's coming to pick me up," he confirmed. "She's going to come up here to check on him first, then I'm home free for two days. And don't worry about it, man," he added, squeezing JD's shoulder and giving him a smile.

"He's here," Jordan suddenly said, and darted from their sides over toward the bed that was being wheeled into the ICU.

JD hesitated, but only until Turk gave him a little push. And then he was right behind her, swallowing hard as Cox came into view, so still, so pale. It'd been strange enough, treating him the night before, but now seeing him as he'd seen so many other patients...He wished it was a dream, that Cox was about to come in through the doors behind him, whistle and launch into a rant...

But even with his imagination, JD's dreams were never this real. He followed the orderlies and Jordan into the small room, hanging back in the corner as Cox was transferred over to the bed, as they got him settled, only stirring when he felt Turk's hand on his arm. "You okay, man?"

JD shrugged. "Not really. It’s...fucking weird, you know?"

Turk sighed, glancing at the bed. "He's doing really well," his friend murmured. "Dr. Miller was impressed he remained stable throughout the surgery--she'd expected him to be a little more troublesome. Might've been going off how he acts in real life..."

JD laughed softly, watching Jordan stroke Cox’s cheek lightly, pushing down the mess of feelings in his chest. "Maybe she was. Can’t think he’ll be a decent patient when he wakes up..."

Turk snorted. "I don’t envy you being in charge of him, dude, I really don’t."

JD nodded, but before he could reply, there was a gasp from the doorway. They turned to see Carla staring at Cox, eyes wide, hand over her mouth.

JD sighed as she moved forward, only half listening as Turk explained the situation to her. He couldn't really blame her for her reaction--it had pretty much been his, finding his mentor on the field, or it would have been if he hadn't just been so grateful to find him alive at all. Cox, along with being pale, had a plaster cast from halfway up his thigh down to his ankle; his left hand was in a strange looking splint, and right arm in a sling as well, which was secured with a brace around his back to keep him from moving it. They had him on a 100% non rebreather mask-- "Just until he wakes up," Turk was telling Carla--so his face was half hidden. What was visible was bruised, the lines around his eyes cutting deeper, making him look older than he was. The abdominal incision--not to mention the wound from the shrapnel that had caused the damage in the first place--was hidden by his gown, but JD had heard about it, and he knew it would be a painful injury, and would take a long time to heal.

They had him on a catheter as well, but hadn't started any IV nutrition. "We're hoping he might wake up today," Turk was telling Carla. "The cut on his head took eight stitches, but it wasn't bad otherwise; still, we want to check him for concussion, or any personality alteration because of it."

JD closed his eyes, feeling a little faint, listening to Carla's shocked and worried reactions. Despite his reassurances to Jordan, JD knew they couldn't really relax yet. Knew it better than most people would've, and it made him wish for a moment that he could be ignorant, just hear the doctors say things would be okay and believe them.

He sighed, taking the chart from the end of the bed and moving out of the room, leaving Carla and Jordan at the bedside as he reviewed the notes from the surgery. Apart from the fractured metacarpals and the shrapnel, neither of which JD'd known about, Cox'd also ruptured his spleen, presumably upon impact; they'd removed it after they'd completed the resection. JD shuddered as he read, knowing that given the extent of Cox's injuries, time had truly been of the essence. The older doctor would have bled to death, had he spent even an extra hour out on the field.

"Almost lost you, Big Dog," he whispered, feeling his eyes stinging; he blinked rapidly, fighting the urge to let his emotions win out. They would, eventually, if he didn't get some real sleep, but...right now, he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to leave, even for a moment. He would, before it got too dangerous for him to keep treating Dr. Cox, but...as long as he could be there, he would be.

Taking a long breath and giving himself a moment to calm down, he set himself, opening the chart once more, before going in to check Cox's vitals. They weren't out of the woods yet, by any means, but...he found himself cautiously optimistic. And knew where he'd be spending all his free time, today at least. He wondered how much use he'd be to his other patients, knowing his mind would be in this room, the whole time. But...he'd just have to manage.

"I'm officially on in about five minutes," he told Jordan, as Turk and Carla left. The nurse would be back as soon as she'd dropped Turk off at home, but there was no denying he was too tired to be driving himself. "And he's my first priority, promise. You've got my pager number, right?"

"Yeah," she replied softly, stroking Cox's bare arm--one of the only exposed patches of skin available. "Thanks, DJ. I'll let you know if anything changes."

JD nodded, swallowing a little, wishing he had the luxury of being able to stay at Cox's side, hold his hand, kiss his forehead...he shook himself. No sense pining after things that weren't his, and never could be anyway. He gave Jordan a small smile. "See you soon," he said.

She nodded, giving him a tight smile, before returning her attention to Cox. JD sighed, checking him over one more time, before heading out to start his day.

Still, his mind stayed mostly with his mentor, and he couldn't pass by room seven without at least looking in, seeing if Jordan needed anything, if Cox's status had changed. It was strange, going through his routine without Cox hanging over his shoulder, whistling at him, calling him a girl's name. Every time he saw a lab coat, for a split second he half expected it to be Dr. Cox, and each time it wasn't only served as a mental and emotional punch in the gut when he remembered why it wasn't.

All in all, it was one of the longest shifts he'd ever worked, even though it was only eight hours. By the end of it, he knew he'd have to get some sleep--he was exhausted, dead on his feet. He hadn't slept in over a day, he realized, apart from the catnap he'd shared with Jordan.

Jordan. God, what was he supposed to tell Dr. Cox? Were they going to tell him? He wasn't sure if he couldn't. The older man had forgiven him, last time, but could he this time? Still, he knew he couldn't keep it a secret...if Cox found out on his own, later, it would only be a thousand times worse. And besides, maybe he'd understand they'd only done it because they were worried about him, stressed, needing release...

He barely bit back a bitter laugh at that one. Yeah, right. Dr. Cox might believe that was why Jordan had slept with him. But his mentor wouldn't for one instant believe JD's own grief could be such that it would drive him into the arms of his ex-wife. Cox didn't know exactly how deep JD's feelings for him went, and JD wasn't about to tell him, but he knew that would mean his motives would look less than pristine. In fact, he'd look like scum: the sort of guy who'd seduce a grieving widow for his own pleasure.

And he'd learned from watching Cox with Petey that the older man didn't quickly forgive that sort of guy.

"I'm so screwed," he muttered to himself, making a final notation on a chart before setting it down, pinching the bridge of his nose. He shook his head, sighing, deciding that if Cox hated him, at least it would mean he'd be alive to do it. And that was worth everything.

He stopped by Cox's room on his way out, knowing he didn't want to go home, but that he'd be useless if he didn't get some real sleep. "Hey, Jordan," he said softly, smiling apologetically when she started slightly. "Sorry. My shift's over and I've got to get some sleep, if I'm going to be any good for him later..."

Jordan nodded, stretching herself out. "Okay, DJ. Thanks for letting me know."

"I'll be back in a few hours," JD offered, stretching and hearing his back pop loudly. "Elliot's covering here, and he's stable..." He wanted to stay, to have an excuse to say more, but he couldn't think of anything. Except... "Can I bring anything back for you?" he heard himself asking. After being with Danni and babysitting for Jack, he knew his way around Cox's apartment better than perhaps he should've.

Jordan half-smiled, and dug keys out of her purse. "Here. If you're not sure what a girl needs in her overnight bag, ask your roommate. But I think you can manage, right?"

"I'll try," JD replied, taking the keys and nodding at her. "Let me know if..."

Jordan nodded, her expression once again one he couldn't read. "I'll make sure you do."

He nodded, turning away and heading out to the parking lot.

* * *

Next Chapter

* * *

Comments

[allherglory.livejournal.com]

Eeee, I can't wait to see where this will go.

Everything you write reels me in, I tell you. XD

[purplesyringes.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking and touching. Can't wait for more!

[sheamackenzie.livejournal.com]

Whumpage, dammit, whumpage! Meep. Aw, I want to huggle them both.

You guys ROCK. (Has 3rd grader vocab, go me.)

[romyra]

Great chapter. I've been looking out for an update and was pleasantly surprised to find this on my flist. I can't wait for Dr. Cox to wake up

[ria-oaks.livejournal.com]

Another great chapter! I'm loving this fic; can't wait to see where it goes. :)

[nomornings.livejournal.com]

this is gold. thank you

[dragenphly.livejournal.com]

I love this story. I absolutely adore it. I've always been a fan of Jordan, and I think you capture her really well, her hard edge and then the softness that must be beneath that. I also do like JD and Jordan, even though it'll never be my first love. But I absolutely adore threesomes, especially well-written ones, because I love things outside the box. The only thing I hope is that Jordan and JD have their own angle to the threesome, I mean, they both have Perry as a connection but something for them alone. I can't wait to read more of this...truly magnificent writing!