Amnesia: Chapter 3
15 December 2006 22:57![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
randomweavingFic: Amnesia
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Rating: NC-17 (seriously--VERY explicit)
Summary: JD awakens from an accident to find his memory is gone. Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
2dozenowies hurt/comfort challenge community.
Warnings: This chapter is explicit, folks. Seriously explicit. Language and very very very vividly described male/male sex. Please read at your own risk!!
Chapter 3/4
They returned to the apartment after that. Perry hadn't been lying about it being stocked with more liquor than food; JD raised an eyebrow at the older man, who cringed. "I'll run to the grocery store in a little while," he said. "I usually eat at the hospital, but I guess you'd appreciate having some food while you're here, huh?"
"Wouldn't mind it," JD replied, grinning. Then, grin slipping a little, he said, "Perry? What... what am I going to do for a job? For money?"
Perry glanced at him. "Right now, nothing," he said, sounding surprised. "Your memory'll return in time, JD, and until then there's not much you can do, apart from doing your best to help it along."
"Okay..." JD frowned, looking around the obviously rarely used kitchen. "I'll pay you back when it does, though," he offered softly. "And I must have student loans or something to pay off. I should find out..." He didn't want to admit he wasn't remembering anything more recent than the end of high school, but it was starting to worry him, as easily as the rest had come back. What if it didn't? What would he do?
"You'll have to ask Carla about the loans," Perry said, tossing his keys onto the table. "But as for paying me back, don't even think about it. You're not costing me much, Newbie, and you've got bigger things to worry about."
"I won't argue with that," JD murmured softly, before shaking himself a little. "So where's my room? I should get unpacked, maybe take a nap..." He was tired, but mostly just wanted some time to lie down and not have to think. He found himself wondering if Perry had cable. Probably.
"Second door to your right down the hall," Perry replied, digging through the cabinets, taking stock of what food he did have. "First door's the bathroom, one on the end is the master bedroom. TV and stereo in the den." He glanced up at JD long enough to give him a smile. "Make yourself at home," he said.
"Thanks." JD offered him a smile and headed to the room. Big bed, a dresser, nothing else. He opened the closet, to find a few boxes in it, but also a collection of hangers. And his duffle bag was on the bed. "Home sweet home," he murmured to himself, opening the duffle and pulling things out. The clothes went into the dresser, though he hung a couple of the shirts up, and tossed the extra pair of shoes in the bottom of the closet. Clothes done, he emptied the rest of the bag, finding a laptop, a photo album, and a thick book.
He sank down onto the bed, opening the photo album, gut twisting a little. Perry'd been right about the hair product, at least...his hair was spiked up in every picture. And he was with Turk, with Elliot, with Carla...goofing off at the beach, at what looked like a barbeque, in an apartment he didn't recognize. Though the dog must be Rowdy...
I look like I'm having fun with them. He bit his lip, wishing he could remember any of these events, remember a single moment with these people who'd obviously meant so much to him. He finally set the album aside, picking up the book instead.
It proved to be a journal. His journal, he recognized the writing immediately. He set it aside, not reading further than Dr. Cox was really riding my ass today in one entry, a funny feeling in his throat. He jumped a mile when Perry suddenly knocked and stuck his head in. "What?"
"Sorry to startle you," Perry said. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going to go ahead and get to the store. Anything in particular you want?"
"I, uh--no, thanks," JD said, running a hand through his hair and smiling what he prayed was a genuine smile. "Whatever you get I'll be good with."
Perry frowned at him. "You okay, JD?"
"I...yeah. Carla sent this along," JD lifted the photo album, "and it's just...weird. Believe you about the hair now, though." He hoped that'd be enough. He didn't want to read the journal, not when it'd have things in it that might as well have been written by a stranger.
Perry nodded. "Yeah, that's rough," he agreed. "But don't worry. You'll get there. And I"--he held up his keys--"will be back shortly."
"Okay," JD agreed, giving him another, more sincere, attempt at a smile. "See you."
* * *
Eventually, JD did take a nap, just to avoid the uncertainty the journal and the photo album had raised in him. He wanted to escape for a while, and didn't want to try and figure out how to make Perry's TV work. One look at the huge remote had sent him back to his room. He kicked off his shoes and curled up on top the blankets, a throw pulled around him, and he'd eventually fallen asleep, helped in part by the painkiller he'd taken for his still sore ribs.
But his sleep was far from restful. He dreamed, dreamed of the people in those pictures, dreamed he was watching them all, including himself, not knowing what was going on. It was a game, of some kind, one he instinctually knew he had to win, and no one would tell him the rules. He kept trying things, throwing a ball, answering questions, other bits over and over, but they just kept losing more and more points.
And then Turk was there, looking painfully disappointed. "You're doing this on purpose, dude, aren't you? Admit it."
"Turk, I don't know what you're talking about, just tell me how..."
"You already know, man. You just don't care..."
When JD finally forced himself awake, his heart was pounding and he could feel tears on his cheeks. He unwound himself from the throw that had tangled all around him and sat up, running a hand through his hair, grimacing at the cold sweat he could feel all over his body. Shaking himself and rubbing his arms, he gaze fell on the journal again. Maybe it'd help...
Before he'd fully decided he was going to read it, he had the thing in his hands, flipping it open near the middle.
September 3, 2001.
Since I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything. Storms, sirens, you name it. Last night I didn't sleep. I guess I get a little goofy when I'm nervous. You see, today isn't just any other day. It's my first day.
JD raised his eyebrows a little, but kept reading about his first week at the hospital, how worried he was Turk wasn't going to move into the same apartment with him, and how Dr. Cox was kind of a hard to get to know, but was an incredible doctor. And that Elliot was fine, even if she was too competitive. He found himself smiling a little, at his own writing. It was an entertaining style, at least, even if he didn't remember anything being described.
He flipped further back, finding entries about med school, putting in applications for internships, finals, getting the one at Sacred Heart, hangovers... Not many girls, though. And again, it was a good read, but didn't make anything flash in his head.
He'd almost given up on it, when he flipped to toward the end.
I don't think Dr. Cox knows what he means to the hospital. I'm sure he doesn't know what he means to me. I keep trying to tell him, at least the mentor part, but he likes to act like he doesn't care. Everyone thinks I'm naive for thinking he does. But he must. When he showed up and pulled me out drinking...Fuck, I wish I'd talked to him more. Followed up when he said he wasn't okay. He's not just a jerk, he's not the asshole he paints himself as, I know it. I just have to figure out how to get him to let me in...
But I probably never will. I'll be Sheila or Ginger or Carol until the day I die, to him. It's too bad. He has to be lonely...I know he told me not to try to save him, and it's not that I want to, exactly. I just wish I could tell him thank you, for everything he's done for me, tell him I like him, and not have him shut down because of it and insult me. Not because it hurts--though who am I kidding, sometimes it does, a lot--but because I think it'd be good for him, too. To just believe someone would stick around...
Oh well. Only thing I can do is stick around, no matter how much he tries to drive me away. I don't think he really wants to, anyway.
JD reread the entry several times, chewing on his bottom lip. All right, so maybe Perry had acted like an asshole to him in the past. He was still glad he was here, still glad he'd asked if he could stay. "And he's letting me in now, if only a little bit," he murmured, almost smiling. "Guess I found the way...Just forget him first, huh?"
Just then, he heard a key in the lock and tossed the journal aside, going to help with the groceries, his heart somehow lighter than it'd been before.
* * *
The next two weeks passed in a bit of a blur for JD. After the first few days off, Perry had to return to work; JD spent most of his time hanging out in the older doctor's apartment, watching his collection of DVDs (one good thing about amnesia, he decided, was that he'd not yet run across a movie he'd already seen, having forgotten even the ones from when he was a kid) and listening to music, and reading some of his other journals. Carla had brought them by the day after he'd arrived at Perry's place, obviously hoping to jar his memory a little faster; he'd thanked her, tentatively, and she'd given him a hug.
"I'm sorry, Bambi, I'm not trying to make you feel bad," she said softly. "I'm just trying to look out for you and for Turk, and it's hard, you know?"
JD had nodded, deciding it wouldn't be terribly productive to say if Turk wanted to stop being an ass and come visit him, it would go a long way toward smoothing things over.
Instead, he'd just said thanks again, and Carla had smiled at him sadly, then left.
When he wasn't hanging out, he was usually taking walks--always careful to check his surroundings so he wouldn't get lost, of course. He'd unearthed his cell phone in the duffel bag Carla'd packed, and Perry had made sure he had both the older man's pager and cell number before agreeing to JD's suggestions about exploring the town.
Despite its unfamiliarity, though, JD found his feet most often knew where to take him--as long as he didn't think about it too hard--so he'd not yet had to call the older man off work to come pick him up. Thank heavens.
But despite this small victory, his memory had shown no other signs of improvement.
"We could take you back in for another CT scan, I suppose," Perry'd suggested one evening when JD had complained to him. "But I'm not sure what good it would do. Your scans have all come back normal, and Carmichael says it's just going to take time."
JD was definitely getting sick of that phrase. But he nodded, knowing there was no sense in taking out his frustrations on Perry.
Not those frustrations, anyway. Because, once he'd learned that Perry was, in fact, single, he'd had a whole new set of them to start sorting out. He might not have known much about himself, sure, but he was a young, healthy male, and he'd formed an almost instant attachment to Perry. Adding that to the fact that he'd clearly been a little obsessed with him (half his journal entries from the time he'd started his internship on had been concerning the older man), well... JD's crush had grown to a full-blown attraction, and he was still getting subtle clues that it might be returned. Like the way he'd caught Perry staring, when he'd wandered in for breakfast without a t-shirt on. Or the way the older man would subtly go out of his way to touch JD--a brush of fingers while passing the salt, a casual bump on the arm when walking around him in the kitchen. Even letting their calves touch as they sprawled on Perry's couch watching a movie or a TV show.
Yes, JD was more than willing to hope his feelings were returned. And as the days passed, he began to develop a plan to try to bring them to fruition.
So of course, that was the day Turk came by to make amends.
JD very nearly groaned, when the knock came; he and Perry had been, as had become their after-dinner custom, sprawled on the couch (JD had managed to arrange the throw pillows that day so there'd be less cushion space than usual; this time, Perry's whole thigh had been pressed up against JD's and so far neither of them had made a move to correct that). Perry, for his part, looked irritated.
"Be right back," he told JD, standing up to answer. JD flipped the TV channels idly, waiting for the older man to return, pausing when he heard the unmistakable sound of a sitcom opening. This should distract me...
Perry, schooling the irritated scowl from his face, opened the door-- then raised his eyebrows when he realized who was on the other side. "You here to actually start acting like the friend you claim to be, Gandhi?" he said. "Or you just here to try to guilt him into not having amnesia anymore? Because I'll tell you right now, if it's the latter, you can turn your hippity-hopping ass right on around and scram."
Turk glared at him. "At least I'm being honest about this," he said. "I'm not trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not. Dude, maybe he'd start remembering things if you'd start acting like a Cox he'd recognize."
Perry didn't know what to say to that, so he simply glowered. "State your business," he snapped.
"I'd like to talk to JD, if it's not too much to ask," the surgeon replied, meeting Perry's glare. "Or are you busy trying to convince him you're the long-lost Grand Duchess Anastasia?"
Perry snarled, but stepped backwards and pulled the door open. "He's in the den," he said.
Turk stepped past him and saw JD sitting on Perry's couch, laughing at something on the TV. He could also see, sitting on the coffee table, two glasses of--Jesus, was that wine? "What are you, trying to seduce him or something?" Turk hissed, spinning around to stare incredulously at the older doctor. "You are a sick man--this is low even for you."
"It's just wine, Gandhi," Perry growled, though he didn't quite meet Turk's eyes, staring instead at the coffee table where the offending wine sat. "Look, I'm... I'm going to take a walk," he said. "You can go talk to him"--
"Thanks for your permission."
--"but if I come back and hear you've upset him, you can bet I'll be shoving my foot up that self-righteous ass of yours and doing a little redecorating."
Turk rolled his eyes as Perry snatched his keys and headed out the door, giving him one last glare. Then, closing the door, he walked hesitantly over toward the den.
"Who was that, Perry?" JD asked without looking up from the TV (which was playing, Turk noted with a pang, an old rerun of Sanford and Son).
"It's... it's me, dude," he said quietly.
JD looked up, expression carefully guarded. "Oh. Hey, Turk." He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. "What's up?"
"JD, I... I just came by to... well, to apologize," Turk said, clearly uncomfortable. "I know I haven't been there for you since...well, the past few weeks, and I've been really selfish about this whole thing, and I--I'm sorry."
"It has to have been really weird for you," JD offered, shifting around to face him a little more, though he didn't look up, just played with the hem of his t-shirt, pulling a loose thread and gradually unraveling it as he spoke. "I...Carla brought my journals over, and I've been reading them. Sounds like we have a lot of fun. I really do wish I could remember you..."
Turk nodded, shifting a little awkwardly. "Okay if I sit down?" When JD nodded, sliding over on the couch, Turk moved forward and sat next to him. For a moment there was a silence, then Turk said, "It's just strange, you know? It's like I... I miss you so much, even though you're right there." He winced. "I'm sorry, that's probably not helping, is it?"
JD half-smiled. "Not really, no. But I know you're not trying to make things harder. Ten years is...it's a huge amount of time, man. This totally sucks for both of us." He sighed, leaning his head back. "I'd much rather remember you than Dan...My brother's kind of a jerk-off, isn't he?" He was silent for a couple moments, trying to think of what to say. "So, is Carla still mad at me?"
Turk sighed. "She's not as mad at you as she is at Dr. Cox," he admitted softly.
"Because he's being nice instead of a jerk?"
Turk laughed. "Actually... yeah, strange as that sounds. She feels like he's lying to you, and she can't figure out why."
JD shrugged. "Me either. He's not lying...I mean, I don't remember a lot, but I can still tell when someone's trying to pull one over on me. And from what I've read...he used to be a jerk to me most of the time. But he's not, now. Maybe he does just feel sorry for me or something, but either way, it's nice to not have to worry about...about still missing a third of my life. And I don't have to think about it, when I'm around him." He smiled a little. "And I know I liked him before, even when he was always a jerk." He suddenly thought of a question he truly wanted to ask Turk, but...not when they were talking about Perry.
Turk sighed again. "Yeah, about that... dude, I'm sorry I've been putting all this pressure on you to... to feel things you might not feel now. It... it's stupid to miss you when you're right here, and if I'd been acting like a friend instead of a selfish jerk, we'd probably be friends again already. So..." he extended a hand, looking hesitant but hopeful. "JD? I'm Chris Turk. Nice to meet you. Again."
"Chris, huh?" JD grinned, reaching out and shaking his hand. "Okay. Nice to meet you again, too. And I don't think you've been a jerk, really, this just sucks for everyone. So you're forgiven, fresh start, all that. Uh...fresher than most people get to, even," he added, giggling slightly. "So...why have we got a stuffed dead dog?"
"We found him at a garage sale," Turk said with a shrug, a grin splitting his face. JD felt himself grow instantly more comfortable. "I guess we thought he'd make a good addition to the dorm room. We're kinda weird," he added.
"I hear that," JD replied, shaking his head a little. "And here I'd kind of hoped I was cool...But I'm pretty much an enormous dork, aren't I?"
Turk grinned. "Every inch of it," he confirmed. "And we love you for it."
"Good to know," JD replied, grinning back. Now this...this was okay. Was better than okay, he could tell he would like Turk being himself, probably a lot. He smiled, stretching a little, making a face when it pulled at his ribs. "Ow. So...can I ask you a few things? I think you know me better than anyone..."
"Yeah, man, anything," Turk replied.
JD hesitated for a long moment. "Okay. I know I use hair stuff, and I'm kind of girly, and...dude, am I gay?"
Turk gave him an odd look. "Dude... that's not exactly something I can tell you, is it? I mean, last I knew, that was kind of an individual choice kinda thing."
JD blushed. "Okay, so I guess I wasn't. I've just been wondering...figured you'd know."
"Dude, again: It's not really up to me. You're not out, if that's what you're asking." He frowned, eyeing JD sideways. "But I'm betting since you brought it up you've got some kinda reason to suspect maybe you are. Am I right?"
JD shrugged. "Been noticing guys, and from what a few people said about me...Thought maybe I was. Would explain why every relationship I wrote about in the past three years has been a complete and utter disaster..."
Turk raised his eyebrows. "Dude... that's kinda freaky!" he said. "I mean, more power to ya and all, but how weird would it be, that the only way you realized you were gay was by forgetting everything else?"
JD laughed. "It'd be one hell of a coming out story, at least. I think...I think I might be. Or at least bi...That's cool, right?" he asked shyly, looking up hesitantly. "With you, I mean?"
"Long as it's not me you've been noticing, that's cool," Turk said. "Though I'd be interested in knowing who it is, seeing as how you've pretty much only been with one person since you woke up and I sure as hell hope it's not him." The words were light, but when JD didn't answer right away, Turk's eyes went wide. "Dude--tell me you're not falling for Dr. Cox."
"I...no, that'd be really dumb, right? But he does have a nice ass." JD offered a smile. "And it's not you. Even if Carla wouldn't scratch my eyes out, I just don't get that feeling from you. Brother, maybe, but not..." He blushed.
"You're falling for Dr. Cox!" Turk backed up, eyes wide. "You are!"
JD's bush deepened. "Shut up! I'm not going to do anything about it, I know that'd be incredibly stupid..."
"Oh my GOD." Turk lowered his head to his hands, shaking it slowly. "This is so messed up it's not even funny."
"It's a little funny," JD replied, sighing and looking away. Great. Get Turk talking to him just in time to freak him out... "Turk, dude...It's probably not real, I know that. It's...gratefulness or something, for him taking care of me. I just...wondered why I was getting a crush on a guy if I was supposed to be straight, that's all." But it wasn't just that, and he knew it. And he knew it was probably dumb to be trying for it, before his memory came back...but he honestly wasn't sure it ever would.
"Dude, that's not the problem," Turk said, sitting up and looking at JD seriously. "The problem is he's doing this on purpose. He's pretending to be this sweet, caring guy, he's letting you move in, he's serving you fucking wine--of course you're getting a crush on him. He probably planned it that way. And if I thought he was on the level I'd be all for it, but JD... he's using you, don't you see it?" Turk bit his lip, looking distressed. "I just can't figure out why. Maybe he really does want to get you in bed, or maybe he just wants a good laugh, or maybe it's a power trip--who the hell knows? But I don't want to see you get hurt, man. I don't trust him."
"The wine was my idea," JD admitted, blushing a little. "I brought it out after we ate. And...I asked him if I could stay here, he didn't think I'd want to if I was myself. I don't think he's being all Machiavelli about it, he's just...being decent. Which, I'll grant you, is apparently really weird, but...I don't know, Turk. Didn't I like him before, when the rest of you told me not to waste my time? I just don't think he's being dishonest with me, I really don't."
Turk studied him for a moment, then sighed, shaking his head. "Yeah, you did like him," he admitted softly. "And... honest to God truth be known, I... I think he cares about you too, in his own weird way. I just... I can't honestly think this"--he waved his hand at Perry's apartment--"is the genuine article, you know? I'm just worried about you."
"That means a lot, man," JD offered softly. "It really does. I don't know what I did, to get friends like you and Carla, and Elliot...but I think I'm a pretty lucky guy. I just hope I can remember, soon," he added bitterly, picking up his wine glass and drinking the last bit in it.
Turk nodded. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "Me too."
* * *
Perry stared up at the apartment from the parking lot, wondering just how much longer he should give JD and Turk before he went back up there. It was his apartment, after all, but... well, he couldn't deny he'd been sort of keeping JD to himself, and it was only fair he let the kid's best friend try to patch things up with him.
Still. He sighed, scuffing the sidewalk with his shoe and scowling. He could only imagine what was being said up there. He knew Carla and Turk (and Barbie, for that matter), along with half the staff at the hospital, were convinced that he had some sinister plot involving JD, and he had no doubt JD was now hearing one of the many hypotheses: he was being nice to make JD feel like an idiot, when his memory came back. He was playing him for a fool. He was trying to keep his memory from resurfacing by deliberately confusing him.
He was trying to seduce him.
He groaned, shaking his head. That last one was the only one that came anywhere near the truth, though Perry wasn't actually trying to do anything. In fact, of the two of them, JD had been the one making advances: asking to stay with him, asking him if he was single, suggesting they have a glass of wine after dinner. Perry couldn't deny he hadn't staved any of those advances off, however, so in a way, he was just as guilty as they made him out to be: he was letting himself be seduced.
He snorted, scuffing the ground again. Not like it would go anywhere--he'd certainly not let it, not until JD had his memory back, and then... well, then the kid would remember what a jackass he was, and he'd be mildly disgusted he'd ever been actively pursuing him in the first place. Things would go back to normal pretty quickly, and Perry would be stuck without even his usual mask to hide behind.
He sighed, shoulders slumping. It was wrong of him, he knew, but... he was almost glad JD's memory was taking its time. Almost. It meant he got to keep playing this out--this "what could've been" scenario that let him know just how much he'd thrown away, when he'd decided to treat the kid like crap from day one.
He knew that was selfish of him, knew that if he had a shred of common decency he'd tell JD to move back in with Carla and Turk--assuming they didn't convince him to do that anyway, of course--but he knew he wouldn't.
So, back to square one: he was still a selfish asshole. He was just playing that from a different angle than he normally did.
He looked up when he heard the door to the apartment building open. Turk walked out, tossing his keys lightly in the air and catching them, then catching sight of Perry. He paused, and for a long moment they stood simply staring at one another. Then Turk walked over to him and folded his arms. "Don't hurt him," he said simply, face more serious than Perry had ever seen it.
"Don't plan to," Perry said back, surprised with Turk simply nodded slowly.
"Hold you to that," he retorted.
Then he spun on his heels and walked to his car (JD's car, Perry corrected himself), climbing in and driving away without a word.
Frowning, wondering what on earth had transpired in the half hour or so JD and Turk had been talking, Perry pulled out his keys and headed back up toward his apartment.
* * *
JD looked up when Perry came back in, and smiled, grateful for the distraction from his thoughts. Turk had left him with a hell of a lot of things to ponder, after all, but some of them...He'd just as soon not deal with. "Hey. Where'd you disappear to?"
Perry shrugged, looking a little awkward. "Oh, just for a walk," he said. "Thought I'd give Gandhi a chance to make up for his behavior over the last few days." He stood next to the couch, hands shoved in his pockets still. "Did he?"
JD nodded, refilling their wineglass again. "Mmhmm. He did. I think things will be okay with us, now. And I like him, now that he's not being kind of an ass." He shook his head a little, picking up his glass. "But he's worried about me. Apparently you're playing me for some reason, taking advantage of my current mental illness for some Machiavellian plot to make me look stupider than usual. I think he has an over-active imagination."
Perry sighed, slumping back down on the couch and picking up his own wine glass, swirling the deep red liquid but not drinking it. "He's not the only one who thinks it," he replied. "Hell, when your memory comes back, you'll probably think it."
"So are you playing me?" JD asked bluntly. "Is this all some elaborate plan to make me look like an idiot? Because I gotta say...there would be much easier ways to arrange that."
"No," Perry replied simply. "I'm not."
JD nodded. "I didn't think so. But apparently my instincts don't count right now..." He shook his head, taking another sip of wine. "At least Turk didn't do the guilt trip thing this time. And I suppose it's nice he's worried about me...I just wish everyone didn't seem to think I'm going to recoil in horror the second I remember you from before. I know I liked you, even if you weren't always sunshine and light and puppies, so I don't get why everyone thinks that..."
Perry frowned, looking up. "You know you liked me?" he repeated. "How? Do you remember...?"
"Still not a damned thing after high school," JD replied bitterly, staring down into his glass, before draining it. "No. Carla brought me my journals. Apparently I'm even more girly than I thought, yeah," he added, when Perry raised an eyebrow at him. "I know you yelled at me a lot. And I know I liked you anyway. Which probably doesn't say much about my self-esteem, no, but...hell. You've been more than decent to me since this started, Perry, and I don't care about the rest of it. Okay? I can't see that changing just because I'll hopefully someday remember you being an ass sometimes, instead of just reading about it..." He squinted at the wine bottle, which was almost empty. Just like the one next to it. Oops.
Perry cringed, draining his own glass of wine and setting the glass on the table with a thunk.
JD looked over at him, wishing Turk hadn't showed up. This wasn't how this was supposed to be going... "I'm sorry. I think I'm a little drunk. Should've known I'd be a lightweight..."
"Wine's strong," Perry said simply, shrugging. It was, too--he was used to hard liquor, but they'd drunk a lot, and even he had a bit of a buzz. He shook his head sharply to clear it, wondering what they were going to do now. The pleasant patter of conversation they'd been having before Turk's rather untimely interruption had been broken, and Perry wasn't sure if he should try to get it back or just suggest they both get some sleep. He settled for draining the rest of the bottle of wine into his glass and downing it in a single gulp.
JD frowned, watching him. "Guess I'm done," he said, stretching carefully and slumping down again, thigh once more pressed against Perry's. "Least I found one thing out for sure," he offered after a moment, deciding to hell with subtlety. He wasn't that drunk, but he was buzzed, and willing to do for things he might not've, if he'd been sober.
Perry swallowed, not even bothering to apologize for stealing the rest of the wine. "What's that?" he said, then cleared his throat when his voice came out a little hoarse.
"Hadn't come out, before. Suppose I should do that at some point, if I want any guy to think he has a chance..." JD looked sideways at Perry, waiting for his reaction.
Perry's senses, a little dulled by the wine, cleared sharply at that. He snapped his head up, looking at JD, then swallowed when he saw the look on JD's face: carefully blank, guarded with caution--but also a quiet hope, and was that--? Yes. Yes, it was.
Invitation.
"I... JD," he started, stammering a little as he cast about wildly for something to say. Some proper way to respond that wouldn't end up with one or both of them saying or doing something they'd probably regret in the morning. But he found his mouth flopping uselessly, and another part of him--a very insistent part of him, in fact--was nudging him slyly. Isn't this what you wanted? It whispered silkily.
It--God, yes, it was, of course it was, but... but it wasn't right.
"I mean, it'd be hard for him to know it was okay, if he thought I was straight, huh?" JD offered, wondering where the hell the confidence was coming from. But he wasn't going to knock it. Not when Perry was looking at him like that. Surprised, yeah, but hopeful, too. He was sure of it. "So I figure I should make sure he'd know I wasn't."
Perry realized his mouth was hanging open and snapped it closed, swallowing hard. "I, um..." he drew a breath, unable to look away. "I guess that would be a good thing to do." What are you doing?! Idiot--he doesn't know you!! Are you really going to take advantage of him like this?! He shut out the voice resolutely, finally lowering his eyes--though they didn't get far until they snagged on JD's mouth. How had he not noticed exactly how full JD's lower lip was?
JD noticed his gaze, and let his tongue trail across his lip slowly, hiding a grin at Perry's reaction. "Perry? I'm not straight. And I'm gonna go ahead and guess you're not completely, either, are you?"
"Um." Um? Dr. Perry Cox, world-renowned ranter, is reduced to 'Um'?! Come on, say some real words, at least. "I... no?" He wasn't quite sure he remembered the question, but he hoped he'd answered correctly. If it meant JD would keep looking at him like that...
"Thanks for letting me know. This could've ended really badly, otherwise..." JD smiled slowly, and leaned forward, not sure he was doing the right thing, but knowing he wasn't going to stop.
And he didn't. He leaned in, pressing his lips against Perry's, tongue lightly sweeping over them before he pulled away again. "You don't have to do anything about it." He sat back again, still watching Perry, eyes slightly hooded. "But I thought you should know."
"Th-thank you?" Perry really wasn't listening; he'd all but whimpered, when JD had kissed him, and the alcohol hadn't done anything to impede his body's reaction to the feel of those lips pressed against his, full and warm and damp from the wine. He swallowed again.
JD laughed softly. "You're welcome. So here's the thing, Perry. I want you. I think you're incredibly hot and I don't really care if you're a jerk in your off time. So...do you want me, too? Or should I go jack off in the shower thinking about your ass again?"
Oh sweet Jesus. Did he say again? "Um. The first one?"
"Good." JD stood up, tugging his shirt over his head and dropping it, before turning toward the hall, taking a couple steps. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Well? Are you coming?"
Probably sooner than you think. "I... yes...?" He stood, nearly swaying on his feet, wine and sheer shock making him feel a little giddy. He walked over to JD, who took his hand and led him down the hall.
JD took Perry to the room he'd been staying in, figuring it was slightly less threatening. He was surprised the older man hadn't protested yet, and figured it had a lot to do with the way JD was trying to keep him off balance. So he intended to keep him there as long as possible. Gently but firmly, he pushed Perry back on the bed and crawled up to straddle his hips, leaning down to kiss him again, longer this time, tongue playing over the other man's lips, gentling them open before he pulled away.
Perry was still too dazed to do anything but follow JD's lead. Distantly, he knew he should put a stop to this, but he was far too distracted to come up with any good reasons as to why.
JD smiled, pulling back and pressing his hips down a little, smile widening to feel Perry's arousal. "Apparently I haven't forgotten how to kiss, then..."
The reasons hit Perry then, like a punch to the gut, finally breaking through the haze of wine and lust and sheer shock. "JD, I--wait," he said, putting his hands on JD's arms, stopping him from leaning down for another kiss. "I... I'm not sure this is a good idea." He was aware how ridiculous a thing that was to say now, after letting JD drag him down the hall and climb on top of him, for fuck's sake, but he had to say it.
JD pressed his hips down again, rubbing his erection against Perry's still incredibly obvious one. "You're not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Could've fooled me. I know what I'm doing, Perry, believe me. You're not taking advantage. If anything, it's the other way around. Why do you think I opened the wine, anyway?" He didn't try to kiss Perry again, but kept his hips rolling lazily against the other man's.
"Fuck, JD..." Perry panted.
"That was the plan, yeah," JD agreed cheerfully, grinding down harder. "Though 'blow JD' or 'fuck Perry' would be acceptable, too..."
"You--wait a second!" Perry suddenly stiffened, all but throwing himself out from under JD and scrambling backward off the bed so quickly he landed with a thump on his ass on the carpet. "JD, just--just wait a second!"
Shit. JD sighed, sitting back, not so subtly adjusting himself in his jeans. "Yeah?"
"I..." Perry ran a hand through his curls, breathing heavily. "Look, I... I want this, don't... don't get me wrong, but..." he waved his hand, frustrated. "You don't really know me," he pleaded. "Hell, you can't remember anything from the last ten years. I mean, yeah, okay, maybe you liked me before, fine, but for all you know, you thought of me as a father or something, and if you do this, and then you suddenly snap out of it and you remember what you really thought..." he trailed off, looking up at JD from his rather undignified sprawl on the floor. "Do you see the problem here?"
"Dude, it wasn't as a father. You don't write down those kinds of fantasies about a father. Though I think I did call you Daddy in one of them...That was a joke," JD added, at the look on Perry's face. "Perry...As far as I can tell, I already had a crush on you. But you know what? I don't give a crap about before. I want you now, and I know I do, and if I remember something I don't like, I'm old enough to reconcile it with now. Or are you planning to start treating me like crap again if I get my memory back? Then we might have a problem, yeah, but I don't see why you'd have to."
"I..." Perry trailed off, at a loss again. In all honesty, he hadn't thought about how he'd interact with JD, if--no, when--his memory returned. Okay, so that wasn't true, he'd thought about it a LOT, but... he hadn't managed to come to any conclusions. In truth, JD without his memory had seemed almost like a different person, so treating him that way had felt... well, natural. But when he had it back? It's not like he'd just snap back to being the old JD, with no memory of all that transpired between them when his memory was gone.
Not how it works, Per, a voice inside him whispered. You don't get to keep him like this, but he's not coming back unchanged, either.
He sighed, lowering his head, wilting a little. "I don't know," he murmured. "I just..." Oh, for fuck's sake. And he called JD a girl?
"Yeah, eloquently put," JD said, just managing not to roll his eyes. "Perry, face it, I like you. And I've got your number, now. You're not an asshole, you just play one on TV. So what's it gonna hurt if I remember you putting the act on for me, too? You're not doing it anymore."
Perry closed his eyes, knowing he was defeated. "Okay," he whispered. "Okay, JD, if--if you're sure this is what you want."
"Hey..." JD slid off the bed, taking Perry's hand and squeezing it gently. "Do I look unsure? I know I'm a bit broken right now, but...I know what I want. I want you. But if this isn't what you want, I can always go jack off again." He grinned slyly. "Apparently I've had a lot of practice, I'm really good at it..."
Perry couldn't help it: he laughed. "I don't think that'll be necessary," he said, looking up at JD and lifting one eyebrow. You're an idiot, Perry, the rational voice in his brain warned, but he shoved it aside. Sure, he might regret this, come morning, but... well, right now, JD was making too much sense to be ignored.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Perry growled. Noted, he thought--then lunged forward and kissed JD. Hard.
Yes! JD kissed him back just as hard, tongue thrusting between the other man's lips, exploring even as one hand came up to the back of Perry's neck. He curled his fingers into a fist, clutching the curls there and tugging lightly as he deepened the kiss, wondering distantly why he was being so aggressive. But he didn't care, because the noise Perry made in response...Holy fuck. He needed to hear that again, and as often as possible.
Perry gave up all semblance of resistance, letting JD tug him up and back onto the bed, and moaning when the younger man resumed his position on top of him.
Perry Cox was a bottom. JD took an internal moment to savor that, before rolling his hips again, hands slipping under the hem of the other man's t-shirt. "I've been wanting to get my tongue on your chest..." He smiled wolfishly--the expression looking disturbingly natural on his usually good-natured face--and leaned down, nipping softly at Perry's lower lip, before pulling his shirt the rest of the way off.
Perry blinked at the younger man, wondering where the sweet kid he thought he knew had gone, and when he'd been replaced by this domineering stranger. In all his fantasies about JD, he had never imagined that JD would be the one taking the lead--or that he himself would be so passive about the whole ordeal. But he was finding himself speechless at nearly every turn.
JD's tongue flicking at his nipple didn't help matters, either. Or at least they didn't help him in terms of being articulate... "Gnnhuuuhgh," he groaned, head arching back, clenching his jaw and his eyes shut.
JD grinned. "You like that." He did it again, before pressing his tongue down hard, then scraping his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin. And for all he couldn't remember ever having sex before, he seemed to know what to do. He'd read his own fantasies, of course, and, well...Perry had a lot of channels. JD'd been taking full advantage of that fact. Not to mention everything on the internet. It was pretty much all porn, anyway, after all. So he had a decent idea of where he was going with things, and how to do them, even if it was mostly theoretical knowledge.
And Perry didn't seem to have any complaints thus far, either.
So JD didn't stop. Before long, he'd trailed sucking bites across and down Perry's chest and stomach, feeling the well-defined muscles jump and shiver under his mouth. He paused, when he reached the waistband of Perry's jeans, smiling at the straining bulge obvious against the denim. "Hmm..." He traced it with one finger, listening to Perry groan softly in response. "What to do next?" He glanced up, watching as he changed from a light tracing to a strong grip with his whole hand, squeezing.
"Jesus, Newbie..." Perry panted, slipping into the old nickname out of habit. "You are a fucking tease! Oh..." He flexed his thighs, pushing up against JD's torturously light grip.
JD pressed back down, almost giggling. This was...incredible. That he was causing these reactions had him feeling giddy, and he had to remind himself to focus, keep control, and keep to the plan. Not that there was much of one...he wasn't entirely sure what Perry would want, and though he knew what he himself wanted, he wasn't sure it'd be okay with the older man.
He certainly hoped so, though.
Twisting his wrist, JD tightened his grip again, before using his other hand to pop loose the top button, and pull down Perry's zipper. After that it was short work to hook his thumbs in the waistband of both jeans and boxers and pull them off together, letting Perry's thick erection spring free. "Still think I'm just teasing?" he asked, licking his lips as he curled his fingers once more around it, stroking lightly.
"If... if you are, then you're... pure evil--oh." Perry twisted slightly, hips straining up against JD's hand. God... how the hell was he falling apart like this over a hand job, for fuck's sake...?
But it was more than that, he knew it. It was the whole evening--the wine, the look in JD's eyes, on his face; his lips--God, his lips, pressed against Perry's, then wrapped around his nipple, suckling...
"Thought that was supposed to be you," JD replied, grinning slowly before leaning over, his tongue flicking out and over the head of Perry's cock, tasting and teasing as his hand stroked slowly.
Perry hissed. "Well... you are my protégé...apparently I trained you well," he managed. Holy Jesus, the kid was too good at this...
"Mmm," was JD's only response, his mouth rather busy for snarky comments. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but Perry didn't seem to have any problems with it so far, so he just kept exploring, trailing his tongue over and around and back, before letting the other man's cock slide between his lips, thick and heavy against his tongue. He swallowed around the length, fingers dropping to roll Perry's balls back and forth between them. And all the while, he kept his eyes on the other man's face, watching him.
Perry had also moved beyond coherent speech, though for an entirely different reason. His mouth hung open, eyes squeezed shut, but at a particularly deft twist of JD's tongue he released a choked cry and looked down, wanting to see--
Oh, Jesus... The sight nearly undid him--that mouth, those lips, wrapped tight around him, devouring him in wet, suckling heat... and God, JD's eyes, dark and intent and watching him from beneath thick lashes. Perry found he couldn't look away; he propped himself on his elbows to give himself better leverage, and slowly, carefully, began to rock his hips, pressing them hard into the mattress before nudging himself gently up into JD's mouth.
JD hummed his approval around his mouthful, as Perry started to move, but carefully set the rhythm himself. It came to him, as he continued, that he'd done this before, but he didn't know who'd been on the receiving end. There was no face, no identity to go with the memory, just the heavy feel of a different erection in his mouth, the musky scent...But he pushed it away, concentrating on Perry, on the here and now.
And it was an easy thing to do, watching Perry's face change, his eyes nearly close, only to be forced open again. God, he was hot like this, losing himself, giving up control... Wonder if I could tie him up sometime, give him something to pull against... But JD pushed that thought away, as well, pulling up nearly off the other man's cock before sliding back down as far as he could go, tongue pulsing all the way.
"JD... wait," Perry said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and pushing.
Jesus Christ, now what? JD pulled back, letting Perry loose from his mouth with a soft 'pop' and sat back on his heels, licking his lips again. "Hmmm?"
Perry read the exasperation in the young man's expression, and grinned. "No, not that--only that if you keep doing that this is going to be over before we really even start it. Hell, you still have your pants on." He moved until he was kneeling in front of JD, and hooked his fingers around the waistband of JD's jeans, leaning forward until their mouths were mere inches apart. "You know?" he whispered, sliding one hand down to gently squeeze along the hard bulge under the denim.
"Oh fuck..." JD's head fell forward, until he was resting his forehead against Perry's, his hips pressing forward of their own accord. "Someone...someone should help me get rid of them, then..."
Perry growled, crushing their mouths together--then, in a rather bold move that surprised even him, he gripped JD's waist and twisted him around, gently but insistently lowering him down on the bed. He then leaning over him, deftly thumbing open the button and lowering the zipper of JD's jeans with one hand, while the other slipped beneath, into the flap of his boxers, to cup and stroke softly.
JD lost his breath in a rush, touched by Perry's gentleness--his ribs were still sore enough to warrant it--and admittedly even more turned on to have the big man looming over him like that. He thought of fighting back for the upper hand, but forgot it as Perry's fingers closed around him. "God, yes..."
Perry smirked. "Like that, do you?" he murmured, stroking a little tighter.
"No, I'm just...faking so as not to...to...fuck! So as not to hurt your...your pride," JD managed to reply, around Perry's movements. His hips rolled in counterpoint and he groaned, softly.
"Well, aren't you the thoughtful one," Perry returned. "But I guess I shouldn't take advantage of your kindness any longer." He removed his hand, swiping a thumb across the tip as he released the younger man--but he didn't tease long, only letting go long enough to carefully remove JD's jeans and boxers, tossing them over the side of the bed before returning to brace himself over him.
"So," he murmured, one finger tracing over the younger man's straining erection, "what did you have in mind, exactly? Since you apparently planned this." On the word 'planned,' he let his fingers curl around the base, and gave it a light squeeze before returning to the teasing stroke of fingertips.
JD laughed softly. "Been planning it for over a week...But I didn't think I'd get this far," he admitted, hips arching up again almost absently. "I want you. In me, around me, over me, under me...Doesn't much matter how, I've daydreamed it every way."
Perry closed his eyes briefly against the images JD's words conjured. "That... that does leave us with quite a few possibilities to explore, doesn't it?" he murmured. "I'll have to consider those options. But first, I think it's only fair that I return the favor, as it were, that you were kind enough to bestow upon me..." As he spoke, he slid backwards on the bed, until he was braced right over his goal. He glanced up at JD, grinning mischievously at him before lowering his mouth and drawing his tongue slowly from the base to the tip, swirling it there and keeping his fingers wrapped around the base, holding him steady.
"Oh holy fuck..." JD breathed, his hips trying to come up off the bed, only to be stopped by Perry's firm grip. "I'm good with...with that..."
Perry hummed in response, mouth too busy to reply otherwise. He slipped the head into his mouth then out, then in again, grinning as it made JD writhe and gasp softly. "Still faking it up there?" he murmured, after this had gone on for several moments.
"Shut up and blow me," JD replied roughly, fingers fisting in Perry's hair.
Perry chuckled, but obeyed, finally drawing JD fully into his mouth. For a moment he simply let him lay against his tongue, waiting until the sudden tension in JD's thighs eased a little before sliding down further, relaxing his jaw and his throat so he could take him to the base before swallowing around him, fighting the instinct to cough. Then he drew back, swirling his tongue in a circle around the shaft before diving down again. His eyes watered a little, but he simply blinked, not caring about his own discomfort--JD's reactions were more than worth it.
"Oh God, Perry..." JD's fingers tightened in the other man's hair, his hips shuddered under the effort of not moving. He forced his eyes open to watch, and let out a noise quite close to a whimper, feeling himself twitch hard inside Perry's mouth. "Jesus..."
Perry hummed a little, which elicited such a favorable response from JD that he did it again. He wanted this to be good for JD--wanted it to be amazing. He reached up with his free hand and teased the sac that lay hot and heavy between JD's legs, feeling it draw up tight at his ministrations. He slipped a finger into his mouth, alongside JD's erection, then drew it below, teasing and stroking at the tight opening there, using his thumb to press in hard against the soft patch of skin just behind JD's balls.
"Oh fuck..." JD's voice broke and he shuddered all over, somehow managing to release Perry's hair in time to fist both his hands in the blankets, knuckles turning white with the force of his grip. Each flick of Perry's finger seemed to send further shudders through him, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. Distantly, he knew that was good, it'd relax him more, and he was certain he'd be good for more than one go... "M'close...don't stop..."
Don't plan to, Perry thought, but he didn't pause. Instead, he drew his mouth up to suck hard on the head, and, with the hand that had gripped the base of JD's cock, he began a fast, tight stroke, moving his other hand to squeeze JD's balls gently. Let go...
"Oh God...oh God, oh God, oh God..." JD's voice started as a soft chant that grew louder, until his voice choked off, his hips snapping up as all the sensations Perry'd been causing came together, forcing his climax up and out in long spurts, pulling a guttural cry along with them.
Perry kept him deep as he came, swallowing, accepting JD's release, relishing it as tangible evidence of the young man's pleasure. He moaned softly as JD bucked and shuddered, letting him move as he wished, feeling his own cock aching and throbbing sympathetically. He kept JD deep until he began to soften, falling limply back against the sheets, then released him slowly, sitting up and licking his lips.
"Holy..." JD opened his eyes, grinning softly. "Holy shit. That was...yeah. God. Um. Wow."
Perry shifted, moving until he was braced on his hands and knees over JD, cock heavy and hot between his legs. "Glad you approved," he murmured, moving to kiss him but hesitating, not certain how JD would react to being kissed after Perry had swallowed him.
But JD arched up eagerly, tongue slipping into Perry's mouth with no hesitation. He spared a moment's regret that Perry couldn't just lie on top him, but pushed it away in the warmth of the other man's mouth. "So," he murmured, when he at last pulled back again. "Wanna fuck me?"
God, you have no idea... But Perry hesitated. "Are you sure?" he murmured, knowing not only was this a rather... intimate act, to say the least, but that JD's ribs had to be sore, still. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," JD replied with soft assurance, smiling up at him. "I trust you."
Perry felt his heart melt a little, touched by both JD's words and the open, adoring look on his face. "I... yeah, okay," Perry said softly, leaning down to kiss him gently again. The he pulled back, a little at a loss. "What can we...? I mean, I don't have..."
JD grinned, leaning up for a kiss before scrambling out from under him, digging in the dresser. "I do. Told you I'd planned this." He tossed a small bottle of lube and a box of condoms on the bed. And found himself just looking at Perry, sitting there naked and hard, want in his eyes. This was real. And he hoped like hell he'd never forget it.
"Well. Aren't you the initiative-taker," Perry smirked, picking up the box of condoms. "Put this on my credit card, did you?"
"Nah," JD replied impishly, crossing back to the bed, still grinning. "Used the cash you left for me."
"Crafty, Newbie," Perry grinned back, reaching out and circling JD's wrist to tug him back up onto the bed. "And I think I have an idea..." He lay back, stretching out against the sheets, and eased JD after him, so the younger man was sitting easily astride his hips. "This should keep everyone happy without hurting you, don't you think?"
JD smiled, settling himself gratefully. He did trust Perry, but it was true this'd be safer for the both of them... "Definitely should. So are you getting me ready or are you watching me do it myself?" he asked, nodding at the lube, trying to keep from sounding at all nervous. And he wasn't. Much...
Perry grinned. "I like this watching idea," he admitted. "Are you really that flexible?"
"Usually," JD replied, brow furrowed. He didn't think it'd twist his ribs too much...and reached around behind himself to check. "Yeah, I can manage. Hmm, now how to give you the best view..."
"I like you where you are," Perry murmured, sliding his hands onto the tops of JD's thighs and stroking gently. "And I think I've changed my mind, anyway--no sense risking you hurting those ribs, right?" Then he grinned. "I wouldn't mind watching you do other things, of course..." he winked, reaching out and squirting some lube into his hand, before reaching between JD's legs and once again massaging the opening there.
"Oh?" JD raised an eyebrow, even as his head fell back and he pressed against Perry's touch. "What...what sort of things?"
"Use your imagination, Newbie," Perry replied, slipping one finger inside carefully, the pressing it in further when JD didn't protest. "Surely you didn't forget how to do that?"
JD braced his hands against Perry's chest, relaxing against the intrusion that felt...well, different than he'd expected, but definitely exciting. "Huh?" he asked, not really paying attention. "What d'you mean?"
"You," Perry informed him, slipping his finger in all the way and curling it a little, amused that he did, at least, have some practice at this, "are a world-class daydreamer. I swear every time I turn around, you're staring off into space, concocting some absurd fantasy or another."
JD would've liked to answer, something about being relieved to know he'd always done that, but it was hard to answer around the sudden muffled noise that escaped him. "Oh God...do that again?"
Perry curled his finger again, stroking, and sliding a second in as well. "In fact," he continued, "I used to use those times to my advantage. You're a pretty solid daydreamer; you don't notice what's going on around you, when you're enmeshed in one of your little scenarios. Would you like to know what I'd do, when I realized you weren't paying attention to me?" He moved his fingers carefully, stretching, paying very little attention to what he was saying but talking to distract JD, keep him relaxed.
"What?" JD asked breathlessly, with a look of pure wanton pleasure. What Perry was doing felt odd in way, good in another. It didn't hurt, and every movement of his fingers seemed to send shocks all the way through JD's body, making his cock twitch back to life.
"I'd watch you," Perry said. "That's all. Just watch. And when you'd get that dreamy look on your face, that ridiculous smile, sometimes I'd pretend you were dreaming about me."
Oh God. Did I really just say that out loud? Perry cringed, hoping that maybe JD was too distracted to have noticed...
"Hope I was," JD replied, opening his eyes and looking down at Perry for a moment, before grinding down and gasping again.
Perry snorted. "If you were, then based on your occasional exclamations, you were having some strange thoughts about me," he grinned. "You ready, kid?"
JD nodded, but grinned. "Then I don't think I want to know what they were..." He let out a long breath as Perry slipped his fingers free, smiling down at him. "You really hoped I was daydreaming about you?"
Perry blushed, fingers fumbling as he opened a condom and put it on. "I... well... yeah, I guess," he admitted. "You know. Sometimes."
JD wriggled a little. "Good. I like that. And I've definitely been daydreaming about you lately..." He raised himself up on his knees, reaching down to guide Perry into position, letting out a long breath before he sat down carefully, letting out a breathy sigh as he did so.
"Oh, Jesus..." Perry closed his eyes, the searing pleasure that enveloped him as JD took him in making it impossible to breathe for a moment. "Oh, my God...Newbie..."
"M'not God, but thanks..." JD's voice was hoarse, though, as he lowered his hips all the way, hands once again braced against Perry's chest. He experimentally tightened his muscles around Perry, then relaxed them again, smiling a little at the reaction it got him.
Perry released a harsh breath, nearly a moan, and thrust his hips, unable to stop himself. "Oh, fuck...JD, that's so... oh..."
"Good?" JD suggested, doing it again. Holy fuck, this was...incredible. Completely incredible. He lifted himself up, carefully, and then dropped back down, groaning as he did so. "Fuck...."
Perry opened his eyes, watching, breathing ragged; watched as JD raised himself again, then pressed down, meeting the rolling thrust of Perry's hips. He was hard again, Perry saw, and reached out, wrapping his fingers around JD's cock, stroking quickly. He wasn't going to last long, he knew it, and he wanted JD to come with him...
JD reached down, putting his fingers over Perry's, squeezing them lightly, and then pushed them gently aside. "Just...just watch me," he panted, hand matching Perry's thrusts and the motions of his own hips, all of it at a gradually increasing pace.
Oh dear GOD... Perry's eyes widened, watching as JD sat back, head falling back and mouth dropping open as he stroked himself, releasing soft whimpers that weren't quite moans but weren't quite sighs, all the while lifting himself up and rocking back down against Perry, tight and hot around him. Perry drew his knees up a little, planting his heels, and gripped JD's thighs, thrusting harder. "Oh, God, JD... I'm... I'm going to..."
JD clamped down tight around him, his hand moving in faster, looser strokes, his soft noises growing deeper. "Me first," he murmured, and suddenly spasmed hard around Perry's cock as he spilled over his own hand, eyes squeezed tightly shut, his whole body arched in release.
Perry followed an instant later, arching up hard and groaning as his cock spasmed again and again in its tight, hot, living sheath. His toes curled into the sheets, entire body tense, the sensations ripping through him simply too powerful to be believed. He wouldn't survive this. No one could survive this. "Oh, my God..."
JD grinned again, not quite sure how he was keeping himself upright when his bones seemed to have been removed. "Told you I'm not God...but again, thanks."
Perry made a face, halfway between amused and incredulous. "Oh, just get down here, would you please?" he panted.
"Already went down," JD replied, but carefully lowered himself, groaning when he straightened his legs. He let out a soft sigh of contentment, though, when his head rested against Perry's shoulder. "That was awesome."
"S'putting it mildly," Perry murmured, arms going up to rest lightly across JD's back.
"Mmm..." JD knew they shouldn't just fall asleep, but the thought of moving any further...Yeah, it so wasn't happening. Perry could do it, if he wanted to. "Thank you...That was way better than imagining it was...."
Thank you? Perry frowned, but stroked JD's hair. "Don't mention it," he said lightly. His frown melted away, however, when JD hummed sleepily. "G'night, Newbie," he murmured, unable to keep the smile from returning. He closed his own eyes, feeling himself beginning to drift, JD's weight warm and comfortable above him. He lowered his arms to his waist, holding him carefully but firmly, and let himself begin to drift into a deep, relaxed sleep.
JD followed, not long after, though he wanted to stay awake to savor the sensation of being held, being cared for. Still, he reasoned, as he yawned, he was sure to have good dreams now.
He was wrong.
* * *
Next Chapter
* * *
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Rating: NC-17 (seriously--VERY explicit)
Summary: JD awakens from an accident to find his memory is gone. Written for the
2dozenowies hurt/comfort challenge community.Warnings: This chapter is explicit, folks. Seriously explicit. Language and very very very vividly described male/male sex. Please read at your own risk!!
Chapter 3/4
They returned to the apartment after that. Perry hadn't been lying about it being stocked with more liquor than food; JD raised an eyebrow at the older man, who cringed. "I'll run to the grocery store in a little while," he said. "I usually eat at the hospital, but I guess you'd appreciate having some food while you're here, huh?"
"Wouldn't mind it," JD replied, grinning. Then, grin slipping a little, he said, "Perry? What... what am I going to do for a job? For money?"
Perry glanced at him. "Right now, nothing," he said, sounding surprised. "Your memory'll return in time, JD, and until then there's not much you can do, apart from doing your best to help it along."
"Okay..." JD frowned, looking around the obviously rarely used kitchen. "I'll pay you back when it does, though," he offered softly. "And I must have student loans or something to pay off. I should find out..." He didn't want to admit he wasn't remembering anything more recent than the end of high school, but it was starting to worry him, as easily as the rest had come back. What if it didn't? What would he do?
"You'll have to ask Carla about the loans," Perry said, tossing his keys onto the table. "But as for paying me back, don't even think about it. You're not costing me much, Newbie, and you've got bigger things to worry about."
"I won't argue with that," JD murmured softly, before shaking himself a little. "So where's my room? I should get unpacked, maybe take a nap..." He was tired, but mostly just wanted some time to lie down and not have to think. He found himself wondering if Perry had cable. Probably.
"Second door to your right down the hall," Perry replied, digging through the cabinets, taking stock of what food he did have. "First door's the bathroom, one on the end is the master bedroom. TV and stereo in the den." He glanced up at JD long enough to give him a smile. "Make yourself at home," he said.
"Thanks." JD offered him a smile and headed to the room. Big bed, a dresser, nothing else. He opened the closet, to find a few boxes in it, but also a collection of hangers. And his duffle bag was on the bed. "Home sweet home," he murmured to himself, opening the duffle and pulling things out. The clothes went into the dresser, though he hung a couple of the shirts up, and tossed the extra pair of shoes in the bottom of the closet. Clothes done, he emptied the rest of the bag, finding a laptop, a photo album, and a thick book.
He sank down onto the bed, opening the photo album, gut twisting a little. Perry'd been right about the hair product, at least...his hair was spiked up in every picture. And he was with Turk, with Elliot, with Carla...goofing off at the beach, at what looked like a barbeque, in an apartment he didn't recognize. Though the dog must be Rowdy...
I look like I'm having fun with them. He bit his lip, wishing he could remember any of these events, remember a single moment with these people who'd obviously meant so much to him. He finally set the album aside, picking up the book instead.
It proved to be a journal. His journal, he recognized the writing immediately. He set it aside, not reading further than Dr. Cox was really riding my ass today in one entry, a funny feeling in his throat. He jumped a mile when Perry suddenly knocked and stuck his head in. "What?"
"Sorry to startle you," Perry said. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going to go ahead and get to the store. Anything in particular you want?"
"I, uh--no, thanks," JD said, running a hand through his hair and smiling what he prayed was a genuine smile. "Whatever you get I'll be good with."
Perry frowned at him. "You okay, JD?"
"I...yeah. Carla sent this along," JD lifted the photo album, "and it's just...weird. Believe you about the hair now, though." He hoped that'd be enough. He didn't want to read the journal, not when it'd have things in it that might as well have been written by a stranger.
Perry nodded. "Yeah, that's rough," he agreed. "But don't worry. You'll get there. And I"--he held up his keys--"will be back shortly."
"Okay," JD agreed, giving him another, more sincere, attempt at a smile. "See you."
* * *
Eventually, JD did take a nap, just to avoid the uncertainty the journal and the photo album had raised in him. He wanted to escape for a while, and didn't want to try and figure out how to make Perry's TV work. One look at the huge remote had sent him back to his room. He kicked off his shoes and curled up on top the blankets, a throw pulled around him, and he'd eventually fallen asleep, helped in part by the painkiller he'd taken for his still sore ribs.
But his sleep was far from restful. He dreamed, dreamed of the people in those pictures, dreamed he was watching them all, including himself, not knowing what was going on. It was a game, of some kind, one he instinctually knew he had to win, and no one would tell him the rules. He kept trying things, throwing a ball, answering questions, other bits over and over, but they just kept losing more and more points.
And then Turk was there, looking painfully disappointed. "You're doing this on purpose, dude, aren't you? Admit it."
"Turk, I don't know what you're talking about, just tell me how..."
"You already know, man. You just don't care..."
When JD finally forced himself awake, his heart was pounding and he could feel tears on his cheeks. He unwound himself from the throw that had tangled all around him and sat up, running a hand through his hair, grimacing at the cold sweat he could feel all over his body. Shaking himself and rubbing his arms, he gaze fell on the journal again. Maybe it'd help...
Before he'd fully decided he was going to read it, he had the thing in his hands, flipping it open near the middle.
September 3, 2001.
Since I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything. Storms, sirens, you name it. Last night I didn't sleep. I guess I get a little goofy when I'm nervous. You see, today isn't just any other day. It's my first day.
JD raised his eyebrows a little, but kept reading about his first week at the hospital, how worried he was Turk wasn't going to move into the same apartment with him, and how Dr. Cox was kind of a hard to get to know, but was an incredible doctor. And that Elliot was fine, even if she was too competitive. He found himself smiling a little, at his own writing. It was an entertaining style, at least, even if he didn't remember anything being described.
He flipped further back, finding entries about med school, putting in applications for internships, finals, getting the one at Sacred Heart, hangovers... Not many girls, though. And again, it was a good read, but didn't make anything flash in his head.
He'd almost given up on it, when he flipped to toward the end.
I don't think Dr. Cox knows what he means to the hospital. I'm sure he doesn't know what he means to me. I keep trying to tell him, at least the mentor part, but he likes to act like he doesn't care. Everyone thinks I'm naive for thinking he does. But he must. When he showed up and pulled me out drinking...Fuck, I wish I'd talked to him more. Followed up when he said he wasn't okay. He's not just a jerk, he's not the asshole he paints himself as, I know it. I just have to figure out how to get him to let me in...
But I probably never will. I'll be Sheila or Ginger or Carol until the day I die, to him. It's too bad. He has to be lonely...I know he told me not to try to save him, and it's not that I want to, exactly. I just wish I could tell him thank you, for everything he's done for me, tell him I like him, and not have him shut down because of it and insult me. Not because it hurts--though who am I kidding, sometimes it does, a lot--but because I think it'd be good for him, too. To just believe someone would stick around...
Oh well. Only thing I can do is stick around, no matter how much he tries to drive me away. I don't think he really wants to, anyway.
JD reread the entry several times, chewing on his bottom lip. All right, so maybe Perry had acted like an asshole to him in the past. He was still glad he was here, still glad he'd asked if he could stay. "And he's letting me in now, if only a little bit," he murmured, almost smiling. "Guess I found the way...Just forget him first, huh?"
Just then, he heard a key in the lock and tossed the journal aside, going to help with the groceries, his heart somehow lighter than it'd been before.
* * *
The next two weeks passed in a bit of a blur for JD. After the first few days off, Perry had to return to work; JD spent most of his time hanging out in the older doctor's apartment, watching his collection of DVDs (one good thing about amnesia, he decided, was that he'd not yet run across a movie he'd already seen, having forgotten even the ones from when he was a kid) and listening to music, and reading some of his other journals. Carla had brought them by the day after he'd arrived at Perry's place, obviously hoping to jar his memory a little faster; he'd thanked her, tentatively, and she'd given him a hug.
"I'm sorry, Bambi, I'm not trying to make you feel bad," she said softly. "I'm just trying to look out for you and for Turk, and it's hard, you know?"
JD had nodded, deciding it wouldn't be terribly productive to say if Turk wanted to stop being an ass and come visit him, it would go a long way toward smoothing things over.
Instead, he'd just said thanks again, and Carla had smiled at him sadly, then left.
When he wasn't hanging out, he was usually taking walks--always careful to check his surroundings so he wouldn't get lost, of course. He'd unearthed his cell phone in the duffel bag Carla'd packed, and Perry had made sure he had both the older man's pager and cell number before agreeing to JD's suggestions about exploring the town.
Despite its unfamiliarity, though, JD found his feet most often knew where to take him--as long as he didn't think about it too hard--so he'd not yet had to call the older man off work to come pick him up. Thank heavens.
But despite this small victory, his memory had shown no other signs of improvement.
"We could take you back in for another CT scan, I suppose," Perry'd suggested one evening when JD had complained to him. "But I'm not sure what good it would do. Your scans have all come back normal, and Carmichael says it's just going to take time."
JD was definitely getting sick of that phrase. But he nodded, knowing there was no sense in taking out his frustrations on Perry.
Not those frustrations, anyway. Because, once he'd learned that Perry was, in fact, single, he'd had a whole new set of them to start sorting out. He might not have known much about himself, sure, but he was a young, healthy male, and he'd formed an almost instant attachment to Perry. Adding that to the fact that he'd clearly been a little obsessed with him (half his journal entries from the time he'd started his internship on had been concerning the older man), well... JD's crush had grown to a full-blown attraction, and he was still getting subtle clues that it might be returned. Like the way he'd caught Perry staring, when he'd wandered in for breakfast without a t-shirt on. Or the way the older man would subtly go out of his way to touch JD--a brush of fingers while passing the salt, a casual bump on the arm when walking around him in the kitchen. Even letting their calves touch as they sprawled on Perry's couch watching a movie or a TV show.
Yes, JD was more than willing to hope his feelings were returned. And as the days passed, he began to develop a plan to try to bring them to fruition.
So of course, that was the day Turk came by to make amends.
JD very nearly groaned, when the knock came; he and Perry had been, as had become their after-dinner custom, sprawled on the couch (JD had managed to arrange the throw pillows that day so there'd be less cushion space than usual; this time, Perry's whole thigh had been pressed up against JD's and so far neither of them had made a move to correct that). Perry, for his part, looked irritated.
"Be right back," he told JD, standing up to answer. JD flipped the TV channels idly, waiting for the older man to return, pausing when he heard the unmistakable sound of a sitcom opening. This should distract me...
Perry, schooling the irritated scowl from his face, opened the door-- then raised his eyebrows when he realized who was on the other side. "You here to actually start acting like the friend you claim to be, Gandhi?" he said. "Or you just here to try to guilt him into not having amnesia anymore? Because I'll tell you right now, if it's the latter, you can turn your hippity-hopping ass right on around and scram."
Turk glared at him. "At least I'm being honest about this," he said. "I'm not trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not. Dude, maybe he'd start remembering things if you'd start acting like a Cox he'd recognize."
Perry didn't know what to say to that, so he simply glowered. "State your business," he snapped.
"I'd like to talk to JD, if it's not too much to ask," the surgeon replied, meeting Perry's glare. "Or are you busy trying to convince him you're the long-lost Grand Duchess Anastasia?"
Perry snarled, but stepped backwards and pulled the door open. "He's in the den," he said.
Turk stepped past him and saw JD sitting on Perry's couch, laughing at something on the TV. He could also see, sitting on the coffee table, two glasses of--Jesus, was that wine? "What are you, trying to seduce him or something?" Turk hissed, spinning around to stare incredulously at the older doctor. "You are a sick man--this is low even for you."
"It's just wine, Gandhi," Perry growled, though he didn't quite meet Turk's eyes, staring instead at the coffee table where the offending wine sat. "Look, I'm... I'm going to take a walk," he said. "You can go talk to him"--
"Thanks for your permission."
--"but if I come back and hear you've upset him, you can bet I'll be shoving my foot up that self-righteous ass of yours and doing a little redecorating."
Turk rolled his eyes as Perry snatched his keys and headed out the door, giving him one last glare. Then, closing the door, he walked hesitantly over toward the den.
"Who was that, Perry?" JD asked without looking up from the TV (which was playing, Turk noted with a pang, an old rerun of Sanford and Son).
"It's... it's me, dude," he said quietly.
JD looked up, expression carefully guarded. "Oh. Hey, Turk." He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. "What's up?"
"JD, I... I just came by to... well, to apologize," Turk said, clearly uncomfortable. "I know I haven't been there for you since...well, the past few weeks, and I've been really selfish about this whole thing, and I--I'm sorry."
"It has to have been really weird for you," JD offered, shifting around to face him a little more, though he didn't look up, just played with the hem of his t-shirt, pulling a loose thread and gradually unraveling it as he spoke. "I...Carla brought my journals over, and I've been reading them. Sounds like we have a lot of fun. I really do wish I could remember you..."
Turk nodded, shifting a little awkwardly. "Okay if I sit down?" When JD nodded, sliding over on the couch, Turk moved forward and sat next to him. For a moment there was a silence, then Turk said, "It's just strange, you know? It's like I... I miss you so much, even though you're right there." He winced. "I'm sorry, that's probably not helping, is it?"
JD half-smiled. "Not really, no. But I know you're not trying to make things harder. Ten years is...it's a huge amount of time, man. This totally sucks for both of us." He sighed, leaning his head back. "I'd much rather remember you than Dan...My brother's kind of a jerk-off, isn't he?" He was silent for a couple moments, trying to think of what to say. "So, is Carla still mad at me?"
Turk sighed. "She's not as mad at you as she is at Dr. Cox," he admitted softly.
"Because he's being nice instead of a jerk?"
Turk laughed. "Actually... yeah, strange as that sounds. She feels like he's lying to you, and she can't figure out why."
JD shrugged. "Me either. He's not lying...I mean, I don't remember a lot, but I can still tell when someone's trying to pull one over on me. And from what I've read...he used to be a jerk to me most of the time. But he's not, now. Maybe he does just feel sorry for me or something, but either way, it's nice to not have to worry about...about still missing a third of my life. And I don't have to think about it, when I'm around him." He smiled a little. "And I know I liked him before, even when he was always a jerk." He suddenly thought of a question he truly wanted to ask Turk, but...not when they were talking about Perry.
Turk sighed again. "Yeah, about that... dude, I'm sorry I've been putting all this pressure on you to... to feel things you might not feel now. It... it's stupid to miss you when you're right here, and if I'd been acting like a friend instead of a selfish jerk, we'd probably be friends again already. So..." he extended a hand, looking hesitant but hopeful. "JD? I'm Chris Turk. Nice to meet you. Again."
"Chris, huh?" JD grinned, reaching out and shaking his hand. "Okay. Nice to meet you again, too. And I don't think you've been a jerk, really, this just sucks for everyone. So you're forgiven, fresh start, all that. Uh...fresher than most people get to, even," he added, giggling slightly. "So...why have we got a stuffed dead dog?"
"We found him at a garage sale," Turk said with a shrug, a grin splitting his face. JD felt himself grow instantly more comfortable. "I guess we thought he'd make a good addition to the dorm room. We're kinda weird," he added.
"I hear that," JD replied, shaking his head a little. "And here I'd kind of hoped I was cool...But I'm pretty much an enormous dork, aren't I?"
Turk grinned. "Every inch of it," he confirmed. "And we love you for it."
"Good to know," JD replied, grinning back. Now this...this was okay. Was better than okay, he could tell he would like Turk being himself, probably a lot. He smiled, stretching a little, making a face when it pulled at his ribs. "Ow. So...can I ask you a few things? I think you know me better than anyone..."
"Yeah, man, anything," Turk replied.
JD hesitated for a long moment. "Okay. I know I use hair stuff, and I'm kind of girly, and...dude, am I gay?"
Turk gave him an odd look. "Dude... that's not exactly something I can tell you, is it? I mean, last I knew, that was kind of an individual choice kinda thing."
JD blushed. "Okay, so I guess I wasn't. I've just been wondering...figured you'd know."
"Dude, again: It's not really up to me. You're not out, if that's what you're asking." He frowned, eyeing JD sideways. "But I'm betting since you brought it up you've got some kinda reason to suspect maybe you are. Am I right?"
JD shrugged. "Been noticing guys, and from what a few people said about me...Thought maybe I was. Would explain why every relationship I wrote about in the past three years has been a complete and utter disaster..."
Turk raised his eyebrows. "Dude... that's kinda freaky!" he said. "I mean, more power to ya and all, but how weird would it be, that the only way you realized you were gay was by forgetting everything else?"
JD laughed. "It'd be one hell of a coming out story, at least. I think...I think I might be. Or at least bi...That's cool, right?" he asked shyly, looking up hesitantly. "With you, I mean?"
"Long as it's not me you've been noticing, that's cool," Turk said. "Though I'd be interested in knowing who it is, seeing as how you've pretty much only been with one person since you woke up and I sure as hell hope it's not him." The words were light, but when JD didn't answer right away, Turk's eyes went wide. "Dude--tell me you're not falling for Dr. Cox."
"I...no, that'd be really dumb, right? But he does have a nice ass." JD offered a smile. "And it's not you. Even if Carla wouldn't scratch my eyes out, I just don't get that feeling from you. Brother, maybe, but not..." He blushed.
"You're falling for Dr. Cox!" Turk backed up, eyes wide. "You are!"
JD's bush deepened. "Shut up! I'm not going to do anything about it, I know that'd be incredibly stupid..."
"Oh my GOD." Turk lowered his head to his hands, shaking it slowly. "This is so messed up it's not even funny."
"It's a little funny," JD replied, sighing and looking away. Great. Get Turk talking to him just in time to freak him out... "Turk, dude...It's probably not real, I know that. It's...gratefulness or something, for him taking care of me. I just...wondered why I was getting a crush on a guy if I was supposed to be straight, that's all." But it wasn't just that, and he knew it. And he knew it was probably dumb to be trying for it, before his memory came back...but he honestly wasn't sure it ever would.
"Dude, that's not the problem," Turk said, sitting up and looking at JD seriously. "The problem is he's doing this on purpose. He's pretending to be this sweet, caring guy, he's letting you move in, he's serving you fucking wine--of course you're getting a crush on him. He probably planned it that way. And if I thought he was on the level I'd be all for it, but JD... he's using you, don't you see it?" Turk bit his lip, looking distressed. "I just can't figure out why. Maybe he really does want to get you in bed, or maybe he just wants a good laugh, or maybe it's a power trip--who the hell knows? But I don't want to see you get hurt, man. I don't trust him."
"The wine was my idea," JD admitted, blushing a little. "I brought it out after we ate. And...I asked him if I could stay here, he didn't think I'd want to if I was myself. I don't think he's being all Machiavelli about it, he's just...being decent. Which, I'll grant you, is apparently really weird, but...I don't know, Turk. Didn't I like him before, when the rest of you told me not to waste my time? I just don't think he's being dishonest with me, I really don't."
Turk studied him for a moment, then sighed, shaking his head. "Yeah, you did like him," he admitted softly. "And... honest to God truth be known, I... I think he cares about you too, in his own weird way. I just... I can't honestly think this"--he waved his hand at Perry's apartment--"is the genuine article, you know? I'm just worried about you."
"That means a lot, man," JD offered softly. "It really does. I don't know what I did, to get friends like you and Carla, and Elliot...but I think I'm a pretty lucky guy. I just hope I can remember, soon," he added bitterly, picking up his wine glass and drinking the last bit in it.
Turk nodded. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "Me too."
* * *
Perry stared up at the apartment from the parking lot, wondering just how much longer he should give JD and Turk before he went back up there. It was his apartment, after all, but... well, he couldn't deny he'd been sort of keeping JD to himself, and it was only fair he let the kid's best friend try to patch things up with him.
Still. He sighed, scuffing the sidewalk with his shoe and scowling. He could only imagine what was being said up there. He knew Carla and Turk (and Barbie, for that matter), along with half the staff at the hospital, were convinced that he had some sinister plot involving JD, and he had no doubt JD was now hearing one of the many hypotheses: he was being nice to make JD feel like an idiot, when his memory came back. He was playing him for a fool. He was trying to keep his memory from resurfacing by deliberately confusing him.
He was trying to seduce him.
He groaned, shaking his head. That last one was the only one that came anywhere near the truth, though Perry wasn't actually trying to do anything. In fact, of the two of them, JD had been the one making advances: asking to stay with him, asking him if he was single, suggesting they have a glass of wine after dinner. Perry couldn't deny he hadn't staved any of those advances off, however, so in a way, he was just as guilty as they made him out to be: he was letting himself be seduced.
He snorted, scuffing the ground again. Not like it would go anywhere--he'd certainly not let it, not until JD had his memory back, and then... well, then the kid would remember what a jackass he was, and he'd be mildly disgusted he'd ever been actively pursuing him in the first place. Things would go back to normal pretty quickly, and Perry would be stuck without even his usual mask to hide behind.
He sighed, shoulders slumping. It was wrong of him, he knew, but... he was almost glad JD's memory was taking its time. Almost. It meant he got to keep playing this out--this "what could've been" scenario that let him know just how much he'd thrown away, when he'd decided to treat the kid like crap from day one.
He knew that was selfish of him, knew that if he had a shred of common decency he'd tell JD to move back in with Carla and Turk--assuming they didn't convince him to do that anyway, of course--but he knew he wouldn't.
So, back to square one: he was still a selfish asshole. He was just playing that from a different angle than he normally did.
He looked up when he heard the door to the apartment building open. Turk walked out, tossing his keys lightly in the air and catching them, then catching sight of Perry. He paused, and for a long moment they stood simply staring at one another. Then Turk walked over to him and folded his arms. "Don't hurt him," he said simply, face more serious than Perry had ever seen it.
"Don't plan to," Perry said back, surprised with Turk simply nodded slowly.
"Hold you to that," he retorted.
Then he spun on his heels and walked to his car (JD's car, Perry corrected himself), climbing in and driving away without a word.
Frowning, wondering what on earth had transpired in the half hour or so JD and Turk had been talking, Perry pulled out his keys and headed back up toward his apartment.
* * *
JD looked up when Perry came back in, and smiled, grateful for the distraction from his thoughts. Turk had left him with a hell of a lot of things to ponder, after all, but some of them...He'd just as soon not deal with. "Hey. Where'd you disappear to?"
Perry shrugged, looking a little awkward. "Oh, just for a walk," he said. "Thought I'd give Gandhi a chance to make up for his behavior over the last few days." He stood next to the couch, hands shoved in his pockets still. "Did he?"
JD nodded, refilling their wineglass again. "Mmhmm. He did. I think things will be okay with us, now. And I like him, now that he's not being kind of an ass." He shook his head a little, picking up his glass. "But he's worried about me. Apparently you're playing me for some reason, taking advantage of my current mental illness for some Machiavellian plot to make me look stupider than usual. I think he has an over-active imagination."
Perry sighed, slumping back down on the couch and picking up his own wine glass, swirling the deep red liquid but not drinking it. "He's not the only one who thinks it," he replied. "Hell, when your memory comes back, you'll probably think it."
"So are you playing me?" JD asked bluntly. "Is this all some elaborate plan to make me look like an idiot? Because I gotta say...there would be much easier ways to arrange that."
"No," Perry replied simply. "I'm not."
JD nodded. "I didn't think so. But apparently my instincts don't count right now..." He shook his head, taking another sip of wine. "At least Turk didn't do the guilt trip thing this time. And I suppose it's nice he's worried about me...I just wish everyone didn't seem to think I'm going to recoil in horror the second I remember you from before. I know I liked you, even if you weren't always sunshine and light and puppies, so I don't get why everyone thinks that..."
Perry frowned, looking up. "You know you liked me?" he repeated. "How? Do you remember...?"
"Still not a damned thing after high school," JD replied bitterly, staring down into his glass, before draining it. "No. Carla brought me my journals. Apparently I'm even more girly than I thought, yeah," he added, when Perry raised an eyebrow at him. "I know you yelled at me a lot. And I know I liked you anyway. Which probably doesn't say much about my self-esteem, no, but...hell. You've been more than decent to me since this started, Perry, and I don't care about the rest of it. Okay? I can't see that changing just because I'll hopefully someday remember you being an ass sometimes, instead of just reading about it..." He squinted at the wine bottle, which was almost empty. Just like the one next to it. Oops.
Perry cringed, draining his own glass of wine and setting the glass on the table with a thunk.
JD looked over at him, wishing Turk hadn't showed up. This wasn't how this was supposed to be going... "I'm sorry. I think I'm a little drunk. Should've known I'd be a lightweight..."
"Wine's strong," Perry said simply, shrugging. It was, too--he was used to hard liquor, but they'd drunk a lot, and even he had a bit of a buzz. He shook his head sharply to clear it, wondering what they were going to do now. The pleasant patter of conversation they'd been having before Turk's rather untimely interruption had been broken, and Perry wasn't sure if he should try to get it back or just suggest they both get some sleep. He settled for draining the rest of the bottle of wine into his glass and downing it in a single gulp.
JD frowned, watching him. "Guess I'm done," he said, stretching carefully and slumping down again, thigh once more pressed against Perry's. "Least I found one thing out for sure," he offered after a moment, deciding to hell with subtlety. He wasn't that drunk, but he was buzzed, and willing to do for things he might not've, if he'd been sober.
Perry swallowed, not even bothering to apologize for stealing the rest of the wine. "What's that?" he said, then cleared his throat when his voice came out a little hoarse.
"Hadn't come out, before. Suppose I should do that at some point, if I want any guy to think he has a chance..." JD looked sideways at Perry, waiting for his reaction.
Perry's senses, a little dulled by the wine, cleared sharply at that. He snapped his head up, looking at JD, then swallowed when he saw the look on JD's face: carefully blank, guarded with caution--but also a quiet hope, and was that--? Yes. Yes, it was.
Invitation.
"I... JD," he started, stammering a little as he cast about wildly for something to say. Some proper way to respond that wouldn't end up with one or both of them saying or doing something they'd probably regret in the morning. But he found his mouth flopping uselessly, and another part of him--a very insistent part of him, in fact--was nudging him slyly. Isn't this what you wanted? It whispered silkily.
It--God, yes, it was, of course it was, but... but it wasn't right.
"I mean, it'd be hard for him to know it was okay, if he thought I was straight, huh?" JD offered, wondering where the hell the confidence was coming from. But he wasn't going to knock it. Not when Perry was looking at him like that. Surprised, yeah, but hopeful, too. He was sure of it. "So I figure I should make sure he'd know I wasn't."
Perry realized his mouth was hanging open and snapped it closed, swallowing hard. "I, um..." he drew a breath, unable to look away. "I guess that would be a good thing to do." What are you doing?! Idiot--he doesn't know you!! Are you really going to take advantage of him like this?! He shut out the voice resolutely, finally lowering his eyes--though they didn't get far until they snagged on JD's mouth. How had he not noticed exactly how full JD's lower lip was?
JD noticed his gaze, and let his tongue trail across his lip slowly, hiding a grin at Perry's reaction. "Perry? I'm not straight. And I'm gonna go ahead and guess you're not completely, either, are you?"
"Um." Um? Dr. Perry Cox, world-renowned ranter, is reduced to 'Um'?! Come on, say some real words, at least. "I... no?" He wasn't quite sure he remembered the question, but he hoped he'd answered correctly. If it meant JD would keep looking at him like that...
"Thanks for letting me know. This could've ended really badly, otherwise..." JD smiled slowly, and leaned forward, not sure he was doing the right thing, but knowing he wasn't going to stop.
And he didn't. He leaned in, pressing his lips against Perry's, tongue lightly sweeping over them before he pulled away again. "You don't have to do anything about it." He sat back again, still watching Perry, eyes slightly hooded. "But I thought you should know."
"Th-thank you?" Perry really wasn't listening; he'd all but whimpered, when JD had kissed him, and the alcohol hadn't done anything to impede his body's reaction to the feel of those lips pressed against his, full and warm and damp from the wine. He swallowed again.
JD laughed softly. "You're welcome. So here's the thing, Perry. I want you. I think you're incredibly hot and I don't really care if you're a jerk in your off time. So...do you want me, too? Or should I go jack off in the shower thinking about your ass again?"
Oh sweet Jesus. Did he say again? "Um. The first one?"
"Good." JD stood up, tugging his shirt over his head and dropping it, before turning toward the hall, taking a couple steps. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Well? Are you coming?"
Probably sooner than you think. "I... yes...?" He stood, nearly swaying on his feet, wine and sheer shock making him feel a little giddy. He walked over to JD, who took his hand and led him down the hall.
JD took Perry to the room he'd been staying in, figuring it was slightly less threatening. He was surprised the older man hadn't protested yet, and figured it had a lot to do with the way JD was trying to keep him off balance. So he intended to keep him there as long as possible. Gently but firmly, he pushed Perry back on the bed and crawled up to straddle his hips, leaning down to kiss him again, longer this time, tongue playing over the other man's lips, gentling them open before he pulled away.
Perry was still too dazed to do anything but follow JD's lead. Distantly, he knew he should put a stop to this, but he was far too distracted to come up with any good reasons as to why.
JD smiled, pulling back and pressing his hips down a little, smile widening to feel Perry's arousal. "Apparently I haven't forgotten how to kiss, then..."
The reasons hit Perry then, like a punch to the gut, finally breaking through the haze of wine and lust and sheer shock. "JD, I--wait," he said, putting his hands on JD's arms, stopping him from leaning down for another kiss. "I... I'm not sure this is a good idea." He was aware how ridiculous a thing that was to say now, after letting JD drag him down the hall and climb on top of him, for fuck's sake, but he had to say it.
JD pressed his hips down again, rubbing his erection against Perry's still incredibly obvious one. "You're not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Could've fooled me. I know what I'm doing, Perry, believe me. You're not taking advantage. If anything, it's the other way around. Why do you think I opened the wine, anyway?" He didn't try to kiss Perry again, but kept his hips rolling lazily against the other man's.
"Fuck, JD..." Perry panted.
"That was the plan, yeah," JD agreed cheerfully, grinding down harder. "Though 'blow JD' or 'fuck Perry' would be acceptable, too..."
"You--wait a second!" Perry suddenly stiffened, all but throwing himself out from under JD and scrambling backward off the bed so quickly he landed with a thump on his ass on the carpet. "JD, just--just wait a second!"
Shit. JD sighed, sitting back, not so subtly adjusting himself in his jeans. "Yeah?"
"I..." Perry ran a hand through his curls, breathing heavily. "Look, I... I want this, don't... don't get me wrong, but..." he waved his hand, frustrated. "You don't really know me," he pleaded. "Hell, you can't remember anything from the last ten years. I mean, yeah, okay, maybe you liked me before, fine, but for all you know, you thought of me as a father or something, and if you do this, and then you suddenly snap out of it and you remember what you really thought..." he trailed off, looking up at JD from his rather undignified sprawl on the floor. "Do you see the problem here?"
"Dude, it wasn't as a father. You don't write down those kinds of fantasies about a father. Though I think I did call you Daddy in one of them...That was a joke," JD added, at the look on Perry's face. "Perry...As far as I can tell, I already had a crush on you. But you know what? I don't give a crap about before. I want you now, and I know I do, and if I remember something I don't like, I'm old enough to reconcile it with now. Or are you planning to start treating me like crap again if I get my memory back? Then we might have a problem, yeah, but I don't see why you'd have to."
"I..." Perry trailed off, at a loss again. In all honesty, he hadn't thought about how he'd interact with JD, if--no, when--his memory returned. Okay, so that wasn't true, he'd thought about it a LOT, but... he hadn't managed to come to any conclusions. In truth, JD without his memory had seemed almost like a different person, so treating him that way had felt... well, natural. But when he had it back? It's not like he'd just snap back to being the old JD, with no memory of all that transpired between them when his memory was gone.
Not how it works, Per, a voice inside him whispered. You don't get to keep him like this, but he's not coming back unchanged, either.
He sighed, lowering his head, wilting a little. "I don't know," he murmured. "I just..." Oh, for fuck's sake. And he called JD a girl?
"Yeah, eloquently put," JD said, just managing not to roll his eyes. "Perry, face it, I like you. And I've got your number, now. You're not an asshole, you just play one on TV. So what's it gonna hurt if I remember you putting the act on for me, too? You're not doing it anymore."
Perry closed his eyes, knowing he was defeated. "Okay," he whispered. "Okay, JD, if--if you're sure this is what you want."
"Hey..." JD slid off the bed, taking Perry's hand and squeezing it gently. "Do I look unsure? I know I'm a bit broken right now, but...I know what I want. I want you. But if this isn't what you want, I can always go jack off again." He grinned slyly. "Apparently I've had a lot of practice, I'm really good at it..."
Perry couldn't help it: he laughed. "I don't think that'll be necessary," he said, looking up at JD and lifting one eyebrow. You're an idiot, Perry, the rational voice in his brain warned, but he shoved it aside. Sure, he might regret this, come morning, but... well, right now, JD was making too much sense to be ignored.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Perry growled. Noted, he thought--then lunged forward and kissed JD. Hard.
Yes! JD kissed him back just as hard, tongue thrusting between the other man's lips, exploring even as one hand came up to the back of Perry's neck. He curled his fingers into a fist, clutching the curls there and tugging lightly as he deepened the kiss, wondering distantly why he was being so aggressive. But he didn't care, because the noise Perry made in response...Holy fuck. He needed to hear that again, and as often as possible.
Perry gave up all semblance of resistance, letting JD tug him up and back onto the bed, and moaning when the younger man resumed his position on top of him.
Perry Cox was a bottom. JD took an internal moment to savor that, before rolling his hips again, hands slipping under the hem of the other man's t-shirt. "I've been wanting to get my tongue on your chest..." He smiled wolfishly--the expression looking disturbingly natural on his usually good-natured face--and leaned down, nipping softly at Perry's lower lip, before pulling his shirt the rest of the way off.
Perry blinked at the younger man, wondering where the sweet kid he thought he knew had gone, and when he'd been replaced by this domineering stranger. In all his fantasies about JD, he had never imagined that JD would be the one taking the lead--or that he himself would be so passive about the whole ordeal. But he was finding himself speechless at nearly every turn.
JD's tongue flicking at his nipple didn't help matters, either. Or at least they didn't help him in terms of being articulate... "Gnnhuuuhgh," he groaned, head arching back, clenching his jaw and his eyes shut.
JD grinned. "You like that." He did it again, before pressing his tongue down hard, then scraping his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin. And for all he couldn't remember ever having sex before, he seemed to know what to do. He'd read his own fantasies, of course, and, well...Perry had a lot of channels. JD'd been taking full advantage of that fact. Not to mention everything on the internet. It was pretty much all porn, anyway, after all. So he had a decent idea of where he was going with things, and how to do them, even if it was mostly theoretical knowledge.
And Perry didn't seem to have any complaints thus far, either.
So JD didn't stop. Before long, he'd trailed sucking bites across and down Perry's chest and stomach, feeling the well-defined muscles jump and shiver under his mouth. He paused, when he reached the waistband of Perry's jeans, smiling at the straining bulge obvious against the denim. "Hmm..." He traced it with one finger, listening to Perry groan softly in response. "What to do next?" He glanced up, watching as he changed from a light tracing to a strong grip with his whole hand, squeezing.
"Jesus, Newbie..." Perry panted, slipping into the old nickname out of habit. "You are a fucking tease! Oh..." He flexed his thighs, pushing up against JD's torturously light grip.
JD pressed back down, almost giggling. This was...incredible. That he was causing these reactions had him feeling giddy, and he had to remind himself to focus, keep control, and keep to the plan. Not that there was much of one...he wasn't entirely sure what Perry would want, and though he knew what he himself wanted, he wasn't sure it'd be okay with the older man.
He certainly hoped so, though.
Twisting his wrist, JD tightened his grip again, before using his other hand to pop loose the top button, and pull down Perry's zipper. After that it was short work to hook his thumbs in the waistband of both jeans and boxers and pull them off together, letting Perry's thick erection spring free. "Still think I'm just teasing?" he asked, licking his lips as he curled his fingers once more around it, stroking lightly.
"If... if you are, then you're... pure evil--oh." Perry twisted slightly, hips straining up against JD's hand. God... how the hell was he falling apart like this over a hand job, for fuck's sake...?
But it was more than that, he knew it. It was the whole evening--the wine, the look in JD's eyes, on his face; his lips--God, his lips, pressed against Perry's, then wrapped around his nipple, suckling...
"Thought that was supposed to be you," JD replied, grinning slowly before leaning over, his tongue flicking out and over the head of Perry's cock, tasting and teasing as his hand stroked slowly.
Perry hissed. "Well... you are my protégé...apparently I trained you well," he managed. Holy Jesus, the kid was too good at this...
"Mmm," was JD's only response, his mouth rather busy for snarky comments. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but Perry didn't seem to have any problems with it so far, so he just kept exploring, trailing his tongue over and around and back, before letting the other man's cock slide between his lips, thick and heavy against his tongue. He swallowed around the length, fingers dropping to roll Perry's balls back and forth between them. And all the while, he kept his eyes on the other man's face, watching him.
Perry had also moved beyond coherent speech, though for an entirely different reason. His mouth hung open, eyes squeezed shut, but at a particularly deft twist of JD's tongue he released a choked cry and looked down, wanting to see--
Oh, Jesus... The sight nearly undid him--that mouth, those lips, wrapped tight around him, devouring him in wet, suckling heat... and God, JD's eyes, dark and intent and watching him from beneath thick lashes. Perry found he couldn't look away; he propped himself on his elbows to give himself better leverage, and slowly, carefully, began to rock his hips, pressing them hard into the mattress before nudging himself gently up into JD's mouth.
JD hummed his approval around his mouthful, as Perry started to move, but carefully set the rhythm himself. It came to him, as he continued, that he'd done this before, but he didn't know who'd been on the receiving end. There was no face, no identity to go with the memory, just the heavy feel of a different erection in his mouth, the musky scent...But he pushed it away, concentrating on Perry, on the here and now.
And it was an easy thing to do, watching Perry's face change, his eyes nearly close, only to be forced open again. God, he was hot like this, losing himself, giving up control... Wonder if I could tie him up sometime, give him something to pull against... But JD pushed that thought away, as well, pulling up nearly off the other man's cock before sliding back down as far as he could go, tongue pulsing all the way.
"JD... wait," Perry said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and pushing.
Jesus Christ, now what? JD pulled back, letting Perry loose from his mouth with a soft 'pop' and sat back on his heels, licking his lips again. "Hmmm?"
Perry read the exasperation in the young man's expression, and grinned. "No, not that--only that if you keep doing that this is going to be over before we really even start it. Hell, you still have your pants on." He moved until he was kneeling in front of JD, and hooked his fingers around the waistband of JD's jeans, leaning forward until their mouths were mere inches apart. "You know?" he whispered, sliding one hand down to gently squeeze along the hard bulge under the denim.
"Oh fuck..." JD's head fell forward, until he was resting his forehead against Perry's, his hips pressing forward of their own accord. "Someone...someone should help me get rid of them, then..."
Perry growled, crushing their mouths together--then, in a rather bold move that surprised even him, he gripped JD's waist and twisted him around, gently but insistently lowering him down on the bed. He then leaning over him, deftly thumbing open the button and lowering the zipper of JD's jeans with one hand, while the other slipped beneath, into the flap of his boxers, to cup and stroke softly.
JD lost his breath in a rush, touched by Perry's gentleness--his ribs were still sore enough to warrant it--and admittedly even more turned on to have the big man looming over him like that. He thought of fighting back for the upper hand, but forgot it as Perry's fingers closed around him. "God, yes..."
Perry smirked. "Like that, do you?" he murmured, stroking a little tighter.
"No, I'm just...faking so as not to...to...fuck! So as not to hurt your...your pride," JD managed to reply, around Perry's movements. His hips rolled in counterpoint and he groaned, softly.
"Well, aren't you the thoughtful one," Perry returned. "But I guess I shouldn't take advantage of your kindness any longer." He removed his hand, swiping a thumb across the tip as he released the younger man--but he didn't tease long, only letting go long enough to carefully remove JD's jeans and boxers, tossing them over the side of the bed before returning to brace himself over him.
"So," he murmured, one finger tracing over the younger man's straining erection, "what did you have in mind, exactly? Since you apparently planned this." On the word 'planned,' he let his fingers curl around the base, and gave it a light squeeze before returning to the teasing stroke of fingertips.
JD laughed softly. "Been planning it for over a week...But I didn't think I'd get this far," he admitted, hips arching up again almost absently. "I want you. In me, around me, over me, under me...Doesn't much matter how, I've daydreamed it every way."
Perry closed his eyes briefly against the images JD's words conjured. "That... that does leave us with quite a few possibilities to explore, doesn't it?" he murmured. "I'll have to consider those options. But first, I think it's only fair that I return the favor, as it were, that you were kind enough to bestow upon me..." As he spoke, he slid backwards on the bed, until he was braced right over his goal. He glanced up at JD, grinning mischievously at him before lowering his mouth and drawing his tongue slowly from the base to the tip, swirling it there and keeping his fingers wrapped around the base, holding him steady.
"Oh holy fuck..." JD breathed, his hips trying to come up off the bed, only to be stopped by Perry's firm grip. "I'm good with...with that..."
Perry hummed in response, mouth too busy to reply otherwise. He slipped the head into his mouth then out, then in again, grinning as it made JD writhe and gasp softly. "Still faking it up there?" he murmured, after this had gone on for several moments.
"Shut up and blow me," JD replied roughly, fingers fisting in Perry's hair.
Perry chuckled, but obeyed, finally drawing JD fully into his mouth. For a moment he simply let him lay against his tongue, waiting until the sudden tension in JD's thighs eased a little before sliding down further, relaxing his jaw and his throat so he could take him to the base before swallowing around him, fighting the instinct to cough. Then he drew back, swirling his tongue in a circle around the shaft before diving down again. His eyes watered a little, but he simply blinked, not caring about his own discomfort--JD's reactions were more than worth it.
"Oh God, Perry..." JD's fingers tightened in the other man's hair, his hips shuddered under the effort of not moving. He forced his eyes open to watch, and let out a noise quite close to a whimper, feeling himself twitch hard inside Perry's mouth. "Jesus..."
Perry hummed a little, which elicited such a favorable response from JD that he did it again. He wanted this to be good for JD--wanted it to be amazing. He reached up with his free hand and teased the sac that lay hot and heavy between JD's legs, feeling it draw up tight at his ministrations. He slipped a finger into his mouth, alongside JD's erection, then drew it below, teasing and stroking at the tight opening there, using his thumb to press in hard against the soft patch of skin just behind JD's balls.
"Oh fuck..." JD's voice broke and he shuddered all over, somehow managing to release Perry's hair in time to fist both his hands in the blankets, knuckles turning white with the force of his grip. Each flick of Perry's finger seemed to send further shudders through him, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. Distantly, he knew that was good, it'd relax him more, and he was certain he'd be good for more than one go... "M'close...don't stop..."
Don't plan to, Perry thought, but he didn't pause. Instead, he drew his mouth up to suck hard on the head, and, with the hand that had gripped the base of JD's cock, he began a fast, tight stroke, moving his other hand to squeeze JD's balls gently. Let go...
"Oh God...oh God, oh God, oh God..." JD's voice started as a soft chant that grew louder, until his voice choked off, his hips snapping up as all the sensations Perry'd been causing came together, forcing his climax up and out in long spurts, pulling a guttural cry along with them.
Perry kept him deep as he came, swallowing, accepting JD's release, relishing it as tangible evidence of the young man's pleasure. He moaned softly as JD bucked and shuddered, letting him move as he wished, feeling his own cock aching and throbbing sympathetically. He kept JD deep until he began to soften, falling limply back against the sheets, then released him slowly, sitting up and licking his lips.
"Holy..." JD opened his eyes, grinning softly. "Holy shit. That was...yeah. God. Um. Wow."
Perry shifted, moving until he was braced on his hands and knees over JD, cock heavy and hot between his legs. "Glad you approved," he murmured, moving to kiss him but hesitating, not certain how JD would react to being kissed after Perry had swallowed him.
But JD arched up eagerly, tongue slipping into Perry's mouth with no hesitation. He spared a moment's regret that Perry couldn't just lie on top him, but pushed it away in the warmth of the other man's mouth. "So," he murmured, when he at last pulled back again. "Wanna fuck me?"
God, you have no idea... But Perry hesitated. "Are you sure?" he murmured, knowing not only was this a rather... intimate act, to say the least, but that JD's ribs had to be sore, still. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," JD replied with soft assurance, smiling up at him. "I trust you."
Perry felt his heart melt a little, touched by both JD's words and the open, adoring look on his face. "I... yeah, okay," Perry said softly, leaning down to kiss him gently again. The he pulled back, a little at a loss. "What can we...? I mean, I don't have..."
JD grinned, leaning up for a kiss before scrambling out from under him, digging in the dresser. "I do. Told you I'd planned this." He tossed a small bottle of lube and a box of condoms on the bed. And found himself just looking at Perry, sitting there naked and hard, want in his eyes. This was real. And he hoped like hell he'd never forget it.
"Well. Aren't you the initiative-taker," Perry smirked, picking up the box of condoms. "Put this on my credit card, did you?"
"Nah," JD replied impishly, crossing back to the bed, still grinning. "Used the cash you left for me."
"Crafty, Newbie," Perry grinned back, reaching out and circling JD's wrist to tug him back up onto the bed. "And I think I have an idea..." He lay back, stretching out against the sheets, and eased JD after him, so the younger man was sitting easily astride his hips. "This should keep everyone happy without hurting you, don't you think?"
JD smiled, settling himself gratefully. He did trust Perry, but it was true this'd be safer for the both of them... "Definitely should. So are you getting me ready or are you watching me do it myself?" he asked, nodding at the lube, trying to keep from sounding at all nervous. And he wasn't. Much...
Perry grinned. "I like this watching idea," he admitted. "Are you really that flexible?"
"Usually," JD replied, brow furrowed. He didn't think it'd twist his ribs too much...and reached around behind himself to check. "Yeah, I can manage. Hmm, now how to give you the best view..."
"I like you where you are," Perry murmured, sliding his hands onto the tops of JD's thighs and stroking gently. "And I think I've changed my mind, anyway--no sense risking you hurting those ribs, right?" Then he grinned. "I wouldn't mind watching you do other things, of course..." he winked, reaching out and squirting some lube into his hand, before reaching between JD's legs and once again massaging the opening there.
"Oh?" JD raised an eyebrow, even as his head fell back and he pressed against Perry's touch. "What...what sort of things?"
"Use your imagination, Newbie," Perry replied, slipping one finger inside carefully, the pressing it in further when JD didn't protest. "Surely you didn't forget how to do that?"
JD braced his hands against Perry's chest, relaxing against the intrusion that felt...well, different than he'd expected, but definitely exciting. "Huh?" he asked, not really paying attention. "What d'you mean?"
"You," Perry informed him, slipping his finger in all the way and curling it a little, amused that he did, at least, have some practice at this, "are a world-class daydreamer. I swear every time I turn around, you're staring off into space, concocting some absurd fantasy or another."
JD would've liked to answer, something about being relieved to know he'd always done that, but it was hard to answer around the sudden muffled noise that escaped him. "Oh God...do that again?"
Perry curled his finger again, stroking, and sliding a second in as well. "In fact," he continued, "I used to use those times to my advantage. You're a pretty solid daydreamer; you don't notice what's going on around you, when you're enmeshed in one of your little scenarios. Would you like to know what I'd do, when I realized you weren't paying attention to me?" He moved his fingers carefully, stretching, paying very little attention to what he was saying but talking to distract JD, keep him relaxed.
"What?" JD asked breathlessly, with a look of pure wanton pleasure. What Perry was doing felt odd in way, good in another. It didn't hurt, and every movement of his fingers seemed to send shocks all the way through JD's body, making his cock twitch back to life.
"I'd watch you," Perry said. "That's all. Just watch. And when you'd get that dreamy look on your face, that ridiculous smile, sometimes I'd pretend you were dreaming about me."
Oh God. Did I really just say that out loud? Perry cringed, hoping that maybe JD was too distracted to have noticed...
"Hope I was," JD replied, opening his eyes and looking down at Perry for a moment, before grinding down and gasping again.
Perry snorted. "If you were, then based on your occasional exclamations, you were having some strange thoughts about me," he grinned. "You ready, kid?"
JD nodded, but grinned. "Then I don't think I want to know what they were..." He let out a long breath as Perry slipped his fingers free, smiling down at him. "You really hoped I was daydreaming about you?"
Perry blushed, fingers fumbling as he opened a condom and put it on. "I... well... yeah, I guess," he admitted. "You know. Sometimes."
JD wriggled a little. "Good. I like that. And I've definitely been daydreaming about you lately..." He raised himself up on his knees, reaching down to guide Perry into position, letting out a long breath before he sat down carefully, letting out a breathy sigh as he did so.
"Oh, Jesus..." Perry closed his eyes, the searing pleasure that enveloped him as JD took him in making it impossible to breathe for a moment. "Oh, my God...Newbie..."
"M'not God, but thanks..." JD's voice was hoarse, though, as he lowered his hips all the way, hands once again braced against Perry's chest. He experimentally tightened his muscles around Perry, then relaxed them again, smiling a little at the reaction it got him.
Perry released a harsh breath, nearly a moan, and thrust his hips, unable to stop himself. "Oh, fuck...JD, that's so... oh..."
"Good?" JD suggested, doing it again. Holy fuck, this was...incredible. Completely incredible. He lifted himself up, carefully, and then dropped back down, groaning as he did so. "Fuck...."
Perry opened his eyes, watching, breathing ragged; watched as JD raised himself again, then pressed down, meeting the rolling thrust of Perry's hips. He was hard again, Perry saw, and reached out, wrapping his fingers around JD's cock, stroking quickly. He wasn't going to last long, he knew it, and he wanted JD to come with him...
JD reached down, putting his fingers over Perry's, squeezing them lightly, and then pushed them gently aside. "Just...just watch me," he panted, hand matching Perry's thrusts and the motions of his own hips, all of it at a gradually increasing pace.
Oh dear GOD... Perry's eyes widened, watching as JD sat back, head falling back and mouth dropping open as he stroked himself, releasing soft whimpers that weren't quite moans but weren't quite sighs, all the while lifting himself up and rocking back down against Perry, tight and hot around him. Perry drew his knees up a little, planting his heels, and gripped JD's thighs, thrusting harder. "Oh, God, JD... I'm... I'm going to..."
JD clamped down tight around him, his hand moving in faster, looser strokes, his soft noises growing deeper. "Me first," he murmured, and suddenly spasmed hard around Perry's cock as he spilled over his own hand, eyes squeezed tightly shut, his whole body arched in release.
Perry followed an instant later, arching up hard and groaning as his cock spasmed again and again in its tight, hot, living sheath. His toes curled into the sheets, entire body tense, the sensations ripping through him simply too powerful to be believed. He wouldn't survive this. No one could survive this. "Oh, my God..."
JD grinned again, not quite sure how he was keeping himself upright when his bones seemed to have been removed. "Told you I'm not God...but again, thanks."
Perry made a face, halfway between amused and incredulous. "Oh, just get down here, would you please?" he panted.
"Already went down," JD replied, but carefully lowered himself, groaning when he straightened his legs. He let out a soft sigh of contentment, though, when his head rested against Perry's shoulder. "That was awesome."
"S'putting it mildly," Perry murmured, arms going up to rest lightly across JD's back.
"Mmm..." JD knew they shouldn't just fall asleep, but the thought of moving any further...Yeah, it so wasn't happening. Perry could do it, if he wanted to. "Thank you...That was way better than imagining it was...."
Thank you? Perry frowned, but stroked JD's hair. "Don't mention it," he said lightly. His frown melted away, however, when JD hummed sleepily. "G'night, Newbie," he murmured, unable to keep the smile from returning. He closed his own eyes, feeling himself beginning to drift, JD's weight warm and comfortable above him. He lowered his arms to his waist, holding him carefully but firmly, and let himself begin to drift into a deep, relaxed sleep.
JD followed, not long after, though he wanted to stay awake to savor the sensation of being held, being cared for. Still, he reasoned, as he yawned, he was sure to have good dreams now.
He was wrong.
* * *
Next Chapter
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![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 05:28 (UTC)Teehee, Just kidding. I'll keep my locks in place. I luuurved this chapter to death, and now I shall wait uber impatiently for the next.
PS: It was hot. And that is the only coherent response I can find to say.
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:43 (UTC)And yey for hot! :D Glad you thought so!
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 06:25 (UTC)yay for jd, intiative-taker!!!
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:49 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 22:26 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 07:03 (UTC)I'm so nervous to find out about his bad dreams in the fourth installment ::nervously twiddles thumbs::
Thanks for posting two in one, day, as always you rock!
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 07:37 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:48 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 08:17 (UTC)I haven't read such delicious man on man action in such a long time. Sure I've read a lot of the MxM but not this well written!
The ending has me worried, but I shouldn't be...Right?
*Squeals like a fangirl* Oh, who cares? I'll find out tomorrow and right now that chapter made me very happy.
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 10:13 (UTC)unn... meggy like this chappy...you do good....sorry, my words are on hiatus...
and I agree with the Turk hair pulling moment!
SQUEEE!
~Meg
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:48 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 13:38 (UTC)That was hawt.
So good.
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:45 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 14:27 (UTC)~Meg
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:47 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 16:08 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:45 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 16:25 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:46 (UTC)We definitely do try for both plot and substance, though, and wheee! that you've enjoyed it!
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 11:12 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 16:27 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:43 (UTC)As soon as
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 16:45 (UTC)that is all.
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:46 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 17:10 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Dec 2006 18:42 (UTC)One, we have plenty of evidence from the show--Kristen the med student, Julie the drug rep, and Jordan herself--that Perry is submissive in bed, at least on occasion. I've no doubt he's also mouthy about it and fights for control while it happens, but then a lot of bottoms do.
Two, JD had to take initiative in this scene, to get what he wanted. Quite understandably, Perry's reluctant to do anything sexual until JD regains his memory, so JD had to keep him off balance and force things to get Perry past that. As soon as he does, the dynamic visibly shifts, and they trade that dominance back and forth for the rest of the scene.
Three...well, it was hot. ;D But we did seriously consider it before hand, and talked our options out before going this way.
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Date: 17 Dec 2006 07:28 (UTC)We know it's a little different, but hell, we were tired of seeing JD always be the proverbial girl. This was one way to emphasize that yes, in fact, they are both men.
...even if the dominant JD bit doesn't last long, as soon as Perry has his wits about him again. ;)
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Date: 16 Dec 2006 23:16 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Dec 2006 03:47 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Dec 2006 17:27 (UTC)::brain fizzles::
::giggle::
::races off to next chappie::
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Date: 19 Dec 2006 00:35 (UTC)Glad you liked it, hee! I was blushing pretty hard while writing it. -_-
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Date: 18 Dec 2006 13:27 (UTC)This fic was so good and so damn sexy!
JD was so flirty and that was awesome and I actually loved the idea that he was the dominant one in the beginning, although it was a little off that Perry didn't know what to say all the time.
It was so cute that Dr. Cox told JD he hoped he was day dreaming of him!
I love the scene were JD came on to Dr. Cox and kissed him. Zach Braff does have amazing lips.(:
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Date: 19 Dec 2006 00:36 (UTC)Glad you liked it!!
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Date: 25 Feb 2007 08:52 (UTC)Angst demons, that's what you are. I'm convinced.
The porn was lovely, but it's the discussion with Turk I'm loving the most. He's such a real guy, the way you write him ... flawed but loving and just ... right.
Loved it!
~m
no subject
Date: 3 Apr 2007 16:54 (UTC)no subject
Date: 6 Aug 2007 23:24 (UTC)Metaaaaa.
"Perry Cox was a bottom."
IAWTC. I mean, sure, he didn't as far as giving/receiving was involved, but still. This is something I believe - that JD is more dominant in bed and Perry is more submissive, no matter what they seem like. I dunno, seeing JD make out with Elliot and seeing Jordan slap Perry right before they start making out... I think they could be versatile people.
But anyway. Hot porn. No, really, hot porn. But JD suggesting the wine and planning on seducing Perry? That itself should win a trophy of hotness.