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randomweavingFic: Changeling
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: R for language, mild sexual situations, and implied m/m attraction
Description: This is a wildly AU story with fantastical elements based on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thuri's Nano writing project. It begins late in season three, before Carla and Turk's wedding, and from there follows the characters as they face the Change, a strange, magical phenomenon that is turning ordinary humans into half-human creatures from fantasy.
Chapter listings: Contents Post
JD was almost too nervous to sit still; he was pretty sure if it weren't for Jack he'd be pacing. As it was, he tried to keep his attention focused on the child, grinning at the soft breeze from the child's idly flapping wings. "You're going to learn to fly and walk at the same time, aren't you?" he murmured, grin broadening at Jack's answering giggle. "And drive everyone insane with worry when you do. No hiding the cookies on the top shelf, not for Jack."
It wasn't that much longer, when JD heard footsteps on the stairs, too light to be Perry's. He drew himself up, smile fading in his nervousness, wondering what he should say. He was slightly proud when he didn't jump at the knock on the door, and even more surprised that there'd been a knock at all. He'd half expected Jordan to simply kick the door in. "Yeah?" he said, proud of the way his voice only shook a little.
"JD? It's Jordan. Can I come in?"
"Um...sure." JD offered her a nervous smile, when she opened the door. "Jordan, I'm sorry, I didn't...I swear nothing happened. Even if we hadn't been too tired, both of us injured, Jack there, and if Perry was interested, and I know he's not, I'd never...I'd never do anything to mess things up for you, or for Jack. I swear. I'm sorry enough about all this..."
Jordan lifted an eyebrow, looking mildly amused at JD's babbling. "What exactly do you feel for my ex-husband, JD?" she asked softly when he finally trailed off, folding her arms across her chest.
JD flushed, and looked down, not meeting her eyes. "I..." Fuck it, he had to tell her the truth. Which would be a hell of a lot easier if he was sure what the truth was himself. "It's complicated, and I'm not always sure," he admitted softly. "If things were incredibly different? I might be in love with him. But he's straight, and with you, so he doesn't see me like that...I guess I just count myself lucky to be his friend, and try and deal with the attraction part without letting him see it." He sighed, drawing a hand up through his hair and finally looking up into her face, which was oddly impassive. "I like him, Jordan, and I respect him. And he's important to me. But he's yours, and I'd never...I'd never do anything to fuck that up. Sorry," he added hastily, when her eyes flicked to Jack. "Mess. Mess that up."
Jordan sighed, lowering her arms and moving to sit on the other side of Jack. "JD, Perry and I... we're very different people," she said, one hand stroking through Jack's hair. The child, uninterested, made motorboat noises between them, watching his feet as he waved them in the air. "I don't know why on earth I'm telling you this, but... you should know that there's a part of Perry that is most definitely interested in you."
JD's jaw dropped, and he realized after a moment he was staring at her blankly, and Jack was trying to pull his bottom lip off. "Wait, he...what? He's straight."
"To hell with that--what does that mean, anyway?" Jordan waved her hand dismissively. "He's human, JD. And you're... charming, in your own awkward way."
"Thanks, I think..."
"Shut up. The point is..." she sighed and lowered her eyes. "The point is, JD, that you two are going to be spending a lot of time up here alone together. And while I'd appreciate it if it didn't become a habit... well, I'm not going to rip your throat out if you two... you know."
JD shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if he'd gotten a head injury he hadn't noticed up until now. Because clearly, this couldn't be real. "Did you just give me permission to do your ex-husband? God...I'd have to tell him I wanted to, and he'd probably kill me!" Except if what she'd just said was right, he wouldn't, and...Oh God...
"Look, you're both only human, okay?" she said again, then glanced at JD's wings and lifted an eyebrow. "Well, more or less," she ammended. Then, growing serious again, she reached out and laid a hand over JD's. "I know Perry, and I know you well enough," she said softly. "If you're stuck up here with nothing to do but worry and stew in your own sexual tension, you'll go insane. It would probably happen anyway, eventually, but heaven knows if I leave it off like this Perry will beat himself up until he drives both of us away, and, well...we both need him right now, so we can't have that, can we?" She sighed, looking down at her son; JD, too stunned to respond, could only stare at her. After a long moment of silence, she looked at him again. "Just do me one favor, would you?"
He tilted his head, still not quite sure this was real, but willing to humor the fantasy, if nothing else. "What?"
"Promise me you'll never, ever tell me about it."
"It's a deal," JD replied, shivering a little. "Can't promise you he won't, but I won't say a word. I swear. Ever." To anyone. Because what the hell would Turk say? Or Elliot? Or Carla? God, he didn't want to think about it. Too bad he couldn't have stayed in the closet about his wings, too...but those, at least, were impossible to hide, and most people did seem to think he was actually straight, if not very good at it.
"Good." Jordan leaned forward, moving to pull Jack into her lap. They'd needed this--to form a truce between them. As strange as it was, they were all sort of a family now, thrown together by this thing they could not stop, held together by their fear of it. They were small creatures huddled together for protection against a force much too powerful to stop, and they could not afford to fight amongst themselves. Jordan might not like it a lot, but if nothing else, she was smart enough to know when to compromise.
"So can you fly yet?" she asked after a few moments. "I'm betting Jack can't; his wings don't look quite done yet, but yours had better be, or you're not going to be able to walk with them."
JD shrugged. "I haven't really tried," he admitted, pleased beyond measure to be on speaking terms with Jordan, though his head was still spinning over what she'd told him. "I sort of knocked myself on my ass earlier trying to dry them off, though. They're pretty powerful."
Jordan nodded; for a moment they sat in silence, hearing the faint sounds of Perry moving around in the kitchen, presumably storing the rest of their food. Then she suddenly said, "There's a field just down the road--maybe a quarter of a mile away. We've got about two hours of daylight left."
JD raised his eyebrows at her. "Are you suggesting what I think you are?" he asked, incredulous.
She grinned. "You bet your sweet ass I am," she said. "What's the matter? Scared?"
"Yeah, a little," JD replied, his voice even. "Wouldn't you be?"
Jordan paused. "Probably," she admitted after a moment, "but you've still gotta learn. Off your ass, kid, let's go see what those can do."
JD smiled slightly and pulled himself up. "I'll tell Perry to get the first-aid kit together..." He headed downstairs, giving Jordan a moment to herself with Jack.
He paused when he reached the kitchen, feeling himself blush slightly when Perry looked up. "Hey...Jordan said there's a field a little ways away and that I...I oughta try flying before the light goes. We've got about an hour for me to practice, and an hour for you to patch me up after..."
Perry raised his eyebrows. "Do you think you're ready for that?"
JD shrugged. "I don't know how waiting would make it any easier," he said, blushing further under Perry's continued gaze. Christ, it was almost worse, knowing he might actually have a shot at what he'd dreamed about for so long... it certainly made it harder to act normal around the older doctor.
Fortunately, Jordan chose that moment to appear, walking down the stairs with Jack in her arms. "Hey, if he's got them, he might as well learn to use them," she reasoned with a shrug.
Perry snorted at her. "Easy enough for you to say--your neck's not on the line if something goes wrong." His words were said jokingly, but JD could tell from the tension in his jaw that there was some actual worry under them. The thought made him smile, warmth seeping into his heart.
"I'll be okay," he said. "I'll be careful."
Perry looked back at him, then sighed. "All right," he said. He set the last can of peas he was holding into the cabinet and shut the door, lifting the now-empty box and tossing it in the corner with the other empties. "Take us to this field of yours," he told Jordan.
JD tried to swallow down his nervousness, as they got Jack ready and took off. After all, he was built for this now, it couldn't be too hard to figure out...
The field was wide, empty, and the ground look very hard and very frozen. He swallowed hard, looking around him, wondering how he was supposed to take off. Birds just seemed to do it... Should he run first, get some momentum, like a plane? "Should've done more research..." he muttered to himself, looking back at Perry and Jordan. Well, at least if he broke his neck, he wouldn't have to worry about the sex thing...
With that cheerful thought spurring him on, he extended his wings, hearing Jordan's soft gasp as they spread to their full size. Oddly, that made him feel better, and he leaned forward slightly, trying to angle his wings parallel to the ground, and, with a deep breath, flapped hard.
For a second, it seemed like it might work.
He could feel the rush of air beneath him, could feel as his wings propelled him up, feet lifting off the ground. But he was so surprised that it had actually worked that he forgot to flap again, and moments later he came crashing back down, stumbling awkwardly, ending sprawled on his hands and knees.
"JD!" He heard Perry call, and turned to see the older man beginning to move forward. "Are you okay?"
JD nodded. "Nothing wounded but my dignity," he called back, shaking his feathers a little as he rolled his shoulders. He heard Jordan snicker, but ignored her, warmed by the concern in Perry's eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Newbie?" he called. "You don't have to..."
Suddenly, JD felt a stubbornness rise within him. Perry was trying to protect him, he knew--hell, the older man had been doing that since JD'd shown up on his doorstep two nights prior. And much as JD appreciated it, he suddenly found himself wanting to prove he didn't need to be protected. Wanted to show Perry he could do this--to impress him, make him realize that JD wasn't just some helpless kid.
He turned away, closing his eyes and blocking out the self-consciousness he'd felt moments earlier. He forgot that Jordan and Perry stood watching, Jack bouncing between them; forgot everything and focused on the feel of his wings.
He stretched one, then the other, and twitched the long, sinewy tendons he could feel running through the base of the wings out toward the joint where the primary feathers sprouted forth. They moved a little, adjusting to the wind, which he suddenly realized he could feel quite acutely. The drafts and currents which had just been vague sensations before suddenly became rivers of air, flowing as plainly and obviously as though they were actual rivers. He turned slightly, tilting his wings until the draft of one filled them like sails, and smiled.
Perry frowned, watching as JD stood silently, very still. He bit his lip, wanting to move forward, to speak, but Jordan held him back. "Wait," she whispered. She'd seen the change that had come over JD's face, and she wanted to see what it led to.
JD drew a breath. Forward momentum. He wasn't sure if he'd thought the words, spoken them, or if they'd simply appeared in the air, some random firing if memory from an elementary biology class where they'd learned about birds. But he realized he knew exactly what he needed to do.
He opened his eyes, and drew his wings in tight with a snap--then took off running. He heard Perry's startled yell, heard Jordan gasp, but ignored them both, concentrating on the feel of the wind around him. Then, when he was running directly into a slight updraft, he sprang forward, leaping up and out with all his might--then unfurled his wings, and snapped them down.
And then he was in the air, wings moving again and again, pushing him away from the earth until he caught a stronger updraft, and let it fill them, taking him higher. His triumphant whoop was lost in the wind, as he let himself climb still higher, looking down to find he could bring the small figures below him into easy focus. My eyes have changed, too...Dude, no wonder I'm getting headaches. Probably insanely farsighted now...
He shook the thought off, experimenting with what he could do, still not quite believing how easy it was. But whether the Change had gifted him with the knowledge when he'd thought to ask, or if the wings themselves had the instincts and he was no longer fighting them, he seemed to know just when to flap, to bank, to turn. And the freedom of the air was his.
There was one last true test, besides eventually discovering his stamina. He looked down, picking a spot on the ground, then brought his wings in for a shallow dive, unable to stifle the giddy laughter as he swooped toward the earth. He snapped his wings back out to slow himself, feet touching gently down to earth almost exactly where he'd started. He took a few quick steps, back flapping a little to halt his forward momentum, and came to an easy halt a few feet in front of Jordan and Perry.
JD knew the grin on his face was more than a little cocky, but he couldn't help himself. "I think it goes something like that?"
Then he couldn't help but laugh, because the look on Perry and Jordan's faces was just priceless. They both stood agape, eyes wide with disbelief and awe. He moved forward, taking the excitedly giggling Jack from Perry's arms. The infant had been reaching for him, but Perry was still standing in a frozen stupor. Jack giggled when JD tickled him lightly, and waved his hands to the sky. "Up!" he stated, pointing.
"That's right, buddy," he said softly. "Soon I'll teach you to do that, and you and me, we'll both be up there." He lowered his voice to a whisper, hugging Jack close. "There's nothing like it."
"Well, that... that went better than expected," Jordan finally said, moving to retrieve Jack (who had lost interest in JD and was now eyeing the diaper bag that held his formula). "I'd say we can officially mark that as mastered."
"I think so," JD grinned, and turned to Perry. The older man was still staring at him, though he'd closed his mouth, and JD felt himself blushing under the scrutiny he couldn't quite read. As Jordan gave Jack a bottle and they began walking back toward the cabin, Perry still didn't speak, and JD was beginning to wonder if he'd done something wrong. As Jordan walked ahead, he fell back, walking alongside Perry.
"Hey," he finally said, breaking the silence that he was more than ready to label 'uncomfortable.'
Perry looked up at him, and opened his mouth, then shut it again, turning his gaze back to the ground.
JD frowned. "Are you going to talk to me?" he said softly.
Perry kept his eyes fixed on his feet, swallowing hard, but finally spoke. "You... that was pretty damned amazing, Newbie," he finally managed.
"Yeah," JD agreed, trying to push down his disappointment. It couldn't take away the warm feelings of joy and freedom still within him, but it tarnished them. He should've known Perry wouldn't greet him with whoops and laughter of his own, and just a month ago, hearing him say anything about JD was "damned amazing" would've had the younger doctor celebrating for a week, but now... The words sounded forced, and Perry looked more troubled than impressed. JD found himself wishing Perry'd made a joke and called him a girl's name, instead.
He sighed, though, and decided to hell with it. If Perry Cox wasn't going to tell him what was going on, he'd ignore it like the man he was. "Guess the instincts were part of the Change...I just stopped thinking about how to do it, and I did. So we won't have to worry quite so much about Jack, now...I can get him out of here, if I need to."
JD glanced over at Perry, but he still seemed sunk in his own thoughts. Should I ask him? Isn't fair that he gets to make me tell him what's up, and I don't get to do the same...But if I do ask him, he might remember about before, and I don't care what Jordan said, telling him I want to sex him up and be sexed up in return is probably not a good idea.
Shrugging, JD picked up his pace, catching up with Jordan. Their laughter, with Jack's sweet, high tones mixed in, drifted back to Perry as he trailed behind them.
The older man lowered his eyes, staring resolutely at the trail in front of him. The truth was, his own emotions were such a mess right now that he wasn't sure he could sort them, even if he wanted to.
The image of JD, soaring, dipping, spinning through the air in cavorts of unbridled joy... it was forever burned into his mind, and right now, he couldn't stop seeing it. Couldn't stop seeing the way those muscles rippled with every flap, even through the fabric of his shirt, or stop recalling the raw power in the wings that, until now, he'd merely dismissed as a symptom of a troubling new disease. But watching JD whoop and twirl, he couldn't help but think this Change wasn't all bad.
Nothing that made JD look like that could be all bad.
And there was the other part of the problem. The crux of it, actually. As he'd watched JD, as he'd seen him land softly, a grin on his face, still breathless and slightly flushed from exhilaration and exertion, he'd realized something: that while he truly loved Jordan, and would do just about anything for her, he was not truly in love with her.
Rather, he was--had just abruptly fallen--head over heels in love with JD.
And he had no idea what to do about it.
* * *
Next Chapter
* * *
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: R for language, mild sexual situations, and implied m/m attraction
Description: This is a wildly AU story with fantastical elements based on
thuri's Nano writing project. It begins late in season three, before Carla and Turk's wedding, and from there follows the characters as they face the Change, a strange, magical phenomenon that is turning ordinary humans into half-human creatures from fantasy.Chapter listings: Contents Post
JD was almost too nervous to sit still; he was pretty sure if it weren't for Jack he'd be pacing. As it was, he tried to keep his attention focused on the child, grinning at the soft breeze from the child's idly flapping wings. "You're going to learn to fly and walk at the same time, aren't you?" he murmured, grin broadening at Jack's answering giggle. "And drive everyone insane with worry when you do. No hiding the cookies on the top shelf, not for Jack."
It wasn't that much longer, when JD heard footsteps on the stairs, too light to be Perry's. He drew himself up, smile fading in his nervousness, wondering what he should say. He was slightly proud when he didn't jump at the knock on the door, and even more surprised that there'd been a knock at all. He'd half expected Jordan to simply kick the door in. "Yeah?" he said, proud of the way his voice only shook a little.
"JD? It's Jordan. Can I come in?"
"Um...sure." JD offered her a nervous smile, when she opened the door. "Jordan, I'm sorry, I didn't...I swear nothing happened. Even if we hadn't been too tired, both of us injured, Jack there, and if Perry was interested, and I know he's not, I'd never...I'd never do anything to mess things up for you, or for Jack. I swear. I'm sorry enough about all this..."
Jordan lifted an eyebrow, looking mildly amused at JD's babbling. "What exactly do you feel for my ex-husband, JD?" she asked softly when he finally trailed off, folding her arms across her chest.
JD flushed, and looked down, not meeting her eyes. "I..." Fuck it, he had to tell her the truth. Which would be a hell of a lot easier if he was sure what the truth was himself. "It's complicated, and I'm not always sure," he admitted softly. "If things were incredibly different? I might be in love with him. But he's straight, and with you, so he doesn't see me like that...I guess I just count myself lucky to be his friend, and try and deal with the attraction part without letting him see it." He sighed, drawing a hand up through his hair and finally looking up into her face, which was oddly impassive. "I like him, Jordan, and I respect him. And he's important to me. But he's yours, and I'd never...I'd never do anything to fuck that up. Sorry," he added hastily, when her eyes flicked to Jack. "Mess. Mess that up."
Jordan sighed, lowering her arms and moving to sit on the other side of Jack. "JD, Perry and I... we're very different people," she said, one hand stroking through Jack's hair. The child, uninterested, made motorboat noises between them, watching his feet as he waved them in the air. "I don't know why on earth I'm telling you this, but... you should know that there's a part of Perry that is most definitely interested in you."
JD's jaw dropped, and he realized after a moment he was staring at her blankly, and Jack was trying to pull his bottom lip off. "Wait, he...what? He's straight."
"To hell with that--what does that mean, anyway?" Jordan waved her hand dismissively. "He's human, JD. And you're... charming, in your own awkward way."
"Thanks, I think..."
"Shut up. The point is..." she sighed and lowered her eyes. "The point is, JD, that you two are going to be spending a lot of time up here alone together. And while I'd appreciate it if it didn't become a habit... well, I'm not going to rip your throat out if you two... you know."
JD shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if he'd gotten a head injury he hadn't noticed up until now. Because clearly, this couldn't be real. "Did you just give me permission to do your ex-husband? God...I'd have to tell him I wanted to, and he'd probably kill me!" Except if what she'd just said was right, he wouldn't, and...Oh God...
"Look, you're both only human, okay?" she said again, then glanced at JD's wings and lifted an eyebrow. "Well, more or less," she ammended. Then, growing serious again, she reached out and laid a hand over JD's. "I know Perry, and I know you well enough," she said softly. "If you're stuck up here with nothing to do but worry and stew in your own sexual tension, you'll go insane. It would probably happen anyway, eventually, but heaven knows if I leave it off like this Perry will beat himself up until he drives both of us away, and, well...we both need him right now, so we can't have that, can we?" She sighed, looking down at her son; JD, too stunned to respond, could only stare at her. After a long moment of silence, she looked at him again. "Just do me one favor, would you?"
He tilted his head, still not quite sure this was real, but willing to humor the fantasy, if nothing else. "What?"
"Promise me you'll never, ever tell me about it."
"It's a deal," JD replied, shivering a little. "Can't promise you he won't, but I won't say a word. I swear. Ever." To anyone. Because what the hell would Turk say? Or Elliot? Or Carla? God, he didn't want to think about it. Too bad he couldn't have stayed in the closet about his wings, too...but those, at least, were impossible to hide, and most people did seem to think he was actually straight, if not very good at it.
"Good." Jordan leaned forward, moving to pull Jack into her lap. They'd needed this--to form a truce between them. As strange as it was, they were all sort of a family now, thrown together by this thing they could not stop, held together by their fear of it. They were small creatures huddled together for protection against a force much too powerful to stop, and they could not afford to fight amongst themselves. Jordan might not like it a lot, but if nothing else, she was smart enough to know when to compromise.
"So can you fly yet?" she asked after a few moments. "I'm betting Jack can't; his wings don't look quite done yet, but yours had better be, or you're not going to be able to walk with them."
JD shrugged. "I haven't really tried," he admitted, pleased beyond measure to be on speaking terms with Jordan, though his head was still spinning over what she'd told him. "I sort of knocked myself on my ass earlier trying to dry them off, though. They're pretty powerful."
Jordan nodded; for a moment they sat in silence, hearing the faint sounds of Perry moving around in the kitchen, presumably storing the rest of their food. Then she suddenly said, "There's a field just down the road--maybe a quarter of a mile away. We've got about two hours of daylight left."
JD raised his eyebrows at her. "Are you suggesting what I think you are?" he asked, incredulous.
She grinned. "You bet your sweet ass I am," she said. "What's the matter? Scared?"
"Yeah, a little," JD replied, his voice even. "Wouldn't you be?"
Jordan paused. "Probably," she admitted after a moment, "but you've still gotta learn. Off your ass, kid, let's go see what those can do."
JD smiled slightly and pulled himself up. "I'll tell Perry to get the first-aid kit together..." He headed downstairs, giving Jordan a moment to herself with Jack.
He paused when he reached the kitchen, feeling himself blush slightly when Perry looked up. "Hey...Jordan said there's a field a little ways away and that I...I oughta try flying before the light goes. We've got about an hour for me to practice, and an hour for you to patch me up after..."
Perry raised his eyebrows. "Do you think you're ready for that?"
JD shrugged. "I don't know how waiting would make it any easier," he said, blushing further under Perry's continued gaze. Christ, it was almost worse, knowing he might actually have a shot at what he'd dreamed about for so long... it certainly made it harder to act normal around the older doctor.
Fortunately, Jordan chose that moment to appear, walking down the stairs with Jack in her arms. "Hey, if he's got them, he might as well learn to use them," she reasoned with a shrug.
Perry snorted at her. "Easy enough for you to say--your neck's not on the line if something goes wrong." His words were said jokingly, but JD could tell from the tension in his jaw that there was some actual worry under them. The thought made him smile, warmth seeping into his heart.
"I'll be okay," he said. "I'll be careful."
Perry looked back at him, then sighed. "All right," he said. He set the last can of peas he was holding into the cabinet and shut the door, lifting the now-empty box and tossing it in the corner with the other empties. "Take us to this field of yours," he told Jordan.
JD tried to swallow down his nervousness, as they got Jack ready and took off. After all, he was built for this now, it couldn't be too hard to figure out...
The field was wide, empty, and the ground look very hard and very frozen. He swallowed hard, looking around him, wondering how he was supposed to take off. Birds just seemed to do it... Should he run first, get some momentum, like a plane? "Should've done more research..." he muttered to himself, looking back at Perry and Jordan. Well, at least if he broke his neck, he wouldn't have to worry about the sex thing...
With that cheerful thought spurring him on, he extended his wings, hearing Jordan's soft gasp as they spread to their full size. Oddly, that made him feel better, and he leaned forward slightly, trying to angle his wings parallel to the ground, and, with a deep breath, flapped hard.
For a second, it seemed like it might work.
He could feel the rush of air beneath him, could feel as his wings propelled him up, feet lifting off the ground. But he was so surprised that it had actually worked that he forgot to flap again, and moments later he came crashing back down, stumbling awkwardly, ending sprawled on his hands and knees.
"JD!" He heard Perry call, and turned to see the older man beginning to move forward. "Are you okay?"
JD nodded. "Nothing wounded but my dignity," he called back, shaking his feathers a little as he rolled his shoulders. He heard Jordan snicker, but ignored her, warmed by the concern in Perry's eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Newbie?" he called. "You don't have to..."
Suddenly, JD felt a stubbornness rise within him. Perry was trying to protect him, he knew--hell, the older man had been doing that since JD'd shown up on his doorstep two nights prior. And much as JD appreciated it, he suddenly found himself wanting to prove he didn't need to be protected. Wanted to show Perry he could do this--to impress him, make him realize that JD wasn't just some helpless kid.
He turned away, closing his eyes and blocking out the self-consciousness he'd felt moments earlier. He forgot that Jordan and Perry stood watching, Jack bouncing between them; forgot everything and focused on the feel of his wings.
He stretched one, then the other, and twitched the long, sinewy tendons he could feel running through the base of the wings out toward the joint where the primary feathers sprouted forth. They moved a little, adjusting to the wind, which he suddenly realized he could feel quite acutely. The drafts and currents which had just been vague sensations before suddenly became rivers of air, flowing as plainly and obviously as though they were actual rivers. He turned slightly, tilting his wings until the draft of one filled them like sails, and smiled.
Perry frowned, watching as JD stood silently, very still. He bit his lip, wanting to move forward, to speak, but Jordan held him back. "Wait," she whispered. She'd seen the change that had come over JD's face, and she wanted to see what it led to.
JD drew a breath. Forward momentum. He wasn't sure if he'd thought the words, spoken them, or if they'd simply appeared in the air, some random firing if memory from an elementary biology class where they'd learned about birds. But he realized he knew exactly what he needed to do.
He opened his eyes, and drew his wings in tight with a snap--then took off running. He heard Perry's startled yell, heard Jordan gasp, but ignored them both, concentrating on the feel of the wind around him. Then, when he was running directly into a slight updraft, he sprang forward, leaping up and out with all his might--then unfurled his wings, and snapped them down.
And then he was in the air, wings moving again and again, pushing him away from the earth until he caught a stronger updraft, and let it fill them, taking him higher. His triumphant whoop was lost in the wind, as he let himself climb still higher, looking down to find he could bring the small figures below him into easy focus. My eyes have changed, too...Dude, no wonder I'm getting headaches. Probably insanely farsighted now...
He shook the thought off, experimenting with what he could do, still not quite believing how easy it was. But whether the Change had gifted him with the knowledge when he'd thought to ask, or if the wings themselves had the instincts and he was no longer fighting them, he seemed to know just when to flap, to bank, to turn. And the freedom of the air was his.
There was one last true test, besides eventually discovering his stamina. He looked down, picking a spot on the ground, then brought his wings in for a shallow dive, unable to stifle the giddy laughter as he swooped toward the earth. He snapped his wings back out to slow himself, feet touching gently down to earth almost exactly where he'd started. He took a few quick steps, back flapping a little to halt his forward momentum, and came to an easy halt a few feet in front of Jordan and Perry.
JD knew the grin on his face was more than a little cocky, but he couldn't help himself. "I think it goes something like that?"
Then he couldn't help but laugh, because the look on Perry and Jordan's faces was just priceless. They both stood agape, eyes wide with disbelief and awe. He moved forward, taking the excitedly giggling Jack from Perry's arms. The infant had been reaching for him, but Perry was still standing in a frozen stupor. Jack giggled when JD tickled him lightly, and waved his hands to the sky. "Up!" he stated, pointing.
"That's right, buddy," he said softly. "Soon I'll teach you to do that, and you and me, we'll both be up there." He lowered his voice to a whisper, hugging Jack close. "There's nothing like it."
"Well, that... that went better than expected," Jordan finally said, moving to retrieve Jack (who had lost interest in JD and was now eyeing the diaper bag that held his formula). "I'd say we can officially mark that as mastered."
"I think so," JD grinned, and turned to Perry. The older man was still staring at him, though he'd closed his mouth, and JD felt himself blushing under the scrutiny he couldn't quite read. As Jordan gave Jack a bottle and they began walking back toward the cabin, Perry still didn't speak, and JD was beginning to wonder if he'd done something wrong. As Jordan walked ahead, he fell back, walking alongside Perry.
"Hey," he finally said, breaking the silence that he was more than ready to label 'uncomfortable.'
Perry looked up at him, and opened his mouth, then shut it again, turning his gaze back to the ground.
JD frowned. "Are you going to talk to me?" he said softly.
Perry kept his eyes fixed on his feet, swallowing hard, but finally spoke. "You... that was pretty damned amazing, Newbie," he finally managed.
"Yeah," JD agreed, trying to push down his disappointment. It couldn't take away the warm feelings of joy and freedom still within him, but it tarnished them. He should've known Perry wouldn't greet him with whoops and laughter of his own, and just a month ago, hearing him say anything about JD was "damned amazing" would've had the younger doctor celebrating for a week, but now... The words sounded forced, and Perry looked more troubled than impressed. JD found himself wishing Perry'd made a joke and called him a girl's name, instead.
He sighed, though, and decided to hell with it. If Perry Cox wasn't going to tell him what was going on, he'd ignore it like the man he was. "Guess the instincts were part of the Change...I just stopped thinking about how to do it, and I did. So we won't have to worry quite so much about Jack, now...I can get him out of here, if I need to."
JD glanced over at Perry, but he still seemed sunk in his own thoughts. Should I ask him? Isn't fair that he gets to make me tell him what's up, and I don't get to do the same...But if I do ask him, he might remember about before, and I don't care what Jordan said, telling him I want to sex him up and be sexed up in return is probably not a good idea.
Shrugging, JD picked up his pace, catching up with Jordan. Their laughter, with Jack's sweet, high tones mixed in, drifted back to Perry as he trailed behind them.
The older man lowered his eyes, staring resolutely at the trail in front of him. The truth was, his own emotions were such a mess right now that he wasn't sure he could sort them, even if he wanted to.
The image of JD, soaring, dipping, spinning through the air in cavorts of unbridled joy... it was forever burned into his mind, and right now, he couldn't stop seeing it. Couldn't stop seeing the way those muscles rippled with every flap, even through the fabric of his shirt, or stop recalling the raw power in the wings that, until now, he'd merely dismissed as a symptom of a troubling new disease. But watching JD whoop and twirl, he couldn't help but think this Change wasn't all bad.
Nothing that made JD look like that could be all bad.
And there was the other part of the problem. The crux of it, actually. As he'd watched JD, as he'd seen him land softly, a grin on his face, still breathless and slightly flushed from exhilaration and exertion, he'd realized something: that while he truly loved Jordan, and would do just about anything for her, he was not truly in love with her.
Rather, he was--had just abruptly fallen--head over heels in love with JD.
And he had no idea what to do about it.
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Date: 26 Dec 2006 18:40 (UTC)