Changeling: Chapter 17

[randomweaving]

Fic: Changeling
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: PG-13 for language and description of medical procedures
Description: This is a wildly AU story with fantastical elements based on thuri's Nano writing project. It begins late in season three, before Carla and Turk's wedding, and from there follows the characters as they face the Change, a strange, magical phenomenon that is turning ordinary humans into half-human creatures from fantasy.

Chapter listings: Contents Post



JD didn't sleep much. Not that Perry was restless; quite the opposite. But JD couldn't stop himself from watching him, checking on him, talking to him. And the next day was much the same.

He was grateful, more than once, that Danni was there. She made no mention of leaving, just took care of Jack, bringing him in a time or two to play next to Perry, both of them hoping it would remind him, in some way, what he had to stay for. JD found himself hoping desperately that Perry would wake up sooner rather than later, even as his rational mind told him not to worry so much. The older man wouldn't even be off the Ativan for another day, so no change was good news.

But his rational mind had little impact on his emotional state, and he found himself grateful when Carla called that afternoon, even if he didn't have much news for her. They talked for a long time, and then he spoke just as long with Turk and Elliot, and that wasted a few hours. He tried to read, but couldn't concentrate. And research online just depressed him. There had been no documented survivors of rejection as of yet, and reading about that made him want to scream, or throw the laptop through the window—neither of which would be terribly productive—so he closed the machine and vowed to ignore it until Perry woke up again, and they could start rewriting the headlines.

It would've been bad enough back at the hospital, only having one patient. Having only one patient here, and having that patient be Perry... JD was going slowly mad with the agony of waiting. And wondered again how his friends had felt, the week he'd disappeared.

Danni had left, though, the morning of the third day. "Jordan's walking is getting pretty bad," she explained, reading the regret clearly in JD's eyes. "I left her with a lot of food, but I don't want to leave her too long. And I don’t really want to push my own luck. It’s a long drive."

JD sighed, nodding his understanding. "Thanks, Danni," he said softly, hugging her tight. "For everything."

"You're welcome," she replied, pulling away and wiping at her eyes. "JD--take care of our boys for us, okay?"

"Always," JD promised, smiling even as tears stung his own eyes.

Then she was gone, brake lights vanishing in the ever-steady swirl of snow as she made her way back down the mountain. JD watched her go, feeling an aching loneliness welling within him already. Even though he'd spent most of the last few days glued to Perry’s side, it had been an enormous comfort to know there was someone else in the house he could talk to--another functioning adult.

You're taking Perry off the sedatives today, he reminded himself. Maybe he'll wake up.

But he didn't. All throughout the day, JD kept a close eye on Perry's vitals, and though they did not get any worse, Perry did not stir.

JD had to fight back tears of bitter disappointment. He's alive, he reminded himself. Damn it, that's a good sign, at least. Keep it together, Dorian--keep it together, man.

But when he put Jack down for the night and crawled into his accustomed spot next to Perry in the large bed, he broke down, wings quivering as he quietly wept.

* * *

It was late--or early, JD supposed, depending on how you looked at it--when he suddenly awoke. He blinked, shaking his head, and pushing himself up with a frown. He glanced at the clock—four am—then wondered absently why he even bothered anymore. The last four days had been such a blur, his schedule so disjointed, that time had ceased to have much meaning for him. The only reason he knew four days had passed since Danni left (rather than four years, as it seemed to him) was because of Carla’s daily calls. He also rather suspected they, and Jack, were the only things keeping him on the thin edge of sanity.

He automatically looked at the baby monitor on the bed stand, because he'd been pretty sure he'd been awoken by a noise. But the monitor was silent.

And the noise he heard next was definitely not Jack.

Perry moaned again, and as JD watched with widening eyes, the older man's eyelids fluttered a little.

"Perry?" JD's voice was a hoarse whisper, and he cleared his throat, automatically reaching to check the older man's pulse. Stronger than it had been, and faster. "Perry, I'm here," he murmured, reaching out to stroke the older man’s cheek. “I’m here… can you open your eyes for me?”

Perry’s brow furrowed, and he moaned softly once more, head turning slightly toward JD.

JD felt a wobbly smile creep onto his face, and he blinked rapidly against the tears that once more stung his eyes. “That’s right,” he whispered. “Open your eyes, Perry.”

Perry felt as though he was pulling himself up through a pit of tar. The blackness that had surrounded him, deafened him for so long was finally breaking apart, but it was slow--his brain did not want to adjust itself to consciousness, and it kept trying to drag him back down again, insisting the blackness was less work, and therefore preferable.

But something was pulling him inexorably forward, tugging at him, insisting he respond, and he found himself inexplicably keen to obey.

As he neared consciousness, he realized there were actually two things demanding his awareness: one was the soft, tremulous sound of JD's voice, calling his name; the other was the awkward feeling of something poking at his back.

At JD's gentle urging, and the soft touch to his cheek, Perry slowly, agonizingly, opened his eyes to find JD's face inches from his, wide blue eyes brimming with tears, and a gigantic if trembling grin plastered across his face.

"Hey," JD breathed, feeling something within him relax. People who died of rejection didn’t wake up. And Perry's need for rejection would disappear, or at least, it should, now that JD could tell him what his Change really was. "About time you woke up, you've been waited on hand and foot long enough..." But his tears spilled over even as he teased, and he had to wipe his face.

Perry squinted at him. "What?" he croaked. Then coughed, realizing there was a tube running down the back of his throat, taped to his nose.

A kio feed? What the hell...?

“You’ve been unconscious for almost a week,” JD informed him, voice only shaking a little bit. “I had to put you on tube feeding to keep you from starving during your change. You’ve been going through about fifteen cans of glucerna a day. Didn’t realize you liked it that much.” That’s it, JD—keep it light. You can do this…

“How…why?” Perry managed, casting his mind back over the last few days, rather alarmed when he couldn’t remember anything after driving back to the cabin. “When…?”

JD giggled. “In that order?” he teased gently. When Perry quirked an eyebrow at him, JD shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding it. “But from my side of things, this is a huge improvement. I was starting to think you’d never wake up…” he choked a little, then shook his head, shoving his emotions back. There’d be time to deal with that later.

“You've been out for over a week,” he continued. “You were chopping wood, and just...I guess you just passed out."

“Passed out…?” Perry frowned. “From what?”

JD was silent for a moment, studying Perry’s face; he reached up with a trembling hand and lay his fingertips along Perry’s cheek. “You went into rejection,” he said, very quietly.

Perry's eyes widened, and he tried to look at his legs, but he was covered in a blanket. He moved them, though with some difficulty, and discovered with relief he apparently still had two of them. He turned to look at JD and raised his eyebrows. “Did it stop the Change…?”

JD grinned, and shook his head. “No,” he said. “You're not getting a tail. You're getting wings.”

Perry felt a slow grin spread across his face in answer. “I… I am?” he whispered. “Wings?”

“Yeah,” JD responded, giddy laughter bubbling up in his chest. “So damned if I know what the scales are about...You can't do anything the normal way, can you?"

Perry chuckled, and felt tears spring to his eyes; he closed them, bringing his hand to cover his face for a moment. Wings. God.

And he knew JD was right, too--he could feel them, strange jointed nubs protruding from his shoulder blades, lying flat along his back, making it feel like he was sleeping on thin sticks. Oddly spongy sticks—it wasn’t uncomfortable, though it certainly was strange as hell—but he decided he could care less. Wings.

I'm staying here. I'm staying here.

"You're not going anywhere, now," JD said, unconsciously echoing his thoughts. "Guess we'll both be teaching Jack to fly."

And with that, Perry’s tears finally spilled over, slipping hot down his cheeks. He pulled his hand away and looked up into JD's face, laughing. “No,” he agreed. “I guess you’re stuck with me.”
He then opened his arms.

JD nestled into them instantly, gathering Perry close, a few tears of his own slipping free. But they ended quickly, now that Perry was awake, and he felt himself relaxing again. He pulled away after a few minutes, and kissed Perry softly, smiling down at him. "How awake are you? I could go ahead and disconnect...well, everything, but if you want to sleep a bit more before going through all that, I wouldn't blame you."

Perry grimaced. “From the sound of things, I’ve been sleeping long enough,” he said. “Get these things out of me.”

JD giggled, but nodded, and set about getting Perry free from the Kio feed. The pump had finished its last cycle, and JD hadn’t refilled it yet, so they didn’t have to wait; he disconnected the tubing from the pump first, then moved forward. “Okay,” he said softly. “Ready?”

Perry nodded. “Let’s do this,” he muttered.

JD smiled, and untapped the tubing, then pulled it free. Perry coughed a little as it cleared his throat, wrinkling his nose against the lingering burn.

"You know,” JD said as he lay the tubing aside. “I know I said I missed working, but I really could've waited to have a patient. You didn't have to do all this just for me..."

Perry snorted. "You know me," he said, lifting one eyebrow. "I'm a giver."

JD grinned, nearly bouncing as he settled back down beside Perry, and nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks, I think.” He shook his head. “God, Perry, I..." He paused, and blushed. "I love you."

Perry raised his eyebrows. "I love you, too," he said noting JD's giddy demeanor that was just barely masking the trembling exhaustion in his limbs. He also took in the dark circles beneath his eyes, the tight lines of tension around his mouth that were just now beginning to ease, and the flat dull look of his hair. "Had you worried, did I?" he said softly, seeing no other reason for JD's sudden declaration of what they both already knew to be true. It was as though the kid had been waiting to say it.

JD nodded, biting the inside of his bottom lip. "Just a little,” he said. “I thought...I didn't know if you were going to make it. I called Jordan, and Kelso, and Danni came out with everything, but still...I took you off the sedative after two days and nothing changed. I wasn't sure...I just wasn't sure."

Perry's eyebrows rose even further. "You called Kelso?" he said, incredulous. Then: "And Danni was here?" He shook his head. Lord, how much had he missed?

A lot, apparently--the haunted look in JD's eyes was enough to tell him that. He sighed. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't... I didn't mean to--I just... Well, I thought I was going to lose you and Jack, and I guess that constituted a negative enough attitude that my body resisted the Change, when it started." He drew a breath. "But it looks like you found an effective way to get people through it, huh? Sedate the hell out of them and keep them fed?"

JD nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Carla told me Laverne said they're using it at Sacred Heart, now, and spreading the word. It seems to be working, in a lot of cases..." He sighed, settling back down by Perry, slipping a hand behind his back to massage at the base of the wing buds. Which were hardly buds, now, as much as they'd grown...he’d have to get a better look at them later, when Perry was up and around. "And yeah, I called Kelso. Needed to get someone to okay everything I needed for you... From the things he made me promise, in return, I think I still have a job."

Perry's eyebrows drew together. "Did you mention your Change?" He shrugged his shoulders, shivering slightly at the odd sensation of JD's touch on his own sprouting wings.

"Yeah,” JD replied. “But since half the staff's out right now, and only one guess why...I don't think it's going to be much of an issue. Unless he's going to fire you, me, Carla, Elliot, Turk, the Todd, Ted, Mickhead--though I wouldn't argue that one--and the few others I've heard of for sure." He shrugged, still running his fingers lightly over Perry's wings.

"Mmm." Perry frowned, taking in this new information. “Guess we can rule out isolated incident for this thing, huh?”

“Yeah,” JD replied, but he was clearly distracted, still tracing Perry’s wings. “Hey, do you think you can roll on your side?” he asked suddenly. “I want to get a look at these things.”

Perry shrugged, rolling away from JD and glancing over his shoulder. He watched the young man's face, which was drawn in concentration, and winced. "What?" he said, trying to sound joking but actually feeling a little nervous. "Am I growing mutant wings or something?"

"Technically, I think we both are,” JD reminded him, smirking. “But yours are just...new. I haven't seen anything like them.”

His face grew serious again, head tilting as he studied the sprouting wings. They consisted, so far, of about a foot of some kind of spongy bone or cartilage—JD couldn’t tell—which was covered in a layer of leathery hide. This was lined along the topside with scales that matched those on Perry’s forearms. The bone, or whatever it was, was jointed at the end, bent at an angle, with another protrusion curved back toward Perry’s back about six or seven inches. JD rotated it experimentally and found it moved similarly to a wrist. Extending from the tip to halfway down Perry’s back was a thin, stretchy layer of some sort of membrane. The whole picture, though incomplete, was oddly familiar to JD; he found himself thinking of when he’d seen Dragonheart a few years ago. “They look...kind of bat-like,” he said finally, “but that wouldn't explain the scales..." JD frowned, then shrugged again. "Maybe they're dragon wings. It makes as much sense as anything."

Perry lifted one eyebrow, glancing over his shoulder, though he couldn't get a clear view of his growing wings. "Possible," he said with a shrug. "Would fit my personality, wouldn't you say?" He winked at JD.

JD laughed, and if it was a bit shriller than it should've been, well, he'd had a hard few days. "Yeah, I guess so...They look good, though. Different, but good."

Perry grimaced. "How can you tell?" he asked. "They're stubs." But then he smiled, the sheer relief that he was growing wings--wings, not a tail--flowing over him. Honestly, he wouldn't care if they turned out to be the ugliest things in creation, or if he never learned to use them--no matter what, he was staying, and right now that's all he cared about.

"They're straight, the skin covering them is healthy looking, and you're...well, you're moving them a little. Those are all good signs." JD shrugged, sitting back again. "Rejection can affect those kinds of things. I've been doing a lot of research," he added, blushing when Perry looked at him oddly.

Perry smiled softly--that was just like JD. He recalled the time he'd insisted on letting JD stew, wondering why it was that his patient--who'd had the same disease and many of the same physical characteristics as Perry's--had died, while Perry's had lived. It had only been after he discovered JD in the break room hours after his shift had ended, pouring over books and staring dismally at his laptop, that he’d finally relented. The kid was nothing if not dedicated, and Perry knew the fact that it was him had played no small part in JD's relentless search. "Thanks," he said softly, taking JD's hand in his and giving it a brief squeeze.

Then, his own medical curiosity awoken, he mused, "Maybe the wings are growing fine because I wasn't actively rejecting them--I was rejecting the idea of a tail. Frankly, had I expected wings from the start, I'd've celebrated them when they started growing."

JD squeezed his fingers in return, then nodded. "That could have a lot to do with it...Wish we all knew more about this thing. But at least you're okay. I can get some sleep now,” he added ruefully.

Perry nodded. "You don't look like you've gotten much of that," he agreed softly. He glanced at the clock--just a little after five. Jack should stay asleep at least until seven or eight, if tradition held--maybe even longer, if they were lucky. Perry slid back down on the mattress, adjusting his wings so they lay flat along his back in the least obtrusive way possible, then tugged JD's arm. "Get down here, Birdboy," he said softly.

JD smiled and went, snuggling close. He draped one wing across them both, and giggled as he settled himself. "We're going to have to figure out how to do this all over again, when those get big enough to lift you..." He wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or relief that had him slightly giddy, but either way he was going with it for now.

"We'll manage," Perry huffed, drawing JD in close. "There's no way in hell I'm giving this up."

JD grinned, and pressed a kiss against his chest. "Me neither," he murmured around a yawn. "M'so glad you're awake..." But it was obvious he wasn't going to be, not for much longer.

Perry smiled, and kissed the top of JD's head. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Me too. Now get some sleep, JD--we'll figure this out later."

JD was way ahead of him.

* * *

The sound of Jack's crying woke JD, some time later, and he automatically rolled out of bed, scrubbing at his face, to check on the boy. A bit later, he came back in, a freshly changed Jack in his arms, happily sucking down his breakfast. JD settled himself back on the bed once more, watching Perry sleep. It was a lighter sleep, now, and he rested easily in the knowledge that he could wake the older man from it if he wanted to.

But for just that moment, he didn't feel the need. It was enough to know it wouldn't be long. Instead, he held Jack and spoke softly to him, smiling at the sight of sun on the snow outside. A break in the storm at last...

Beside him, unnoticed, Perry stirred, and opened his eyes slowly.

The sight that greeted him made it momentarily difficult to breathe. JD was sitting cross-legged on the bed beside him. Jack lay in his arms, suckling at a bottle of formula, eyes half closed in peaceful content and perfect trust. As Perry watched, Jack wriggled, trying to snuggle closer to JD; the young doctor adjusted his hold and made a soft, soothing noise in his throat, and Jack settled once more. JD himself was gazing out the window, the morning sun reflecting on his face and making it seem to glow. His expression spoke of a gentle happiness, and a tranquility that made him look almost holy--an effect enhanced by the wings held lifted and half unfurled. Perry knew it was simply to keep the long primary feathers from being bent against the mattress, but with the brilliantly reflected sunlight glinting on the shining black feathers, the gesture felt more powerful than that, as if JD were some sort of angelic sentry sent to guard them from the pain and horror of the world around them. And in a way, he had, hadn't he? There was no denying he had saved Perry's life, and it was quite possible his knowledge had saved Jack's as well. If nothing else, the young man had clearly been caring for his—their—son, while Perry had been unconscious this past week, and the ease with which Jack lay curled in his arms spoke plenty to the child’s attachment to the young man.

As he gazed surreptitiously up at him, Perry felt a lump of gratitude swell in his throat. Who would have thought that less than three years ago, he'd seen JD as nothing more than another pain-in-the-ass intern--someone to put up with while he had to, but to shove out of his life as quickly as he possibly could? An annoyance, at best; a nuisance at worst—a burden?

He almost chuckled at the ludicrousness of the thought; it did bring a small, disbelieving smile to his face. He'd been wrong about things before, of course, but never more wrong than he'd been, that first time he saw JD and wrote him off as another nameless, faceless person who would pass quickly out of his life.

This is mine. The thought filtered slowly into Perry's consciousness, as he lay absorbing sight before him. This is my family, now--this is my life.

He knew it to be truer than any such thought he'd ever had before; all previous illusions of home fractured and faded and finally dissolved in the brilliance of the light that shone in JD's eyes, on Jack's face. He also knew, with a sudden and fierce love that startled him in its intensity, that he would die for them, instantly and without hesitation.

Sparing a moment to hope he would never have to, Perry shook himself from the strange, somber mood that had overtaken him, and reached out to settle a hand over JD's knee. "Hey," he said softly. "Good morning." JD looked over at him, soft smile turning into the familiar grin, and Perry mirrored it, feeling the surreal glow that had overcome the moment dissolve into their equally-surreal reality.

"Morning," JD replied, shifting Jack enough to lay his hand over Perry's and squeeze it gently, looking down at his lover—partner…? Yeah, I'll have to ask him what we're calling each other at some point... His whatever, then. Perry looked rested, and...happy. JD realized he could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d seen a smile that real on the older man’s face. "How're you feeling?"

"Never better," Perry responded, shifting to sit up. JD scooted closer, and Perry turned to sit next to him, smiling when JD draped a wing over his shoulders and leaned against him. He wrapped an arm around the younger man's waist before turning his attention toward the window, to see what had JD so enthralled.

The freshly-fallen snow made a thick blanket that seemed to muffle the world; only the faintest hint of green could be glimpsed through the thickly-laden boughs of the trees. There was a stillness in the air, a frozen quality that, though eerie, filled Perry with a strange sort of peace, as though they were the only three people left in the world. Civilization, and their lives before this, were only distant memories; it seemed there had only ever been this: these mountains, these trees, this man beside him, this child in his arms. They had all they needed right here.

He knew it was nothing more than a romantic illusion, most likely brought about by the lingering effects of his prolonged unconsciousness; the world waited, still, beyond the mountains and the snow, and eventually he and JD would have to find a way to return to it.

But for now, he decided, he was going to enjoy this for as long as he could. Reality could wait.

A sudden movement from the lawn caught his eye; he frowned, looking down toward the clearing that sloped toward the shed and the forest beyond--then drew a sharp breath, eyes widening.

"JD," he breathed, as a flash of silvery white resolved itself against the snow.

"I see it," JD whispered back, looking just as enthralled, and equally frozen, as though any sudden movement or loud noise would shatter the moment.

They watched as the beautiful, impossible creature darted in and out of the trees, never quite coming into plain sight; snow flew up beneath its hooves in a playful flurry, and there was a crystal chime in the air as it tossed its head back and whickered.

Perry swallowed. "Is that...?"

"Well, Jack's the only virgin in the room, but...yeah, I'd say that's a unicorn,” JD chuckled, shaking his head slowly. Why the hell not? “Sure looks like one, anyway..." he wriggled a little, glancing at Perry and grinning. "Guess the rumors of mythical creatures returning were true. God, she's beautiful..." He watched as the delicate creature moved on, playing a game of shadow tag with the trees, weaving in and out of the trunks, a creature of pure fantasy, pure beauty. Pure purity, too, he supposed, with a soft smile.

The unicorn, if it was in fact a unicorn—and JD didn’t see how it couldn’t be—didn’t linger long, but vanished into the forest, an echoing whinny lingering through the bitter chill. JD held his breath, almost afraid to move, holding onto the sound as long as he could; the moment stretched, long and golden, and with it, strange awareness JD couldn’t explain began to rise in him, of light, and colors, and the faint music of many voices all rising together as one…

Then the moment was abruptly broken by a sudden loud growling. Perry's stomach.

JD barely bit back his helpless giggles, the strange feeling that had overcome him moments before slipping away like the memory of a dream. "Hungry?" he asked innocently.

Perry grimaced, looking sheepish. "Yeah," he admitted, rolling his eyes and glancing sidelong at JD. "I guess this is where I get my own back, huh?"

JD nodded. "Yup," he agreed. "The next few weeks will mostly consist of eating and sleeping for you, I'm afraid."

Perry lifted an eyebrow, lowering his head demurely. "Just sleeping, Newbie?" he murmured, leaning forward to trace the soft curve of JD's ear with his tongue.

JD's eyelids fluttered shut and he groaned softly, wishing for a moment that Jack were still in the other room. "Maybe not just sleeping,” he amended, a little breathless. “But plenty of time in bed. Doctor's orders," he added, pulling himself back together. It took a few moments, and a long kiss, but finally he broke away again, when Jack squirmed impatiently.

JD laughed, looking down at Jack, who was bouncing a little in his arms, reaching for Perry. "Someone missed his daddy,” he said, smiling as he deposited Jack gently in Perry’s arms. “I'll get something ready for you and bring it up.” He scrambled up, moving easily around the bulk of his wings, graceful and natural—an effect that was a bit ruined when he almost tripped over a blanket. Perry hid his chuckle, watching as JD shrugged sheepishly then recovered himself, and headed downstairs humming contentedly.

Perry shook his head, adjusting Jack in his arms, then turned back toward the window. The strange creature (Perry couldn’t bring himself to say ‘unicorn,’ even silently) had vanished, leaving snow-covered silence in her wake. Perry looked down at Jack, who had finished his formula and was drowsing contentedly against his chest, then turned his gaze out the window, listening to JD humming in the kitchen.

* * *
Next Chapter
* * *

Comments

[randomslasher.livejournal.com]

Who said that used to be a person?

[epiks13.livejournal.com]

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that is all