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randomweavingFic: Changeling
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: PG-13 for language and description of medical techniques
Description: This is a wildly AU story with fantastical elements based on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thuri's Nano writing project. It begins late in season three, before Carla and Turk's wedding, and from there follows the characters as they face the Change, a strange, magical phenomenon that is turning ordinary humans into half-human creatures from fantasy.
Chapter listings: Contents Post
Author's note:randomslasher has no power, thanks to the ice storms in the Midwest, and we're not sure when she'll get it back. I, thuri, have a party to go to tonight that might keep me past 10pm my time. So you get your part now! We're hoping she'll get power back in time for us to finish editing Chapter 17 for Wednesday, but I'm warning everyone now that it may be slightly delayed. Keep your fingers crossed for her lights!
JD fed Jack and got him changed before settling in the den to play with him. He could dimly hear the sound of Perry's axe, and the sound was comforting. Again, he let himself dream this could last forever, that Perry's Change wouldn't soon separate them...
And maybe it would turn out to be true. Maybe his Change was something different. JD hadn't found a single mer case that spoke of scales as developed as Perry’s with no accompanying hip displacement or walking difficulties, yet so far Perry had none. Same with the nagas. Perry’s legs weren't Changing, there were no scales developing on his thighs, no evidence of altered vision due to the waterproof film the Mers developed, no new sensitivity to heat like the nagas...in fact, Perry’s Change didn’t imitate anything JD could find existing reports of. Maybe it was something else. Something new.
Cherishing his delusions, for a time JD lost himself in playing with Jack. Eventually, however, he realized he hadn't heard the sound of Perry's axe in some time.
He frowned, walking to the door and looking out, but couldn't see past the shed. "Now what's your daddy up to?" he asked Jack, returning to pick him up and settle him in his playpen before picking up his tennis shoes and sliding them on. His jacket he pulled on backwards, not wanting to deal with getting it around his wings, and told Jack to be good before he opened the door and headed outside.
It was bitterly cold, though not as bad as it had been the night prior. Still, JD didn’t dawdle to admire the frozen beauty of the mountain landscape, hurrying forward, feet crunching through the top layer of snow and making him a little awkward. Sparing a moment to wish his shoulder were healed enough to just let him fly out to the shed, he called, “Perry? Is everything okay? I didn’t…”
He rounded the corner of the shed, then stopped in his tracks, words dying on his lips. Then, with a cry, he lunged forward, dropping to his knees next to Perry, who lay facedown in the snow, apparently completely unconscious.
“Perry,” he gasped, pulling the older man over onto his back. “Perry, wake up! Can you hear me?”
Nothing.
"Fuck..." JD sat back, mind flashing back to the moment the SUV had gone off the road, and shivered hard. But this was worse; there was no apparent cause...and a cursory examination showed no apparent distress, either. Perry was breathing, he had a pulse; he simply wasn't awake. And wasn't responding, either, no matter what JD tried.
Think, Dorian, don't panic. Get him inside, get him warm...then figure out what the fucking hell is going on...
He shrugged himself out of his coat and draped it over Perry, then sat back, biting his lip. Lifting the other man was going to be a bit of a problem... He could roll him onto the wood sling and slide him over the snow easily enough, but once they were inside...He wasn't sure he could get him up the stairs. Unless... he frowned suddenly, looking down at his arms, his chest, flexing experimentally.
He almost grinned. Duh. You are an idiot, JD. Did you forget you actually have muscles now?
He grabbed the sling, unrolling the fabric and laying it next to Perry before moving around in front of him. Then, carefully, he took the older doctor under the arms and half-lifted him so the majority of his weight was supported by the sling. His legs would drag in the snow, but that was the least of JD’s worries. He glanced toward the cabin, thinking with some chagrin that the distance had seemed a lot shorter on the way out here, then began to pull.
It took nearly an hour, but his newly acquired strength proved to be enough. Barely. Getting Perry over the threshold of the sliding door proved to be a little trickier, but he managed it, and got the older man settled on the carpet in front of the fireplace, sparing a moment to be grateful the Sullivans had gone with carpet and not hardwood flooring.
Deciding to tackle the stairs later, JD tugged Perry’s soaked outer garments off, checking his vitals. Heart rate slow, but strong, breathing normal, sheathed in sweat... shit. "Why couldn't you have cut yourself or something?" JD murmured, biting his lip again. He'd done enough research to recognize the first stages of rejection.
He sat back, trying to catch his breath, and trying desperately not to panic. Everything he’d read about rejection called it fatal. There’d been no documented cases of anyone surviving. But most of the patients who died were only discovered afterwards; none had actively sought treatment. And most of the initial autopsy reports listed cause of death as heart failure or malnutrition.
Which meant, most likely, they either died of pure fright at what was happening to their bodies—or starved to death because they were unconscious.
Well. Perry unconscious certainly couldn’t die of fright, as long as JD kept him that way. And as for keeping his body fed…well, there were ways to do that, too, if he could arrange to have them brought out here.
First things first, then. Get him upstairs, get him into dry clothing, keep him sedated, and somehow get IV nutrition from the hospital. Sure. Easy.
Right.
Act now, Dorian, he told himself firmly. Panic later.
* * *
JD wasn't sure, later, how he got Perry upstairs, but he managed it.
He half-carried, half dragged the older man up the stairs, wishing his wings weren’t impeding him from simply slinging the heavy man over his back, and staggered into the master bedroom, lowering Perry onto the mattress as carefully as he could. Once there, he knelt, breathing heavily, and decided the next thing to do would be get both he and Perry out of their sweat-drenched clothing.
He changed himself first, shrugging out of his t-shirt and drying himself with a towel before pulling on a new one, then moved forward to tend to Perry. In the end, he decided the only reasonable thing to do would be to cut the t-shirt off of him; this he did with utmost care, watching the older man for any signs of stirring. The last thing he needed was to jab a pair of scissors into the older man’s chest, should Perry wake suddenly and begin flailing.
But Perry remained unconscious, and JD finished his task in disappointed silence.
It wasn't until he rolled the older man onto his side to cut along the back that he noticed something that made his breath catch in his throat, eyes going impossibly wide.
He swallowed, and reached out with shaking hands to lift the cut fabric away from Perry’s shoulders.
“Oh, my God…” he breathed, a tearful smile creeping onto his face as he reached out and traced the protrusions sprouting from Perry’s back, just above the shoulder blades. They were about four inches long, maybe five inches in diameter, conical—and surrounded at the base with a layer of silvery red scales.
"Wing buds,” he breathed aloud, a few tears slipping free. “Holy crap. Oh, Perry… You're not going mer, you're growing wings.” He laughed, a choked sound that was also half a sob, and lowered the older doctor onto his back once more before moving forward and wrapped his arms around his waist, letting his head rest on his shoulder for a moment. “I don't know what you're Changing into,” he murmured against the skin of the other man's chest, “but wings... wings means you're staying right here."
Feeling a good deal better, if still scared, he finished getting Perry settled and grabbed the phone, calling the one person with enough influence to get them out of this.
It rang once before a bemused voice answered. “Hello?”
"Jordan?” JD said, gripping the phone tighter. “It's JD."
"JD?" Jordan sounded more than a little surprised. "What’s wrong? Is Jack…?"
JD rubbed his forehead, looking over at the bed, and Perry's pale, drawn form. "Jack's fine. He's learned how to put his wings away, and keeps popping them out and giggling. But Jordan...you knew Perry started Changing, right?"
She sighed. “Yeah, he called me,” she said. “DJ, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be,” JD said. “At least not for that reason. He’s not going Mer, Jordan.” Despite the circumstances, the words still brought a giddy sort of happiness to him, tempered with fear and worry though it was.
“What?” Jordan sounded startled. “But he—he was growing scales, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah,” JD said, moving forward and kneeling on the bed next to his lover, stroking one of his forearms lightly. “He is, but I just...I just found wing buds.”
There was a pause, then Jordan said, “Well, I guess that explains where Jack got them. What is he, some kind of dragon or something?”
JD shook his head. “I have no idea,” he said, grinning despite himself. “But I don’t care. He’s staying here.”
Jordan actually laughed, relief and happiness evident in her voice. “That’s great,” she said softly. “Jack will have his Daddy, at least, even if Mommy can’t stick around.”
JD frowned, noting the sudden dip in tone. “So you’re… you’re going to the sea, then?” he said softly. “When you’re done?”
“I think so,” she replied. “I just… I don’t know, but… it seems like that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.” She paused for a moment, and JD dithered, wanting to comfort her but knowing Perry needed help, but then she spoke again. “So why are you calling me? Is Perry around?”
JD sighed. “He’s right here,” he said softly. “But Jordan… the Change, it…it's not going easily for him. I think he’s going into Rejection.”
There was a long pause. “How do you know?” she finally said, voice slightly choked.
“He’s unconscious,” JD murmured, biting his lip and swallowing before continuing. “I can’t get him to respond to noxious or tactile stimuli, and when I found him he was all over in sweat even though he was out in the snow.”
She swore lightly, then said, “Okay. You called me to do more than bellyache, I assume, so what can I do?”
JD smiled tremulously, thinking he was glad to have Jordan as an ally right now. “I need you to get something for me from the hospital,” he said. “Actually… several things.”
"Just tell me what."
He slumped a little in relief, knowing that when Jordan used that tone of voice, there’d be nothing that would stop her from getting everything he needed. He glanced at Perry again, then said, "Okay… first things first, I need to keep him fed. He’ll starve before he finishes the Change, but I can’t get enough food in him through reflex swallowing alone, so I guess we need to start him on tube feeding. Get a hold of someone at the hospital, and tell them I need a set up for a kio feed, pump and all. And as many cases of Glucerna as you can possibly track down."
He thought a moment longer. Maybe keeping him slightly sedated would help...he'd certainly read about people in rejection having horrific night terrors. "Actually, I'm going to need a plumb pump too,” he said. “With IV Ativan—so an IV starter kit, too. And a catheter might be a good idea, I guess, since we’re going to be feeding him…so gloves, too, and iodine, and maybe a few packages of chuck pads…"
"Hey, DJ, I'm not your intern! Slow down," Jordan snapped, pulling him from his thoughts. He blushed and repeated the list, spelling a few things for her.
"All right," she said at last. "I'll do what I can. Danni can drive out, and get everything to you. But you should probably call Kelso yourself. It's going to take more than me to make this work." She hesitated for a moment. "And JD?"
"Yeah, Jordan?"
"Take care of our boys for me?"
JD smiled slightly. "I promise."
* * *
Calling Kelso had taken more nerve than JD had known himself to possess.
He drew a deep breath as the hospital operator patched him through to the Chief of Medicine's office, almost hoping he wouldn't pick up.
He did, though, after the third ring.
"Bob Kelso, and so help me if this is someone else calling in sick, I'm going to slow roast you and serve you at the next company picnic."
JD winced. "Uh... sir, this is JD."
"Who?"
"Dr. Dorian," JD corrected himself quickly, flushed.
There was a very long pause, and JD heard some shuffling of papers. "Aren't you the missing guy?" Kelso finally growled.
"Ah... yes, sir, I believe that was the last you heard," JD replied, wondering if he should be amused or worried.
Another pause. "Well, where the hell are you? And what the hell do you want?" Kelso demanded after a moment. "Son, I'm in no mood for games, so if you don't mind, get to the point and do so quickly."
JD did, deciding the truth would be the easiest way to go. "All right,” he said, and now his voice was strangely calm. “Sir, I've been missing for the last few weeks because I suddenly grew wings. I went to Dr. Cox looking for help, and he and I, along with his son--who is also growing wings--are now in hiding." He plowed on, not giving Kelso enough time to do more than snort incredulously. "Sir, I promise you, it's the truth," he said. "And now Pe--Dr. Cox is Changing too, but he's rejecting it--he's unconscious, and I'm afraid he'll stay that way, and if I can't get him on some kind of tube feed, he'll die."
He held his breath, waiting; his voice had gotten a little higher on that last bit, and cracked on the word "die," but he'd gotten it out. Now it was up to Kelso. JD prayed the long-standing rivalry between he and Perry was at least in part a jest—or if it wasn’t that, it at least didn’t extend to Kelso wanting Perry dead.
"Son," Kelso said after a long moment of tense silence. "If this is a joke, you are going to find yourself in a heap of trouble."
JD shook his head. "It's not a joke, sir," he said, and despite his fear there was a slight edge of hope in his voice now. "Please, he needs help. Please."
Kelso growled. "I can't just go giving away medical supplies!" he snapped. "I'd have the board down my throat after the next inventory!"
JD grinned, wings slumping in relief--he knew he'd won. He could tell by the resignation under the irritation in Kelso's voice. "Jordan Sullivan's going to handle the board," he said. "All I need you to do is help someone gather the supplies." He cringed, hoping Kelso wouldn't bristle at being ordered around, but he had no other choice. He'd fly out there himself, if he had to; the alternative was simply too terrible to contemplate.
"What do you need?" Kelso finally sighed.
JD's grin broadened, and he began to repeat his list.
* * *
Finally, the more difficult calls done with, JD called Carla and Turk, almost as much to distract himself as to update them on what was going on. He managed to forget how worried he was, for a bit, as they did their best to keep his spirits up. Carla asked about Jack, and JD realized later that she probably hadn't been prepared for the lengthy answer she received.
But it was easier to dwell on Jack being cute, on hearing that Turk was walking better, and Elliot seemed to be getting hooves, than on useless worry when he knew he'd done all he could.
Talking to Elliot herself, though, left him with an amused smile. Perry's heroic rescue seemed to have had quite the impact on her view of him, and she was almost breathless, telling JD every detail of it, even going so far as to mention how strong he was, how safe she’d felt with him carrying her. JD rolled his eyes, grinning; he’d known her long enough to recognize the symptoms of the full-blown crush she’d apparently developed. If they’d been talking about anyone else, he’d’ve probably told her to just ask the guy out.
As it was, he simply said, "Careful, Elliot--he's mine."
"Oh, I know!" she said hastily, sounding embarrassed. "I don't want him, I just--he's been such a bastard to me until now, but you were right all along, you know? He does have a heart under all that bravado." There was a pause, then she said in a lower voice, "I can see why you like him so much."
JD smiled again, shaking his head. Wait until Perry found out Elliot had a crush on him...even if it wasn't a serious one. He giggled, picturing the mock-gag, the groaning that would doubtlessly accompany that news, but the giggle abruptly ended when the image made him realize how much he missed Perry. "Thanks,” he said softly. “Nice to have someone else see it, too. And I'm so glad you're all okay..."
"We're fine, JD, don't worry. Dr. Cox laid in enough food even for as much as Carla and I are eating. Don’t worry about us, just concentrate on stuff there.” There was another pause, and then she added, “By the way… did I really hear Turk say you've come up with a treatment for rejection? Between that and coaching us through ours, it sounds like you're carving out a new specialty for yourself there..."
JD chuckled. "I guess I have,” he admitted. “It's nothing formal, really, just a few guesses... But I've been doing a lot of research." JD paused, brushing his hand over Perry's, willing him to wake up. "It's got to work..."
"It will," Elliot assured him softly. "Don't worry--he's a stubborn ass when he wants to be, and he's always been willing to do just about anything for you. Just keep reminding him that, and he'll be fine."
"He has, hasn't he?” JD murmured, and now there was a soft note of amazement in his voice. He smiled again, leaning forward to curl around Perry, draping a wing around him protectively. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I won't let him go. Between me and Jack...he has to stay. He has to." JD sighed, lowering his head to rest against Perry’s shoulder, still cradling the phone to his ear. "I really wish you guys were here," he murmured, blinking back tears.
"We will be, as soon as we can be," she promised him. "As soon as we're done Changing, we'll figure out a way to get to you. Even if we have to walk."
JD smiled. "Hey you're all 'taurs, walking'll be easier than if you were still humans. Especially for you." His smile grew a little. "Centauress."
"I love horses,” she said, and JD could picture the shrug as clearly as though he’d seen it. “Could've been worse. I could've been one of those creepy snake things."
"Nagas," JD replied. "And don't be species-ist, Elliot. You know people can't help what they become."
But he was joking, and she knew it. "Yeah, yeah," she said. "No offense to snakes, I've just never been a fan."
JD smiled. "Me neither," he said softly, thinking he was grateful that Perry hadn't been turning into a naga--though even that would've been preferable to a mer. "Look, I've gotta go. Take care, okay?"
"Will do. G'bye, JD."
"Bye."
He hung up the phone and reached over Perry’s chest to set it on the nightstand. Perry was still, for the most part, though his brow was creased, and his eyelids fluttered as one in a dream. JD bit his lip, snuggling a little closer. "Shhh," he crooned softly, running his fingers through Perry's curls and stroking his forehead. "I'm here, Perry. It’s okay."
It seemed to work, at least for now; Perry's body relaxed under JD's touch, and for a time, he rested peacefully.
JD could only guess how long it would last.
* * *
Danni arrived late that evening.
JD was near pacing by then; he knew Perry would be needing food, and soon. Now that his Change had begun in earnest, his body was using its stores of nutrition very quickly, and for at least an hour his stomach had been loudly protesting its utter emptiness. Though the noises might've been amusing, under any other circumstances, the fact that JD could not get Perry to wake up even long enough to down some broth had him severely frightened.
When Danni pulled up in the driveway, he was already out waiting for her--his eyes had picked up her vehicle coming up the road long before she'd arrived, and he was pacing in the drive by the time she parked.
He darted forward, eyes roving the backseat, taking in the equipment she'd stored back there. Plum pump, Ross pump, kio feed tubing, chucks, catheter, gloves, iodine...
"Where's the Glucerna?" He asked, as soon as Danni opened the door.
"Hello to you too," she said dryly, stepping out of the vehicle. She eyed his wings, then nodded approval. "Not bad," she commented.
"Thanks," JD replied, too distracted to feel guilty. Or at least, to feel incredibly guilty. "And I'm sorry...Thank you, so much, for doing this. But Perry's...he needs food, right away, and I can't wake him up. Where's the rest?"
Danni's eyes softened a little. "In the trunk. I got as much as I could find. Where is he?"
"In the master bedroom," JD replied. He opened the back door, reaching out and pulling both pumps and the tubing into his arms, hooking his fingers around the IV starter kit, grateful again for his newly-acquired strength. He hoisted himself up, wings unfurling a little to counterbalance the weight, as Danni popped the trunk and pulled out two six packs of the nutrient-rich shakes. A quick glance told JD there were plenty more in the back, and he started to let himself relax slightly. “All right,” he said. “This way.”
She looked amused, following him through the garage. “I think you’re forgetting whose cabin this is,” she remarked mildly.
JD blushed, but nodded. “Right—sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, looking around as they stepped into the kitchen. “Wow… it’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”
JD didn’t answer, saving his breath for the stairs, not particularly interested in reminiscing anyway. His attention at the moment was all focused on getting to Perry, getting him settled.
Once in the bedroom, he lowered his armload to the bed, breathing heavily. Danni came in behind him, setting the boxes of Glucerna on the dresser, then murmured, “I’ll go get the rest.”
He nodded. “Thanks,” he panted. “I want to get this going, anyway.”
JD pulled out the IV kit, and while Danni carried in case after case of glucerna, he wrapped the tourniquet around Perry’s arm, and carefully placed a line in Perry's right hand, thankful that the scales didn't go far enough to prevent access. This accomplished, he hooked up the tubing, and set the plum pump to begin delivering the sedative. He didn’t start it yet, however, holding out the hope that he could get Perry conscious enough to place the kio feed. Though the older man hadn’t regained consciousness, he had at least started responding to stimuli as JD had kept attempting over the last few hours, and he was hopeful his lover would be able to help him get the tube into his stomach, not his lungs.
He shuddered, shoving that thought aside, knowing that as soon as he started considering that eventuality he’d lose his nerve.
He’ll die if you don’t do something, he reminded himself. It’s risky, but it’s really your only choice.
By the time he’d finished setting up the IV, Danni had delivered the last box of Glucerna; she was breathing heavily and sweating a little despite the cold, but she had helped without complaint, and JD found himself feeling enormously grateful. She’d also removed her sweatshirt, and it was only then that JD suddenly noticed the silvery green glint on her forearms.
He raised his eyebrows, then looked up at her face. "Danni...?"
She glanced at her arm, then sighed, nodding. "Yeah. Me too. But they only appeared last night, and if I'm following Jordan's example I have at least another four or five days before I have problems walking, so I was still your best bet."
JD drew a breath, then nodded. "I... thank you," he said, feeling oddly touched that the Sullivans had come to Perry's aid so quickly and readily.
She shrugged. "Whatever," she said, but she gave JD a small smile nonetheless.
JD smiled at her softly for a moment, then shook his head, getting back to business. "Okay," he said. "I'm going to need a sterile field to set up the kio feed and the catheter, and an extra set of hands. Would you mind...?"
She nodded, moving forward, and under JD's direction, they got to work.
He set up the sterile field first, having Danni wash her hands with the hibiclens soap packets in the IV kit before following suit himself. They gloved up, then moved forward, Danni awaiting instructions from JD.
JD pulled out the tubing carefully, adding lubricant to the first eight or nine inches before moving to lean over Perry.
“Perry,” he said, voice loud and clear. “I’m threading a kio feed tube, okay? I need you to swallow for me when you feel it in your throat.”
“Can he hear you?” Danni murmured, frowning.
“I hope so,” JD replied softly; he drew a deep breath, then began to thread the tubing down Perry’s right nostril. “Hold his head still,” he instructed Danni. “I don’t want him to fight me off.”
She obeyed, moving forward and placing her hands on either side of Perry’s face, holding him still. She winced as she watched JD work. “That looks unpleasant.”
JD didn’t reply, continuing to carefully thread the tube. Suddenly, Perry began to cough, a furrow appearing between his brows.
“Swallow,” JD said firmly. Perry kept coughing, and his hands came up halfway, groping vaguely at JD’s arms.
“Swallow, Perry,” JD said again, more forcefully. “I need you to swallow.”
There was a pause—then Perry’s throat began to move, and JD felt the constricting muscles catch the end of the tubing. Fighting the urge to sob with relief, he continued to thread. “Good,” he murmured. “Very good. Almost done…keep swallowing…”
Perry did, and a few minutes later, the tubing was in to the mark that let JD know it was now firmly placed in Perry’s stomach. He drew a breath, trying not to celebrate too soon, and nodded toward the table. “Danni, can you get me a length of surgical tape?” he asked.
She did, and he took it from her, using it to secure the tubing to Perry’s face, just under one nostril.
Then he sat back, feeling himself slump in relief.
“Did we get it?” Danni asked after a moment.
JD looked up at her, and nodded, a weary smile on his face. “We did,” he said. “Now I just need to get the pumps running, and he should be good to go. But first—while we’ve got the field, I need to place a catheter. Do you mind…?”
To his relief, she simply nodded. He smiled, murmuring his thanks, and she stood by, fetching him whatever he needed as he threaded the catheter tube and inflated the balloon. That done, he hooked the bag to the side of the bed, smiling slightly when he realized there was already some flow. “Well, your kidneys still work, Perry,” he said. “Let’s see if your stomach does. But first, how about that Ativan…?”
He moved to the pump and flipped it open, setting the rate, before pressing start to let the sedative begin its work.
After a few minutes, Perry began to relax; the furrow between his eyebrows disappeared. JD blew the hair from his own eyes and slumped a little in relief.
At least that should keep him calm, he thought grimly. He then moved to the Ross pump and, after programming it and emptying three cans of Glucerna into the bag, he stepped back and nodded slowly.
“I think that should cover it,” he said after a moment. “We’ll want to get a chucks pad under him soon, but that can wait, I think.” He looked up at Danni. “There’s food in the kitchen, if you’re hungry,” he offered.
She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Jack began to cry, having awoken from his nap; JD glanced toward the door, but Danni held up her hand. "I'll get him," she said, and once again JD thanked her silently; the medical instincts that had driven him to forget Perry was more than a patient were beginning to fade, and standing by the bed staring at the tubes that were pumping his lover's still body with chemicals had made a lump begin to rise in his throat.
He sat down on the bed, taking Perry's hand, trying to push the tears back. Perry didn't need him to cry for him, he needed him to be strong, take care of things... He needed JD to look after him, for once.
The thought scared JD to death. Not that he couldn't handle it; he was fairly certain he could. From a medical point of view, at least, he was certain he could. But watching Perry there, so still, knowing he couldn't reach him... It made his hands shake, and his throat seize up tight.
"You've gotta get through this, Perry," he mumbled softly, squeezing the older man’s hand. "You've got to make it. You will. I know you will. You’ll wake up, and your wings will grow in and we'll go flying together, all three of us...You and me and Jack. It’ll be amazing, you’ll see. You’ve gotta be okay, so we can fly together. You've gotta be okay, so I can tell you that Elliot has a crush on you, and that Danni and Jordan really came through for us, and that Kelso actually acted like a human. You’ve gotta be okay, so I can brag about how I stood up to him..."
Keeping up the quiet stream of talk, JD managed to keep himself from breaking down. He let himself wander from topic to topic, his mouth following his thoughts, going with whatever popped into his head. Mostly stories of what they'd do, when Perry woke up, gentle encouragements to hang on, to just let it happen. He wasn't sure Perry could hear him, but he wasn't about to stop talking, just in case.
* * *
It was nearly an hour later that he managed to tear himself from Perry's side, heading downstairs to check on Danni and Jack.
The two were seated on the floor in front of the couch. Danni was helping Jack with his building blocks; Jack was more interested in the bucket. JD smiled, watching them; Danni might be a pain sometimes, but she was very dedicated to her family, and Jack was no exception. He felt a twinge of sadness; it was really unfair that the Change would separate them. He vowed that they would all get to the ocean as often as possible, so Jack could visit his mom and aunt.
He bit back a sigh when he reflected Jack would not be visiting his grandmother, except at her grave. But he shoved that thought quickly aside. Thinking about Jack's family only led to thoughts of his own, and right now he didn't need that on top of everything. Perry was stable, but JD had never nursed anyone through rejection before, and while he was pretty sure his method would work, he didn't know what other obstacles they might encounter over the next few days or weeks.
And that was another thing: how long would Perry stay unconscious? JD had already decided he would keep him sedated for at least the first forty-eight hours--from everything he'd read, those were the most dangerous times--but he didn't have enough Ativan to keep him under for much longer than that. Oh, he could write a prescription for more, and find a way to get it if he had to--but would Perry need it?
Would JD have to keep him sedated through his whole change?
He bit his lip, praying that was not the case. Keeping Perry under that long could in itself lead to complications, of course—there was no telling what the sedatives could do to the newly-developing limbs, for one thing—but that wasn't what made his heart clench and his throat tighten. He would miss Perry, if he had to keep him unconscious for that long. Hell, he missed him now, and it hadn't even been a full day yet.
Danni saw him and looked up, offering him a smile. "How's he doing?"
"Better, for now,” JD replied. “I think he'll be all right...Just going to be slow going before I can be sure."
"If he is, you will've helped a lot of people, you know," Danni offered, handing Jack a block that he immediately threw on the ground, just to see her pick it up again. "You’ll have cured rejection."
"Treated it, anyway." JD's lips twitched into a wry grin as he flipped a dining chair around and sat on it backwards, resting his arms on the back and lowering his chin to his wrists. "Wish I could've done it sooner, though."
"Jordan told me about your family,” Danni agreed softly. “I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry about your mom," JD replied, with an understanding for the family members of patients they’d lost that he’d never really had, until now. It made a world of difference to be the one hearing "I'm sorry for you loss" and not the one saying it.
"Yeah." Danni gave him a half-smile, shrugging.
There was an awkward silence, while Jack made motorboat noises into the bucket, then giggled. Danni looked away and cleared her throat. "So. About that food you mentioned…think there's enough for me?"
JD barely bit back a laugh. "Yeah," he said. "I think we can dig something up."
They ate standing at the bar, though not before JD had run back up to check on Perry (no change): peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos, and chocolate chip cookies out of a bag, with a beer for JD and Danni and juice for Jack. Danni drank two, actually--which told JD she had every intention of staying the night. In truth, he was glad of it. He would have insisted anyway, because it was far too dark to drive down the mountain, but now there was an excuse, and neither of them would even have to bring it up. He was glad of the company, and he was glad to have someone to help with Jack. JD didn't mind taking care of the child, of course--quite the opposite--but he had the feeling the next few days were going to be crucial, and he wanted to be able to stay by Perry's side as much as possible.
Afterward, Danni and Jack settled in before the television to watch The Little Mermaid (Danni's choice, which made JD chuckle. "Hey," she defended, "I'll need pointers."). JD returned to the master bedroom. Kelso had thought to add a sphygmomanometer, stethoscope, and pulse oxemetry to the list, and JD used these to check Perry's vitals, relieved to see they were all within normal limits. His heart rate was slow, but not to the point of being bradycardic, and his respirations were deep and steady. His blood pressure, JD was relieved to note, was well within the normal range--he'd read that hypertension was one of the warning signs that preceded arrest in rejection patients.
"Well," he said softly, removing the stethoscope and draping it automatically over his neck before remembering he didn't need it again, "you're doing fine so far, Perry. I wish I could risk letting you wake up—assuming you would, that is—but I don't want to take any chances."
He sighed, going quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of Ariel singing about her desire for a new world and thinking ironically it was a pretty appropriate song to be listening to at a time like this. He turned and, after a moment's hesitation, crawled into the bed next to Perry, snuggling in beside him and stroking the hair from his face, then caressing his cheek. "Things sure have gone crazy on us, haven't they?" he murmured, hoping that even though Perry wouldn't wake, he would at least be able to recognize and take comfort in JD's voice. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there to save my ass..."
It made JD shiver a little, to think back on it. Laying in that cold hotel room bed, his stomach aching with hunger, too scared to go home...He hadn't expected to get something like this out of it. To have Perry and Jack, a family...and he would have them, if only this stupid thing didn't take Perry away from him. "But you were there,” he continued. “And thanks to you, I'm all right, and so are Turk and Carla and Elliot...you've saved the lot of us. You have to get through this, if only so you can start never letting us forget it. Of course, I'm saving your ass now, but we don't have to mention that part. Unless I want you to cook dinner..."
But he couldn't keep the teasing up for long, and finally he sighed. "I wanted to feel like a doctor again, but not by taking care of you. I guess I should be flattered though, huh? It must've been thinking you were going to lose me and Jack that made you go into this. You always have had to be dramatic about things..." To his horror, JD discovered he couldn't keep the tears back now. They welled from his eyes and spilled, unconcerned by his attempts to hold them back.
"If you knew…” he whimpered, voice choked. “If you knew what you were becoming, Perry, would that stop the rejection?" He sobbed softly, turning his face into Perry's neck and wrapping arm and wing over his chest. "You're growing wings. You're not going anywhere. You hear me? That's an order, Perry."
He gave up speaking and simply cried, releasing the worry and fear and tension through the salt tears that soaked Perry's shoulder. He did not move until he heard the sounds of the ending credits on the movie downstairs, and then he pushed himself up only reluctantly.
Danni was halfway up the stairs by the time JD had scrubbed his face free of tears and walked out of the bedroom. She froze, Jack sleeping in her arms, eyes widening when she caught sight of JD's tear-streaked face. "Is he...?"
"No!" JD said quickly, resisting the urge to knock on the wood of the banister. "No...I'm just... it's been a rough day, you know?"
Danni's eyes softened again, and she nodded. "Yeah," she agreed quietly. Then, nodding toward Jack, she said, "I'm going to put him down, then I'm going to get to sleep too. I'm going to assume the bed in Ben's room is no longer being used?"
JD blushed, but nodded. "No, I'll... I'll be staying with Perry," he said, nodding back toward the master bedroom. "Get some sleep. And Danni… thank you. I can’t tell you how grateful…" he broke off, embarrassed to realize his voice was growing choked again.
But Danni simply smiled, and nodded. “You’re welcome,” she murmured. "G'night, JD." She turned away and walked into Ben's old room, drawing the door shut behind her, though JD could still hear her humming "Part of Your World" to Jack. JD drew a deep, steadying breath, then went downstairs and put a fresh scoop of coffee into the machine, clicking it on and leaning on the counter as he waited for it to brew.
He didn't expect he'd get much sleep that night anyway.
* * *
Next Chapter
* * *
Characters: John Dorian/Perry Cox
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Chapter Rating: PG-13 for language and description of medical techniques
Description: This is a wildly AU story with fantastical elements based on
thuri's Nano writing project. It begins late in season three, before Carla and Turk's wedding, and from there follows the characters as they face the Change, a strange, magical phenomenon that is turning ordinary humans into half-human creatures from fantasy.Chapter listings: Contents Post
Author's note:
randomslasher has no power, thanks to the ice storms in the Midwest, and we're not sure when she'll get it back. I, thuri, have a party to go to tonight that might keep me past 10pm my time. So you get your part now! We're hoping she'll get power back in time for us to finish editing Chapter 17 for Wednesday, but I'm warning everyone now that it may be slightly delayed. Keep your fingers crossed for her lights!JD fed Jack and got him changed before settling in the den to play with him. He could dimly hear the sound of Perry's axe, and the sound was comforting. Again, he let himself dream this could last forever, that Perry's Change wouldn't soon separate them...
And maybe it would turn out to be true. Maybe his Change was something different. JD hadn't found a single mer case that spoke of scales as developed as Perry’s with no accompanying hip displacement or walking difficulties, yet so far Perry had none. Same with the nagas. Perry’s legs weren't Changing, there were no scales developing on his thighs, no evidence of altered vision due to the waterproof film the Mers developed, no new sensitivity to heat like the nagas...in fact, Perry’s Change didn’t imitate anything JD could find existing reports of. Maybe it was something else. Something new.
Cherishing his delusions, for a time JD lost himself in playing with Jack. Eventually, however, he realized he hadn't heard the sound of Perry's axe in some time.
He frowned, walking to the door and looking out, but couldn't see past the shed. "Now what's your daddy up to?" he asked Jack, returning to pick him up and settle him in his playpen before picking up his tennis shoes and sliding them on. His jacket he pulled on backwards, not wanting to deal with getting it around his wings, and told Jack to be good before he opened the door and headed outside.
It was bitterly cold, though not as bad as it had been the night prior. Still, JD didn’t dawdle to admire the frozen beauty of the mountain landscape, hurrying forward, feet crunching through the top layer of snow and making him a little awkward. Sparing a moment to wish his shoulder were healed enough to just let him fly out to the shed, he called, “Perry? Is everything okay? I didn’t…”
He rounded the corner of the shed, then stopped in his tracks, words dying on his lips. Then, with a cry, he lunged forward, dropping to his knees next to Perry, who lay facedown in the snow, apparently completely unconscious.
“Perry,” he gasped, pulling the older man over onto his back. “Perry, wake up! Can you hear me?”
Nothing.
"Fuck..." JD sat back, mind flashing back to the moment the SUV had gone off the road, and shivered hard. But this was worse; there was no apparent cause...and a cursory examination showed no apparent distress, either. Perry was breathing, he had a pulse; he simply wasn't awake. And wasn't responding, either, no matter what JD tried.
Think, Dorian, don't panic. Get him inside, get him warm...then figure out what the fucking hell is going on...
He shrugged himself out of his coat and draped it over Perry, then sat back, biting his lip. Lifting the other man was going to be a bit of a problem... He could roll him onto the wood sling and slide him over the snow easily enough, but once they were inside...He wasn't sure he could get him up the stairs. Unless... he frowned suddenly, looking down at his arms, his chest, flexing experimentally.
He almost grinned. Duh. You are an idiot, JD. Did you forget you actually have muscles now?
He grabbed the sling, unrolling the fabric and laying it next to Perry before moving around in front of him. Then, carefully, he took the older doctor under the arms and half-lifted him so the majority of his weight was supported by the sling. His legs would drag in the snow, but that was the least of JD’s worries. He glanced toward the cabin, thinking with some chagrin that the distance had seemed a lot shorter on the way out here, then began to pull.
It took nearly an hour, but his newly acquired strength proved to be enough. Barely. Getting Perry over the threshold of the sliding door proved to be a little trickier, but he managed it, and got the older man settled on the carpet in front of the fireplace, sparing a moment to be grateful the Sullivans had gone with carpet and not hardwood flooring.
Deciding to tackle the stairs later, JD tugged Perry’s soaked outer garments off, checking his vitals. Heart rate slow, but strong, breathing normal, sheathed in sweat... shit. "Why couldn't you have cut yourself or something?" JD murmured, biting his lip again. He'd done enough research to recognize the first stages of rejection.
He sat back, trying to catch his breath, and trying desperately not to panic. Everything he’d read about rejection called it fatal. There’d been no documented cases of anyone surviving. But most of the patients who died were only discovered afterwards; none had actively sought treatment. And most of the initial autopsy reports listed cause of death as heart failure or malnutrition.
Which meant, most likely, they either died of pure fright at what was happening to their bodies—or starved to death because they were unconscious.
Well. Perry unconscious certainly couldn’t die of fright, as long as JD kept him that way. And as for keeping his body fed…well, there were ways to do that, too, if he could arrange to have them brought out here.
First things first, then. Get him upstairs, get him into dry clothing, keep him sedated, and somehow get IV nutrition from the hospital. Sure. Easy.
Right.
Act now, Dorian, he told himself firmly. Panic later.
* * *
JD wasn't sure, later, how he got Perry upstairs, but he managed it.
He half-carried, half dragged the older man up the stairs, wishing his wings weren’t impeding him from simply slinging the heavy man over his back, and staggered into the master bedroom, lowering Perry onto the mattress as carefully as he could. Once there, he knelt, breathing heavily, and decided the next thing to do would be get both he and Perry out of their sweat-drenched clothing.
He changed himself first, shrugging out of his t-shirt and drying himself with a towel before pulling on a new one, then moved forward to tend to Perry. In the end, he decided the only reasonable thing to do would be to cut the t-shirt off of him; this he did with utmost care, watching the older man for any signs of stirring. The last thing he needed was to jab a pair of scissors into the older man’s chest, should Perry wake suddenly and begin flailing.
But Perry remained unconscious, and JD finished his task in disappointed silence.
It wasn't until he rolled the older man onto his side to cut along the back that he noticed something that made his breath catch in his throat, eyes going impossibly wide.
He swallowed, and reached out with shaking hands to lift the cut fabric away from Perry’s shoulders.
“Oh, my God…” he breathed, a tearful smile creeping onto his face as he reached out and traced the protrusions sprouting from Perry’s back, just above the shoulder blades. They were about four inches long, maybe five inches in diameter, conical—and surrounded at the base with a layer of silvery red scales.
"Wing buds,” he breathed aloud, a few tears slipping free. “Holy crap. Oh, Perry… You're not going mer, you're growing wings.” He laughed, a choked sound that was also half a sob, and lowered the older doctor onto his back once more before moving forward and wrapped his arms around his waist, letting his head rest on his shoulder for a moment. “I don't know what you're Changing into,” he murmured against the skin of the other man's chest, “but wings... wings means you're staying right here."
Feeling a good deal better, if still scared, he finished getting Perry settled and grabbed the phone, calling the one person with enough influence to get them out of this.
It rang once before a bemused voice answered. “Hello?”
"Jordan?” JD said, gripping the phone tighter. “It's JD."
"JD?" Jordan sounded more than a little surprised. "What’s wrong? Is Jack…?"
JD rubbed his forehead, looking over at the bed, and Perry's pale, drawn form. "Jack's fine. He's learned how to put his wings away, and keeps popping them out and giggling. But Jordan...you knew Perry started Changing, right?"
She sighed. “Yeah, he called me,” she said. “DJ, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be,” JD said. “At least not for that reason. He’s not going Mer, Jordan.” Despite the circumstances, the words still brought a giddy sort of happiness to him, tempered with fear and worry though it was.
“What?” Jordan sounded startled. “But he—he was growing scales, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah,” JD said, moving forward and kneeling on the bed next to his lover, stroking one of his forearms lightly. “He is, but I just...I just found wing buds.”
There was a pause, then Jordan said, “Well, I guess that explains where Jack got them. What is he, some kind of dragon or something?”
JD shook his head. “I have no idea,” he said, grinning despite himself. “But I don’t care. He’s staying here.”
Jordan actually laughed, relief and happiness evident in her voice. “That’s great,” she said softly. “Jack will have his Daddy, at least, even if Mommy can’t stick around.”
JD frowned, noting the sudden dip in tone. “So you’re… you’re going to the sea, then?” he said softly. “When you’re done?”
“I think so,” she replied. “I just… I don’t know, but… it seems like that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.” She paused for a moment, and JD dithered, wanting to comfort her but knowing Perry needed help, but then she spoke again. “So why are you calling me? Is Perry around?”
JD sighed. “He’s right here,” he said softly. “But Jordan… the Change, it…it's not going easily for him. I think he’s going into Rejection.”
There was a long pause. “How do you know?” she finally said, voice slightly choked.
“He’s unconscious,” JD murmured, biting his lip and swallowing before continuing. “I can’t get him to respond to noxious or tactile stimuli, and when I found him he was all over in sweat even though he was out in the snow.”
She swore lightly, then said, “Okay. You called me to do more than bellyache, I assume, so what can I do?”
JD smiled tremulously, thinking he was glad to have Jordan as an ally right now. “I need you to get something for me from the hospital,” he said. “Actually… several things.”
"Just tell me what."
He slumped a little in relief, knowing that when Jordan used that tone of voice, there’d be nothing that would stop her from getting everything he needed. He glanced at Perry again, then said, "Okay… first things first, I need to keep him fed. He’ll starve before he finishes the Change, but I can’t get enough food in him through reflex swallowing alone, so I guess we need to start him on tube feeding. Get a hold of someone at the hospital, and tell them I need a set up for a kio feed, pump and all. And as many cases of Glucerna as you can possibly track down."
He thought a moment longer. Maybe keeping him slightly sedated would help...he'd certainly read about people in rejection having horrific night terrors. "Actually, I'm going to need a plumb pump too,” he said. “With IV Ativan—so an IV starter kit, too. And a catheter might be a good idea, I guess, since we’re going to be feeding him…so gloves, too, and iodine, and maybe a few packages of chuck pads…"
"Hey, DJ, I'm not your intern! Slow down," Jordan snapped, pulling him from his thoughts. He blushed and repeated the list, spelling a few things for her.
"All right," she said at last. "I'll do what I can. Danni can drive out, and get everything to you. But you should probably call Kelso yourself. It's going to take more than me to make this work." She hesitated for a moment. "And JD?"
"Yeah, Jordan?"
"Take care of our boys for me?"
JD smiled slightly. "I promise."
* * *
Calling Kelso had taken more nerve than JD had known himself to possess.
He drew a deep breath as the hospital operator patched him through to the Chief of Medicine's office, almost hoping he wouldn't pick up.
He did, though, after the third ring.
"Bob Kelso, and so help me if this is someone else calling in sick, I'm going to slow roast you and serve you at the next company picnic."
JD winced. "Uh... sir, this is JD."
"Who?"
"Dr. Dorian," JD corrected himself quickly, flushed.
There was a very long pause, and JD heard some shuffling of papers. "Aren't you the missing guy?" Kelso finally growled.
"Ah... yes, sir, I believe that was the last you heard," JD replied, wondering if he should be amused or worried.
Another pause. "Well, where the hell are you? And what the hell do you want?" Kelso demanded after a moment. "Son, I'm in no mood for games, so if you don't mind, get to the point and do so quickly."
JD did, deciding the truth would be the easiest way to go. "All right,” he said, and now his voice was strangely calm. “Sir, I've been missing for the last few weeks because I suddenly grew wings. I went to Dr. Cox looking for help, and he and I, along with his son--who is also growing wings--are now in hiding." He plowed on, not giving Kelso enough time to do more than snort incredulously. "Sir, I promise you, it's the truth," he said. "And now Pe--Dr. Cox is Changing too, but he's rejecting it--he's unconscious, and I'm afraid he'll stay that way, and if I can't get him on some kind of tube feed, he'll die."
He held his breath, waiting; his voice had gotten a little higher on that last bit, and cracked on the word "die," but he'd gotten it out. Now it was up to Kelso. JD prayed the long-standing rivalry between he and Perry was at least in part a jest—or if it wasn’t that, it at least didn’t extend to Kelso wanting Perry dead.
"Son," Kelso said after a long moment of tense silence. "If this is a joke, you are going to find yourself in a heap of trouble."
JD shook his head. "It's not a joke, sir," he said, and despite his fear there was a slight edge of hope in his voice now. "Please, he needs help. Please."
Kelso growled. "I can't just go giving away medical supplies!" he snapped. "I'd have the board down my throat after the next inventory!"
JD grinned, wings slumping in relief--he knew he'd won. He could tell by the resignation under the irritation in Kelso's voice. "Jordan Sullivan's going to handle the board," he said. "All I need you to do is help someone gather the supplies." He cringed, hoping Kelso wouldn't bristle at being ordered around, but he had no other choice. He'd fly out there himself, if he had to; the alternative was simply too terrible to contemplate.
"What do you need?" Kelso finally sighed.
JD's grin broadened, and he began to repeat his list.
* * *
Finally, the more difficult calls done with, JD called Carla and Turk, almost as much to distract himself as to update them on what was going on. He managed to forget how worried he was, for a bit, as they did their best to keep his spirits up. Carla asked about Jack, and JD realized later that she probably hadn't been prepared for the lengthy answer she received.
But it was easier to dwell on Jack being cute, on hearing that Turk was walking better, and Elliot seemed to be getting hooves, than on useless worry when he knew he'd done all he could.
Talking to Elliot herself, though, left him with an amused smile. Perry's heroic rescue seemed to have had quite the impact on her view of him, and she was almost breathless, telling JD every detail of it, even going so far as to mention how strong he was, how safe she’d felt with him carrying her. JD rolled his eyes, grinning; he’d known her long enough to recognize the symptoms of the full-blown crush she’d apparently developed. If they’d been talking about anyone else, he’d’ve probably told her to just ask the guy out.
As it was, he simply said, "Careful, Elliot--he's mine."
"Oh, I know!" she said hastily, sounding embarrassed. "I don't want him, I just--he's been such a bastard to me until now, but you were right all along, you know? He does have a heart under all that bravado." There was a pause, then she said in a lower voice, "I can see why you like him so much."
JD smiled again, shaking his head. Wait until Perry found out Elliot had a crush on him...even if it wasn't a serious one. He giggled, picturing the mock-gag, the groaning that would doubtlessly accompany that news, but the giggle abruptly ended when the image made him realize how much he missed Perry. "Thanks,” he said softly. “Nice to have someone else see it, too. And I'm so glad you're all okay..."
"We're fine, JD, don't worry. Dr. Cox laid in enough food even for as much as Carla and I are eating. Don’t worry about us, just concentrate on stuff there.” There was another pause, and then she added, “By the way… did I really hear Turk say you've come up with a treatment for rejection? Between that and coaching us through ours, it sounds like you're carving out a new specialty for yourself there..."
JD chuckled. "I guess I have,” he admitted. “It's nothing formal, really, just a few guesses... But I've been doing a lot of research." JD paused, brushing his hand over Perry's, willing him to wake up. "It's got to work..."
"It will," Elliot assured him softly. "Don't worry--he's a stubborn ass when he wants to be, and he's always been willing to do just about anything for you. Just keep reminding him that, and he'll be fine."
"He has, hasn't he?” JD murmured, and now there was a soft note of amazement in his voice. He smiled again, leaning forward to curl around Perry, draping a wing around him protectively. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I won't let him go. Between me and Jack...he has to stay. He has to." JD sighed, lowering his head to rest against Perry’s shoulder, still cradling the phone to his ear. "I really wish you guys were here," he murmured, blinking back tears.
"We will be, as soon as we can be," she promised him. "As soon as we're done Changing, we'll figure out a way to get to you. Even if we have to walk."
JD smiled. "Hey you're all 'taurs, walking'll be easier than if you were still humans. Especially for you." His smile grew a little. "Centauress."
"I love horses,” she said, and JD could picture the shrug as clearly as though he’d seen it. “Could've been worse. I could've been one of those creepy snake things."
"Nagas," JD replied. "And don't be species-ist, Elliot. You know people can't help what they become."
But he was joking, and she knew it. "Yeah, yeah," she said. "No offense to snakes, I've just never been a fan."
JD smiled. "Me neither," he said softly, thinking he was grateful that Perry hadn't been turning into a naga--though even that would've been preferable to a mer. "Look, I've gotta go. Take care, okay?"
"Will do. G'bye, JD."
"Bye."
He hung up the phone and reached over Perry’s chest to set it on the nightstand. Perry was still, for the most part, though his brow was creased, and his eyelids fluttered as one in a dream. JD bit his lip, snuggling a little closer. "Shhh," he crooned softly, running his fingers through Perry's curls and stroking his forehead. "I'm here, Perry. It’s okay."
It seemed to work, at least for now; Perry's body relaxed under JD's touch, and for a time, he rested peacefully.
JD could only guess how long it would last.
* * *
Danni arrived late that evening.
JD was near pacing by then; he knew Perry would be needing food, and soon. Now that his Change had begun in earnest, his body was using its stores of nutrition very quickly, and for at least an hour his stomach had been loudly protesting its utter emptiness. Though the noises might've been amusing, under any other circumstances, the fact that JD could not get Perry to wake up even long enough to down some broth had him severely frightened.
When Danni pulled up in the driveway, he was already out waiting for her--his eyes had picked up her vehicle coming up the road long before she'd arrived, and he was pacing in the drive by the time she parked.
He darted forward, eyes roving the backseat, taking in the equipment she'd stored back there. Plum pump, Ross pump, kio feed tubing, chucks, catheter, gloves, iodine...
"Where's the Glucerna?" He asked, as soon as Danni opened the door.
"Hello to you too," she said dryly, stepping out of the vehicle. She eyed his wings, then nodded approval. "Not bad," she commented.
"Thanks," JD replied, too distracted to feel guilty. Or at least, to feel incredibly guilty. "And I'm sorry...Thank you, so much, for doing this. But Perry's...he needs food, right away, and I can't wake him up. Where's the rest?"
Danni's eyes softened a little. "In the trunk. I got as much as I could find. Where is he?"
"In the master bedroom," JD replied. He opened the back door, reaching out and pulling both pumps and the tubing into his arms, hooking his fingers around the IV starter kit, grateful again for his newly-acquired strength. He hoisted himself up, wings unfurling a little to counterbalance the weight, as Danni popped the trunk and pulled out two six packs of the nutrient-rich shakes. A quick glance told JD there were plenty more in the back, and he started to let himself relax slightly. “All right,” he said. “This way.”
She looked amused, following him through the garage. “I think you’re forgetting whose cabin this is,” she remarked mildly.
JD blushed, but nodded. “Right—sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, looking around as they stepped into the kitchen. “Wow… it’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”
JD didn’t answer, saving his breath for the stairs, not particularly interested in reminiscing anyway. His attention at the moment was all focused on getting to Perry, getting him settled.
Once in the bedroom, he lowered his armload to the bed, breathing heavily. Danni came in behind him, setting the boxes of Glucerna on the dresser, then murmured, “I’ll go get the rest.”
He nodded. “Thanks,” he panted. “I want to get this going, anyway.”
JD pulled out the IV kit, and while Danni carried in case after case of glucerna, he wrapped the tourniquet around Perry’s arm, and carefully placed a line in Perry's right hand, thankful that the scales didn't go far enough to prevent access. This accomplished, he hooked up the tubing, and set the plum pump to begin delivering the sedative. He didn’t start it yet, however, holding out the hope that he could get Perry conscious enough to place the kio feed. Though the older man hadn’t regained consciousness, he had at least started responding to stimuli as JD had kept attempting over the last few hours, and he was hopeful his lover would be able to help him get the tube into his stomach, not his lungs.
He shuddered, shoving that thought aside, knowing that as soon as he started considering that eventuality he’d lose his nerve.
He’ll die if you don’t do something, he reminded himself. It’s risky, but it’s really your only choice.
By the time he’d finished setting up the IV, Danni had delivered the last box of Glucerna; she was breathing heavily and sweating a little despite the cold, but she had helped without complaint, and JD found himself feeling enormously grateful. She’d also removed her sweatshirt, and it was only then that JD suddenly noticed the silvery green glint on her forearms.
He raised his eyebrows, then looked up at her face. "Danni...?"
She glanced at her arm, then sighed, nodding. "Yeah. Me too. But they only appeared last night, and if I'm following Jordan's example I have at least another four or five days before I have problems walking, so I was still your best bet."
JD drew a breath, then nodded. "I... thank you," he said, feeling oddly touched that the Sullivans had come to Perry's aid so quickly and readily.
She shrugged. "Whatever," she said, but she gave JD a small smile nonetheless.
JD smiled at her softly for a moment, then shook his head, getting back to business. "Okay," he said. "I'm going to need a sterile field to set up the kio feed and the catheter, and an extra set of hands. Would you mind...?"
She nodded, moving forward, and under JD's direction, they got to work.
He set up the sterile field first, having Danni wash her hands with the hibiclens soap packets in the IV kit before following suit himself. They gloved up, then moved forward, Danni awaiting instructions from JD.
JD pulled out the tubing carefully, adding lubricant to the first eight or nine inches before moving to lean over Perry.
“Perry,” he said, voice loud and clear. “I’m threading a kio feed tube, okay? I need you to swallow for me when you feel it in your throat.”
“Can he hear you?” Danni murmured, frowning.
“I hope so,” JD replied softly; he drew a deep breath, then began to thread the tubing down Perry’s right nostril. “Hold his head still,” he instructed Danni. “I don’t want him to fight me off.”
She obeyed, moving forward and placing her hands on either side of Perry’s face, holding him still. She winced as she watched JD work. “That looks unpleasant.”
JD didn’t reply, continuing to carefully thread the tube. Suddenly, Perry began to cough, a furrow appearing between his brows.
“Swallow,” JD said firmly. Perry kept coughing, and his hands came up halfway, groping vaguely at JD’s arms.
“Swallow, Perry,” JD said again, more forcefully. “I need you to swallow.”
There was a pause—then Perry’s throat began to move, and JD felt the constricting muscles catch the end of the tubing. Fighting the urge to sob with relief, he continued to thread. “Good,” he murmured. “Very good. Almost done…keep swallowing…”
Perry did, and a few minutes later, the tubing was in to the mark that let JD know it was now firmly placed in Perry’s stomach. He drew a breath, trying not to celebrate too soon, and nodded toward the table. “Danni, can you get me a length of surgical tape?” he asked.
She did, and he took it from her, using it to secure the tubing to Perry’s face, just under one nostril.
Then he sat back, feeling himself slump in relief.
“Did we get it?” Danni asked after a moment.
JD looked up at her, and nodded, a weary smile on his face. “We did,” he said. “Now I just need to get the pumps running, and he should be good to go. But first—while we’ve got the field, I need to place a catheter. Do you mind…?”
To his relief, she simply nodded. He smiled, murmuring his thanks, and she stood by, fetching him whatever he needed as he threaded the catheter tube and inflated the balloon. That done, he hooked the bag to the side of the bed, smiling slightly when he realized there was already some flow. “Well, your kidneys still work, Perry,” he said. “Let’s see if your stomach does. But first, how about that Ativan…?”
He moved to the pump and flipped it open, setting the rate, before pressing start to let the sedative begin its work.
After a few minutes, Perry began to relax; the furrow between his eyebrows disappeared. JD blew the hair from his own eyes and slumped a little in relief.
At least that should keep him calm, he thought grimly. He then moved to the Ross pump and, after programming it and emptying three cans of Glucerna into the bag, he stepped back and nodded slowly.
“I think that should cover it,” he said after a moment. “We’ll want to get a chucks pad under him soon, but that can wait, I think.” He looked up at Danni. “There’s food in the kitchen, if you’re hungry,” he offered.
She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Jack began to cry, having awoken from his nap; JD glanced toward the door, but Danni held up her hand. "I'll get him," she said, and once again JD thanked her silently; the medical instincts that had driven him to forget Perry was more than a patient were beginning to fade, and standing by the bed staring at the tubes that were pumping his lover's still body with chemicals had made a lump begin to rise in his throat.
He sat down on the bed, taking Perry's hand, trying to push the tears back. Perry didn't need him to cry for him, he needed him to be strong, take care of things... He needed JD to look after him, for once.
The thought scared JD to death. Not that he couldn't handle it; he was fairly certain he could. From a medical point of view, at least, he was certain he could. But watching Perry there, so still, knowing he couldn't reach him... It made his hands shake, and his throat seize up tight.
"You've gotta get through this, Perry," he mumbled softly, squeezing the older man’s hand. "You've got to make it. You will. I know you will. You’ll wake up, and your wings will grow in and we'll go flying together, all three of us...You and me and Jack. It’ll be amazing, you’ll see. You’ve gotta be okay, so we can fly together. You've gotta be okay, so I can tell you that Elliot has a crush on you, and that Danni and Jordan really came through for us, and that Kelso actually acted like a human. You’ve gotta be okay, so I can brag about how I stood up to him..."
Keeping up the quiet stream of talk, JD managed to keep himself from breaking down. He let himself wander from topic to topic, his mouth following his thoughts, going with whatever popped into his head. Mostly stories of what they'd do, when Perry woke up, gentle encouragements to hang on, to just let it happen. He wasn't sure Perry could hear him, but he wasn't about to stop talking, just in case.
* * *
It was nearly an hour later that he managed to tear himself from Perry's side, heading downstairs to check on Danni and Jack.
The two were seated on the floor in front of the couch. Danni was helping Jack with his building blocks; Jack was more interested in the bucket. JD smiled, watching them; Danni might be a pain sometimes, but she was very dedicated to her family, and Jack was no exception. He felt a twinge of sadness; it was really unfair that the Change would separate them. He vowed that they would all get to the ocean as often as possible, so Jack could visit his mom and aunt.
He bit back a sigh when he reflected Jack would not be visiting his grandmother, except at her grave. But he shoved that thought quickly aside. Thinking about Jack's family only led to thoughts of his own, and right now he didn't need that on top of everything. Perry was stable, but JD had never nursed anyone through rejection before, and while he was pretty sure his method would work, he didn't know what other obstacles they might encounter over the next few days or weeks.
And that was another thing: how long would Perry stay unconscious? JD had already decided he would keep him sedated for at least the first forty-eight hours--from everything he'd read, those were the most dangerous times--but he didn't have enough Ativan to keep him under for much longer than that. Oh, he could write a prescription for more, and find a way to get it if he had to--but would Perry need it?
Would JD have to keep him sedated through his whole change?
He bit his lip, praying that was not the case. Keeping Perry under that long could in itself lead to complications, of course—there was no telling what the sedatives could do to the newly-developing limbs, for one thing—but that wasn't what made his heart clench and his throat tighten. He would miss Perry, if he had to keep him unconscious for that long. Hell, he missed him now, and it hadn't even been a full day yet.
Danni saw him and looked up, offering him a smile. "How's he doing?"
"Better, for now,” JD replied. “I think he'll be all right...Just going to be slow going before I can be sure."
"If he is, you will've helped a lot of people, you know," Danni offered, handing Jack a block that he immediately threw on the ground, just to see her pick it up again. "You’ll have cured rejection."
"Treated it, anyway." JD's lips twitched into a wry grin as he flipped a dining chair around and sat on it backwards, resting his arms on the back and lowering his chin to his wrists. "Wish I could've done it sooner, though."
"Jordan told me about your family,” Danni agreed softly. “I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry about your mom," JD replied, with an understanding for the family members of patients they’d lost that he’d never really had, until now. It made a world of difference to be the one hearing "I'm sorry for you loss" and not the one saying it.
"Yeah." Danni gave him a half-smile, shrugging.
There was an awkward silence, while Jack made motorboat noises into the bucket, then giggled. Danni looked away and cleared her throat. "So. About that food you mentioned…think there's enough for me?"
JD barely bit back a laugh. "Yeah," he said. "I think we can dig something up."
They ate standing at the bar, though not before JD had run back up to check on Perry (no change): peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos, and chocolate chip cookies out of a bag, with a beer for JD and Danni and juice for Jack. Danni drank two, actually--which told JD she had every intention of staying the night. In truth, he was glad of it. He would have insisted anyway, because it was far too dark to drive down the mountain, but now there was an excuse, and neither of them would even have to bring it up. He was glad of the company, and he was glad to have someone to help with Jack. JD didn't mind taking care of the child, of course--quite the opposite--but he had the feeling the next few days were going to be crucial, and he wanted to be able to stay by Perry's side as much as possible.
Afterward, Danni and Jack settled in before the television to watch The Little Mermaid (Danni's choice, which made JD chuckle. "Hey," she defended, "I'll need pointers."). JD returned to the master bedroom. Kelso had thought to add a sphygmomanometer, stethoscope, and pulse oxemetry to the list, and JD used these to check Perry's vitals, relieved to see they were all within normal limits. His heart rate was slow, but not to the point of being bradycardic, and his respirations were deep and steady. His blood pressure, JD was relieved to note, was well within the normal range--he'd read that hypertension was one of the warning signs that preceded arrest in rejection patients.
"Well," he said softly, removing the stethoscope and draping it automatically over his neck before remembering he didn't need it again, "you're doing fine so far, Perry. I wish I could risk letting you wake up—assuming you would, that is—but I don't want to take any chances."
He sighed, going quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of Ariel singing about her desire for a new world and thinking ironically it was a pretty appropriate song to be listening to at a time like this. He turned and, after a moment's hesitation, crawled into the bed next to Perry, snuggling in beside him and stroking the hair from his face, then caressing his cheek. "Things sure have gone crazy on us, haven't they?" he murmured, hoping that even though Perry wouldn't wake, he would at least be able to recognize and take comfort in JD's voice. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there to save my ass..."
It made JD shiver a little, to think back on it. Laying in that cold hotel room bed, his stomach aching with hunger, too scared to go home...He hadn't expected to get something like this out of it. To have Perry and Jack, a family...and he would have them, if only this stupid thing didn't take Perry away from him. "But you were there,” he continued. “And thanks to you, I'm all right, and so are Turk and Carla and Elliot...you've saved the lot of us. You have to get through this, if only so you can start never letting us forget it. Of course, I'm saving your ass now, but we don't have to mention that part. Unless I want you to cook dinner..."
But he couldn't keep the teasing up for long, and finally he sighed. "I wanted to feel like a doctor again, but not by taking care of you. I guess I should be flattered though, huh? It must've been thinking you were going to lose me and Jack that made you go into this. You always have had to be dramatic about things..." To his horror, JD discovered he couldn't keep the tears back now. They welled from his eyes and spilled, unconcerned by his attempts to hold them back.
"If you knew…” he whimpered, voice choked. “If you knew what you were becoming, Perry, would that stop the rejection?" He sobbed softly, turning his face into Perry's neck and wrapping arm and wing over his chest. "You're growing wings. You're not going anywhere. You hear me? That's an order, Perry."
He gave up speaking and simply cried, releasing the worry and fear and tension through the salt tears that soaked Perry's shoulder. He did not move until he heard the sounds of the ending credits on the movie downstairs, and then he pushed himself up only reluctantly.
Danni was halfway up the stairs by the time JD had scrubbed his face free of tears and walked out of the bedroom. She froze, Jack sleeping in her arms, eyes widening when she caught sight of JD's tear-streaked face. "Is he...?"
"No!" JD said quickly, resisting the urge to knock on the wood of the banister. "No...I'm just... it's been a rough day, you know?"
Danni's eyes softened again, and she nodded. "Yeah," she agreed quietly. Then, nodding toward Jack, she said, "I'm going to put him down, then I'm going to get to sleep too. I'm going to assume the bed in Ben's room is no longer being used?"
JD blushed, but nodded. "No, I'll... I'll be staying with Perry," he said, nodding back toward the master bedroom. "Get some sleep. And Danni… thank you. I can’t tell you how grateful…" he broke off, embarrassed to realize his voice was growing choked again.
But Danni simply smiled, and nodded. “You’re welcome,” she murmured. "G'night, JD." She turned away and walked into Ben's old room, drawing the door shut behind her, though JD could still hear her humming "Part of Your World" to Jack. JD drew a deep, steadying breath, then went downstairs and put a fresh scoop of coffee into the machine, clicking it on and leaning on the counter as he waited for it to brew.
He didn't expect he'd get much sleep that night anyway.
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Next Chapter
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