randomweaving: (a light in dark places)
[personal profile] randomweaving
Title: Survivor
Characters: JD/Perry, JD/Jordan, Jordan/Perry, JD/Perry/Jordan
Series Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Description: A terrible accident requires JD use all his skill to save the mentor he idolizes. But times of crisis can bring people together in unusual ways...
Author's Note: Beta by [livejournal.com profile] yutamiyu who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. And in honor of the holiday weekend, extra parts today and tomorrow!

Warnings: Eventual OT3. Het content.

After half an hour spent digging through cabinets with Jordan, they'd come up with a sizeable list of food items, JD adding things like spices and ingredients he could use to make more interesting foods than the prepackaged things they were apparently used to living on. It was about then their carry-out order arrived, and after fixing their plates, they'd returned to the bedroom to keep Perry company. JD had started to settle on the floor, but after a couple pointed looks from the other two, he'd climbed gingerly onto the end of the bed, settling down and watching the other two engage in their usual banter. He even dared join in every once in awhile, encouraged by the chuckles he drew from them when he did, and by the time they'd finished their impromptu meal, JD was feeling a good deal better about the whole situation. It was obvious they were doing their best to make him feel welcome and included (at least, in their own warped ways), and he felt a small easing in his heart. It still hurt, when Jordan would reach out and stroke Perry's fingers, or swat his shoulder lightly, or any other number of friendly, casual gestures that JD know he dare not attempt, but at least it wasn't as difficult as it'd been those first few days.

After they ate, Jordan left to shop and pick up Jack, and JD carried their dishes back to the kitchen, cleaning up and, after some searching, putting everything back where it belonged. Then, after checking that Perry was still doing all right (the older man had fallen asleep shortly after Jordan had left), he wandered into the guest room, mentally planning where he'd put things, making an internal list of everything he'd need to bring.

His computer, obviously. Clothes, books...there really wasn't much more, and the guestroom was bigger than his room at home in any case. And maybe he could bring Rowdy if he made sure Jack didn't see him...it would be nice to have something around that was so much home to him. But he'd let it go if Perry wanted him to.

Perry. God. He was in Perry's house, living here for the next few months. It was too much to really take in, and he looked longingly at the bed, wishing he dared to fall into it and just sleep for a few hours. But he didn't want to let himself relax that much until Jordan got back and they figured out some sort of call button system.

So instead he went back into the living room, making sure the door to Perry's room was open, before dropping down onto the sofa and turning the TV, volume so low he almost couldn't hear it. But he didn't want to miss anything from Perry.

He switched to Animal Planet, but switched away when Emergency Vets came on. Nothing medical, just now...cartoons it was, then. He yawned, stretching out, giggling to himself as he watched.

And didn't even notice he was falling asleep until it was too late.

But once he slept, he started to dream. He was once again in the park, the smell of blood and flesh and death all around him. But this time he was searching through the wreckage with his bare hands, pushing bits and pieces of plane and people aside with equal disregard, looking for Perry.

He called the other man's name over and over, wondering why no one else was helping, why no one else was around. But he didn't dwell on it, just kept digging and digging, feeling his fingers blister and burn, trying to find Perry, to get to him, to help him.

But when he finally saw the well loved face, the curly hair, it was too late, and Perry wasn't breathing, broken and torn, blank eyes looking up at JD in reproach.

JD started awake, staring at the TV and Spongebob happily flip burgers in the Krusty Krab. "Fuck...just a dream." He groaned, running his hands through his hair, and glanced over at the doorway to Perry's room. Wouldn't hurt to check on him...

He flipped the TV off and went in, sitting very cautiously on the bed beside Perry, eyes flicking toward the monitors that weren't there. That made him almost smile, but he forgot it in reaching out, gently pushing Perry's hair back, examining his face. The bruises had faded, the cut on his forehead healed to a red line. He looked like himself again, not the oddly peaceful and pliable version he'd been when JD had found him at the crash site. But it was pain, not wariness, that kept his face creased even in sleep and JD sighed softly, wishing he could erase it.

He stayed where he was, trying to force the images of his dreams away, and couldn't. It had been so close, and there was still so much left...He closed his eyes, not really surprised to feel tears sliding down his cheeks. He's alive, though. He's alive, you didn't fail him...

When the hand gently circled his wrist, he almost yelped. His eyes flew open, and he realized to his mortification that Perry was awake and gazing up at him with eyes too alert to have just been asleep.

He scrambled to scrub his face clean of tears with the hand that wasn't still in Perry's grip, stammering, "H-how...how long've you been...?"

"Long enough," Perry replied softly. He was silent for a long moment, just watching JD, who felt his cheeks go flaming red as he waited for the rebuke, the teasing to begin.

Instead, Perry released his wrist and held out his arms. "C'mere," he murmured.

JD bit his lip, searching Perry's face, trying to gauge if the older man was joking or not. He had so many times... "Really?" he whispered, hating the feeling of more tears pushing their way out and sliding down his cheeks, but unable to stop them.

Perry brought his uninjured hand to his chest, index finger tracing an X over his heart. "Really," he replied, extending the arm again. "Come on, kid."

JD giggled wetly and leaned close, letting out a long sigh when he felt Perry's arms come around him. He was careful, not letting too much of his weight rest against injured ribs, not pressing his face too closely against the recently healed shoulder. But he couldn't stop himself from snuggling as close as he dared, something inside of him relaxing from the tight tension it'd been held in for weeks.

He felt Perry's hand slip up to his hair and begin a gentle stroking. "You've had a rough time, haven't you?" his mentor asked gently, voice rumbling in his chest beneath JD's ear.

JD wanted to say it was nothing compared to what Perry was going through, to what Jordan was feeling, but for some reason he couldn't make his voice work. So he merely let himself nod, very slightly, suddenly absurdly grateful he hadn't spiked his hair lately. He didn't think Perry'd be touching it if he had, and the gentle caress felt so good...

Perry sighed beneath him, and his fingers stopped stroking over the top of JD's head and burrowed into his hair, beginning a gentle massage at his scalp. "This always felt nice, when you did it for me," the older doctor told him. "Thought I could try to return the favor."

"S'nice," JD managed. And it was. If he'd been less disconcerted by his dream, by the fact that he was half-lying on Dr. Cox, by the way he couldn't seem to stop leaking tears, he'd probably be making some sort of absurd purring noise.

"How long since you slept, Newbie?"

JD almost laughed. "About ten minutes. Had a bad dream..."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Letting out a long shuddering breath, JD shook his head, turning his face against Perry's neck, breathing in the reassuring scent of him. "No. S'okay, it wasn't real...Just a dream, right?"

"Doesn't mean it doesn't help to talk it out," Perry reminded him, fingers still massaging gently, splinted hand resting against JD's shoulder. "But it's up to you."

JD was quiet for a long time, just lying there, before letting out a soft sigh. "I was back at the crash site, looking for you, but this time I didn't find you in time," he said, finally, voice dull.

Perry was silent, but his fingers did not pause. After a long moment, he murmured, "Thought it might be something like that."

"I had to throw out the clothes I was wearing that night. Couldn't get the smell out of them..."

He felt Perry sigh again, and for another few minutes, neither of them spoke. Then, suddenly, JD felt Perry shift, and a moment later, he felt the soft press of his lips against the skin of his forehead. "I'm okay, John," Perry whispered. "Thanks to you."

JD squeezed his eyes shut tightly, Perry's soft words pulling up a thousand feelings he wasn't quite sure what to do with. He opened his mouth, but wasn't sure what to say; he closed it again, letting himself gradually relax, finally pulling very gently back out of Perry's embrace, wiping his eyes again. "Thank you," he said, offering Perry a smile that only trembled a little. "For...yeah. Thank you."

Perry smiled gently at him. "Why don't you get some sleep, kid?" he murmured, patting the mattress next to him.

"There's certainly enough room..." JD smiled again, kicking his shoes off and crawling up, leaving plenty of room between them. He would've protested, but he was exhausted and somehow didn't think he'd dream if Perry was right there, looking after him. That was enough to push his reticence away. "Poke me or something if I talk in my sleep?"

"Will do," Perry promised, nodding. "Get some rest, JD."

JD smiled softly, at the sound of his name from Perry’s lips and curled up tightly, wondering if he'd be able to sleep knowing he was in the same bed as Perry.

But apparently his body had no problem with the arrangement, because it pulled him down almost as soon as he closed his eyes.

* * *

"Well, isn't this cozy?" Jordan asked, pausing in the doorway and smiling at her ex-husband.

Perry smiled back, reaching out to stroke the hair from JD's brow. "Told you I could get him into our bed."

"He's still got his pants on, I'm not paying up yet," Jordan replied, smile widening. "There's someone in the living room who wants to see you, if you're feeling up to it. He promised to be extra, extra good."

Perry's eyes lit up. "Yeah, bring him in," he said eagerly--he'd barely seen his son for almost six weeks.

Jordan disappeared, coming back in a few moments later with Jack, who was already holding his arms out for his father. "Pewwy!"

Perry chuckled. "Hey, Jacky," he said, reaching up and taking Jack's hand as Jordan eased herself onto the bed.

Jack struggled, trying to free himself from his mother's grip to get to his father, but Jordan held him, keeping an arm circled about his waist. "We talked about this, Jack," Jordan reminded the child gently. "You can see Daddy but he can't hold you right now."

"Pewwy!" Jack insisted, but settled a little when Jordan bounced him.

It was about then that JD woke up, the small boy's shrill voice piercing the fog of sleep he'd wrapped himself in. In his mind, real mattress always equaled real sleep at home, and no need to wake at every small noise. But Jack's insistence was loud enough to push through that, and he blinked a time or two, looking at Perry's family surrounding him. And he suddenly felt a completely unselfish warmth spreading through him, knowing he'd helped keep this family intact, even if he'd never be a part of it.

He wondered if he should pretend to be asleep, or get up and leave. Either way, he didn't want to intrude--the reunion was not his, after all. He was hired help, not family. Oh, look, back to selfish... He sighed internally, closing his eyes again, trying to block out the soft sounds beside him. More awkward if he tried to leave and they told him he didn't have to when they might rather he did...It was hard to know quite how to act around Perry and Jordan, now. He couldn't predict when they might do something nice, and mean it.

Still, he couldn't quite shut out the sounds around him, and listening to Perry talk to his son, hearing the love and affection in his mentor's voice...JD couldn't keep his lips from twitching. Perry Cox was a lot of things, but when it came to his son, he was a complete teddy bear, and everyone knew it.

It wasn't until he heard Jack ask, "Boobie?" that he couldn't pretend to be asleep any longer.

Perry's long-time habit of calling him "Newbie" had, of course, had an effect on his son. Unfortunately, because Jack couldn't quite pronounce his N's yet, the nickname had been reduced to 'boobie,' a fact which caused Perry and Jordan no end of amusement. The first time Jack had done it, in fact, pointing at JD when JD came over to babysit, Perry had laughed so hard and so long that he and Jordan had nearly missed their dinner reservation.

But JD didn't care, finding the nickname both endearing and amusing, and glad that Jack recognized him enough to assign him a name at all.

Besides, it could've been worse. Jack could've been calling him "Johnny."

He was about to open his eyes, but paused when Perry spoke. "That's JD, Jack," the older doctor said. "Can you say 'JD'?"

JD froze, waiting. Perry had never attempted to correct his son's misconstrued version of his nickname for JD, not that JD ever knew.

There was a moment of silence before Perry said again, "Come on, Jacky boy. Say 'Jay Dee.'" He extended the letters, speaking slowly and clearly, and after a moment, Jack responded.

"Day dee?"

"Close enough, I suppose," Jordan said, sounding amused. "Be about right for us if he calls you Perry and ends up calling DJ daddy, huh?"

JD felt himself start to flush and figured it was past time that he "woke up." He stretched and turned over, hoping he wasn't too red. "Hey," he offered sleepily. "One of you say my name?"

"Boobie!" Jack squealed, reaching for him; Jordan rolled her eyes at Perry and moved to hand the squirming child to JD, both of them extremely careful as they passed him over Perry.

"Hiya, Jack," JD replied, cuddling the boy close and tickling him lightly. "I'm missed you, kiddo, but I'm gonna get to hang out a lot, now that your daddy's home."

Jack shrieked with laughter, squirming. "Ickle! Boobie ickle!"

JD obeyed, tickling him again, pausing when the child's face began to grow slightly pink from his laughter. "Okay, that's enough, kiddo," he laughed, stopping. "We can't get too excited, now."

Jack giggled, burrowing into JD's chest and wrapping his small arms around JD's neck. "Ickle," he informed JD's shoulder, bouncing just a little bit.

JD grinned, glancing up at the other two, only to find them watching with the same odd expression he'd occasionally caught them wearing, when he'd awoken at the hospital. Now, with the benefit of consciousness, it made even less sense than before, because JD rather thought he recognized it, now.

It was...affection. But more than that, it was...

No. No, it couldn't be.

Could it...?


No. It was just Jack, and seeing him happy, and Perry being home, and their kid being cute and JD's own fucking wishful thinking. It had to be. He blushed, and hugged Jack closer, bouncing him a little, looking away before they could see the hope in his eyes.

"That boy's pretty fond of you," Perry observed softly after a moment filled only with Jack's indiscernible chatter.

"I like him a lot, too," JD replied, looking up from where he'd been solemnly nodding at whatever it was Jack was trying to tell him. "He's a great kid...hope I get to have one like him, someday."

He turned back to Jack, but not before he caught the glance Jordan and Perry exchanged. Huh. Well, of course they looked pleased, hearing their son praised...

Jordan slid from the bed, taking Jack out of JD's arms. "We need to be fed, don't we?" she said to him, nodding. "I think we do. Wave bye bye to Pewwy and Boobie, kiddo. Wave bye bye!"

Jack giggled, flailing his arm in the direction of the two men on the bed before turning and hiding his face in Jordan's shoulder. Jordan winked at Perry, and gave JD a small smirk, before turning and heading out of the room. "See you boys in a bit," she called over her shoulder. "I imagine you both have a lot to talk about."

JD raised an eyebrow, and looked over at Perry. "We do? What about?"

Perry studied him for a moment. Then, softly, he said, "Jordan told me. About the two of you, the night of the crash."

JD winced. "Oh. Oh God. I'm sorry, P--Dr. Cox, I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen..."

Perry lifted his eyebrow. "Come on, Newbie," he said. "It's not like you fell into her, then out of her, then back into her again." He grinned slowly, waiting for JD to catch the reference.

"Oh God..." JD buried his head in his hands. "Of all the conversations to have twice..."

"Come on, JD," Perry said, and JD felt his hand resting on his knee. "Do I look mad?"

JD looked up, hesitantly. "Well...no, actually. But you didn't look mad last time, either. You just ignored me for weeks."

"Fair enough," Perry said. "Am I ignoring you now?"

JD shook his head. "No... All right, you're not mad." He ran a hand back through his hair, waiting, but Perry didn't say anything else. "Um. Can I ask why not? I mean...it wasn't something I planned or anything, and I guess I should be glad you're not angry, but...I'm confused, too."

Perry tilted his head. "Well," he said slowly. "I guess I'm not angry because I understand, on several levels. First of all, I understand that Jordan's a force of nature, one against which the likes of you or I have no defense. Two, I understand that the two of you were upset, and understandably so, by everything you'd gone through, and seen, that night. Three...well, three, I understand that you were worried about me." He shrugged. "Can't be mad about that, now can I?"

JD felt his lips twitch. "I don't know. You're usually pretty good at being mad about an awful lot of things..."

Perry snorted. "I could throw a few rants at you, if you wanted, but I'm pretty sure they'd suck," he said. "My form's been greatly compromised by the Percocet."

"So I've noticed," JD replied, realizing slowly and wonderingly that this was actually going to be all right. He wasn't sure how, but...it was. "You haven't called me Carol or Ginger or any girl's name in hours..." He had to suddenly hold back a giggle, imagining Perry telling him of course he didn't mind that JD had slept with Jordan, lesbians were always hot.

Perry cringed. "Look...it might be the narcotics talking. And you might think this is the strangest thing I've ever suggested, but..." he trailed off, then sighed. "I'm not going to be a basket of roses for the next few months," he said at last. "I'm going to be worse than usual, in fact, particularly once I come down off my happy narcotic-induced high, and start actually feeling all the little things going wrong in my body. It's going to be stressful, for you and for Jordan, taking care of me and of Jack. So I guess..." he made a face and looked at JD. "The bed in the guest room is a queen size," he finished softly. "And I won't take offense to the two of you sharing it."

JD nodded slowly, wondering if the conversation could get any more surreal. "All right. I...don't know if it'll come up, but I'll keep it in mind. I think...it's going to be rough on all of us, I know. I don't...don't know if Jordan would be interested, or even if I'm comfortable with it, but...okay. At the least, I'll be there for her when she needs me and if that's part of it...I...wow. This might be the strangest conversation I've ever had; including the time Carla told me to grab her boobs."

"Better get used to strange conversations, if you're going to be staying here," Perry said, looking sympathetic. "Now, if you don't mind, I could use another Percocet..."

Judging by the conversation, JD was tempted to tell Perry he had quite enough drugs in his system, but he got up and grabbed the older man a pill and the water bottle.

"Thank you," Perry said, downing the pills with a long swig of water. He settled back with a sigh, then looked up at JD, giving him a smile. "Three options," he said. "Crash in your bed, crash here with me, or go talk to Jordan. But if it's conversation you want..." he yawned, and shook his head. "I'd stick with Jordan for now."

"Mind if I take the fourth?" JD asked, unable to keep from smiling back. "I'd like to head home and grab some stuff...It'd be nice to wear something other than scrubs to sleep in."

Perry waved a hand vaguely at the closet. "C'n borrow my hockey jerseys, if you like," he said. "Jordan does often enough. But yeah...keys to the Porsche should be on the front table. Go get some stuff." He yawned. "And bring the dog if you must, but please keep it where Jack can't reach it."

JD knew he was gaping, but thankfully Perry seemed too close to sleep to notice. Wear my clothes, drive my car, sleep with my wife. Does he think he's dying?

Perry was asleep before JD could think to ask, though, and with an effort, he closed his mouth, moving into the kitchen where Jordan was talking to Jack, feeding him cut up hot dogs and cheerios. She glanced up at him, smirking at his expression. "What's up, Boobie?"

"He's really enjoying the Percocet," JD replied, shaking his head. "Remind me to tell you what he was suggesting when I get back, and the bouncy one's in bed. I'm going to go to my place and grab some clothes, my laptop...enough so I won't have to leave again for a while. He, uh, told me to take the Porsche, but I think I'll just call a cab..."

"Not on my dollar, you won't," she said, moving forward and picking up the keys, tossing them to him. "We're not paying you to throw your money away. You know how to drive, so drive."

"I'll need to bring my scooter back anyway?"


JD sighed, and slipped the keys in his pocket. "Okay. I'll be careful, I swear. And I've got you to back me up, if he wakes up and doesn't remember offering, right?"

"What makes you think he won't remember?"

"Like I said, he's a little out of it," JD replied, shaking his head. "But I was mostly making a joke." He reached over and ruffled Jack's short hair, stealing one of his Cheerios to the child's giggles, and smiled at Jordan. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You've got my pager and my cell number if you need anything before then...I'm only about five, ten minutes away, depending on traffic."

"Yeah, well," she said, waving him off. "I'll back you up, kid, as long as you bring it back in one piece. But it will be on your head if it comes back scratched." She winked at him and moved to catch the bowl of Cheerios before Jack succeeded in pushing it off the high chair's tray. "See you in a while."

JD smiled at the pure domesticity of the scene, feeling a sudden sharp stab of want. Wanting to lean over and kiss Jordan's cheek, to be a part of the family...He shook it off, smiling, and headed out of the apartment, to slide into leather seats and comfort and the wish that it was Perry driving, not him.

* * *

Next Chapter

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