randomweaving: (a light in dark places)
[personal profile] randomweaving
Title: Survivor
Characters: JD/Perry, JD/Jordan, Jordan/Perry, JD/Perry/Jordan
Series Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Description: A terrible accident requires JD use all his skill to save the mentor he idolizes. But times of crisis can bring people together in unusual ways...
Author's Note: Beta by [livejournal.com profile] yutamiyu who rocks all! Thanks again, you are totally awesome. And in honor of the holiday weekend, extra part today!

Warnings: Eventual OT3. Het content.




The first few days staying with Perry and Jordan were relatively uneventful. Perry slept most of the time, keeping himself well-dosed on Percocet, and Jordan and JD were both happy to let him. JD had chickened out of telling her exactly what the older man's suggestion had been, before, and had mostly decided Perry must've really been out of it, because Perry himself never hinted at it again. JD resigned himself instead to keeping watch over him during the day, and sleeping in the guest bedroom at night, spelling Jordan taking care of Jack, and basically spending most of his time watching movies.

All in all, not a bad gig, though he did sort of miss the hospital. Still, he knew what he missed wasn't the hospital, but the normal life he'd left behind, the night he'd first seen the fiery remains of the crash flicker across his TV; even if he went back, he knew the instant he turned to ask Dr. Cox something then remembered he wasn't there, might never be there again, the illusion would shatter, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere but here.

As for dealing with watching the family and not feeling a part of it, it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd feared. Because Perry slept most of the time, JD was spared a lot of scenes of he and Jordan cuddling, and Jack kept him busy enough. Jordan too. The only real pang suffered with any frequency was saying goodnight to Jordan, watching her walk into the master bedroom to crawl into bed with Perry, while he had to crawl into his bed alone.

And then there were the nightmares.

None as bad as that first day, and he'd gotten used to waking, recognizing his surroundings, and falling back asleep. But it still made his sleep restless, and he knew that, despite the more regular sleep schedule, he wasn't losing the dark circles under his eyes.

He almost envied Jordan her make-up.

He'd stopped spiking his hair, too, in the vague, absent hope that Perry would someday again offer his arms, and maybe massage his scalp the way he had the first day they'd been back. He knew it was silly to hope for, but he couldn't help himself; even if it had been mostly the medication talking, Perry's arms had felt better than he'd ever imagined they could, and the thought of one day being offered them when Perry wasn't in pain, when JD could wrap his own around the older man and hug him in earnest...well. It was a good thing his journal was well hidden.

He was cooking, one evening, keeping an eye on Jack, who was playing quietly with some blocks, when Jordan came out of Perry's room, looking exhausted and worn. JD had a drink fixed for her by the time she'd dropped onto the couch. "Hey. Should I ask how he's doing?"

"He's...argh," Jordan replied, snatching the scotch. "Men," she informed JD, "are insufferable. Doctors more so."

"Then on behalf of all of us, allow me to apologize," he said. "What is it this time?"

"He's about to throw up. So I had to leave the room to save his delicate sensibilities or something. God, he's more of a girl than you are!"

JD shook his head, looking at the closed door over her shoulder. "Told him it was too early to try it..." Perry'd just eaten cream of mushroom soup--insisted on it, against JD's advice.

"Yeah, well, you and me both, but does he listen?" Jordan spat. "Of course not. Heaven forbid he be vulnerable after he survives a fucking plane wreck, right? Not Perry Cox, oh no...!"

"Jordan," JD cut her off, shaking his head and nodding at Jack, who was staring at her with wide eyes. "I'll talk to him, okay?"

She scowled, but waved her hand. "Feel free," she said. "Good luck."

JD nodded, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, hiding a smile when she jerked away. He nodded at Jack, giving him a thumbs-up and a wave, then headed down the hallway to the master bedroom.

The room was dark--Perry preferred it that way, as prone to headaches as he'd grown--and it was silent, when JD pushed open the door.

"Perry?" he whispered, wondering if maybe the older man had fallen asleep.

But a moment later, that hope was erased, when a low voice, tight with pain, growled, "Go away."

"Sorry, not allowed to," JD replied, coming in and letting the door shut behind him. He flicked on the dim lamp they'd put in, crossing over to the bed.

Perry was lying mostly on his back--the leg didn't allow him to roll all the way to his side, but to prevent bedsores they'd taken to propping him with pillows under his back and rear, allowing his weight to settle from side to side now and then. Right now he was leaning to the right, a basin held very close to his mouth, arm curled over his stomach and eyes clenched shut.

"Please, oh please turn off the light," he begged, and JD obeyed, moving a little closer.

"Headache?" he murmured gently.

"Always," Perry confirmed. "Now listen, Erica, I know you're supposed to be a doctor and everything, but how about we just go ahead and let this one take its natural course? And if it's all the same, I re-he-heally don't need an audience."

JD sighed, stepping closer. "No can do, I'm afraid," he murmured. "We sort of want to keep stuff in your stomach."

"Newbie, I'm warning you--"

"Oh, give it a rest, Perry," JD said, climbing ever so carefully up onto the bed behind the older man. He could feel Perry tense, and knew his mentor was wondering what he was doing; he was halfway wondering it himself, but he knew it'd always helped when he was nauseated as a child, and the last thing they needed was for Perry to throw a suture from the strain of vomiting.

Perry was silent, though whether it was nausea, pain, or the shock of JD actually talking back to him that was keeping him from speaking up, JD didn't know. He decided he didn't particularly care, either; Perry was probably better off if he didn't try to speak right now.

JD moved forward very slowly, settling on his side behind his mentor, taking special care not to jar the bed. Then, slowly, almost giddy with his own boldness, he reached around, sliding his hand over Perry's side and onto his stomach, under Perry's own hand.

"Newbie, what--?"

"Shhh."

JD nestled in behind the older doctor, supporting him against his chest, and began to very gently rub circles on Perry's stomach, using the flat of his palm.

For several long moments, they were both still. Then, slowly, JD felt Perry beginning to relax just a little.

JD started to hum, not really paying attention to what it was, but keeping it soft, soothing. It was for distraction more than anything--something to take Perry's mind off the nausea, even as his hand helped soothe the muscles that were clenching and unclenching as Perry's stomach fought with its last meal.

Slowly, slowly, Perry relaxed further; JD could feel him beginning to slump into the pillows, and impulsively, he slid his hand under the older man's t-shirt, stroking the skin of his abdomen directly, trying not to be distracted at how solid the muscle felt beneath his fingers.

He felt Perry draw a sharp breath, but other than that, the other man didn't react to the sudden and relatively intimate contact; instead, after another moment, he sighed further, and pressed almost imperceptibly back against JD, eyes going from being clenched tight to simply being closed.

JD waited as Perry drifted off, still humming tunelessly; once he was certain the older man had well and truly fallen asleep, he bent forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the base of his neck.

But he stayed another half hour or so, rubbing Perry's stomach in gentle circles and allowing himself to indulge in a fantasy of normalcy, where it was simply another relaxing morning, and any moment Jordan would come in and wake them for breakfast.

* * *

It wasn't the last time, and more than once the absurd thought that Perry was doing this to himself on purpose to just to get his belly rubbed crossed JD's mind. But he knew it was ridiculous...Perry was in pain every time, and wouldn’t put himself in even more for something he could get if he just asked.

Except it would require asking, so who knew? Asking for help was certainly not one of Perry's more practiced skills. A fact that had Jordan fuming at least once every couple days, and usually more. JD sometimes wondered if they'd wanted him around just so someone would keep them from physically mauling each other.

But whatever his ultimate services, it was still Jordan who climbed into bed with Perry at the end of the day, and JD who ended up alone in the guest room curled around the spare pillow.

Two weeks after Perry had returned home, it was time to get him back to the hospital to remove the pins in his hand and do the reconstruction of his knee. The paramedics returned, loaded him up, and took him away; JD and Jordan followed a little later, though they were a bit more leisurely about it than they were the first time.

"Knee reconstruction is a long surgery," Turk had warned them. "Long and boring, basically. I'd definitely bring books, if you think you need to be at the hospital the whole time."

So they had. Not being there simply wasn't an option, so JD had a few research books, his laptop, and a science fiction novel tossed in his backpack, wondering if he'd be able to settle enough to read any of them. He and Jordan got settled and he smiled wryly. "Only time I envy the surgeons..."

Jordan snorted softly. "Least he can't hurt himself, or complain, or yell at anyone for a few hours now."

"I'll bet the surgical team appreciates that," JD said around a yawn, picking up one of his books, glancing up at the clock before starting to read.

And indeterminably long time later, he looked up to see it at nearly the same time.

"Has time stopped, or is it just me?"

Jordan snorted, arms folded as she sat slumped in her chair, book untouched beside her. "I don't think it's fair that he keeps making us wait," she said. "Maybe next week I'll get surgery, and see how he likes waiting around for me."

JD smiled ruefully. "It's hard," he agreed. "It's almost harder this time, somehow."

"I can't figure that one out," Jordan said softly, shaking her head. "You'd think it'd be much harder to wait to hear whether he's going to live than waiting to hear if he'll ever walk again."

JD shrugged. "Yeah, but when we were waiting to see if he'd live, we were still so grateful he was alive so that we could be waiting around to see if he'd live that it negated some of the rest of it."

She gave him a look. "I've been spending way too much time around you," she said. "Because that made sense."

"Or maybe I'm full of shit," JD added, shrugging again. "Who knows?"

"No, I know what you're saying," Jordan said softly. "I mean, last time we were waiting to find out if we were going to lose him. This time we're waiting to find out if maybe we lost him anyway."

JD nodded, trying to imagine a Perry who couldn't get around under his own power, who couldn't stride through the halls inspiring fear. Hard enough to think of him with a cane, but if the surgery didn't go well... He shied away from the thought. "It should go well...But I gotta say I like being the doctor better than the one personally invested..." He shook his head again, frowning. "You and Jack aren't allowed to get hurt, all right?"

Jordan looked over at him and smiled, then leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Promise," she murmured, squeezing his hand.

JD blushed, but squeezed her hand back, realizing just how his words must've sounded. But...well, it wasn't as if she didn't know how he felt, after all. "Um. Good."

They settled back into a companionable (if a little embarrassed, on JD's part) silence, waiting as the minutes trudged slowly toward hours. Turk had explained that due to the nature of the break in the patella, removing the pins alone could take up to an hour and a half or two hours; the joint replacement would take at least that long as well. Fortunately, this time, JD would be allowed back into the recovery room, so as soon as they closed Perry's knee back up JD would see him.

He'd expected Jordan to put up a fight about not being allowed back there herself, but she'd acquiesced with surprising ease.

"As long as one of us is with him," she said with a shrug, when she caught the surprised look JD had given her. "You'll know more about what's going on than I will, and I trust you. You'll make sure he's okay."

And of course he would, but JD was still surprised. Hired help he might be, at the moment, but both Perry and Jordan were making more and more of those sorts of statements, accepting him as a surrogate for the other. Even to Perry's insane suggestion...

JD remembered it, now, and shook his head, looking over at Jordan. It was so absurd, to think she'd even want to share a bed with him, much less...do more. It had made sense when both of them were so upset, had thought they'd lost him, but now...Now it was just insane.

He still wondered what her reaction to the suggestion would've been, though. Probably outright laughter...

He bit his lip, wondering if he should bring it up. It would be something amusing to pass the time, anyway, but...knowing him, he'd end up blushing fit to burst. And besides...he wasn't exactly in the best emotional place to listen to the woman he had a crush on laughing at the idea of sleeping with him.

He sighed, instead, grabbing the sci-fi book--Ender's Game, recommended by Sean--and flipped it open, thinking maybe he could at least get started.

* * *

Four hours (and one completed book) later, Turk appeared in the doorway of the waiting room, and called to them. "Guys? We're done."

JD pushed himself up from his chair, running a hand back through his hair, exchanging a look of anxious relief with Jordan. At least some of the waiting was over... "How'd it go?"

Turk nodded. "Well," he said simply. "I can take you back there now if you want--Dr. Stone's washing up but he said he'd meet you in recovery and tell you what to expect."

JD nodded, dropping his book back in his backpack and tossing the bag into the seat next to Jordan. "See you soon," he said to her, squeezing her shoulder lightly before following Turk out of the room. "It really went okay?"

"It really did," Turk said, glancing back at him and giving him a gentle smile. "Don't worry, buddy. As long as he sticks with therapy, he should be fine."

JD let out a soft sigh, feeling the muscles in his neck and shoulders finally beginning to unclench. A bit. Therapy was going to be a bitch...

He followed Turk into the recovery room, following him over to the curtained-off portion where Perry was now resting, still out from the anesthetic. They had him on oxygen, but he looked a thousand times better than he had the last time JD had seen him in the hospital--a fact of which JD tried to keep reminding himself.

Turk nodded to him. "I'll let you check him over. Dr. Stone will be in soon."

"Thanks, Turk," JD said, blushing slightly. He opened his mouth again, but wasn't sure what to say, so just shrugged. "I mean...thanks."

"I know, man. Go be with him."

JD crossed over to Perry as the surgeon left, reaching up to gently stroke his hair away from his face. He looked so much better than he had before, and the lines of pain that had become so much a part of his face were eased now. He seemed to be simply sleeping, but JD knew the real cause of that peace was he'd simply been given enough medication to be lifted out of the pain that had become a constant part of his life.

JD sighed, glancing around for a chair, settling down into it when he found one. Perry wouldn't wake up for another hour or so at least, and there was no sense trying to get him to; best to let him stay out of pain for as long as possible.

He'd been sitting next to the older man for about ten minutes before Dr. Stone finally walked in, giving him a nod and a handshake. "Dr. Dorian," he said. "Good to see you."

JD shook his hand in turn, smiling. "Good to see you, too, Dr. Stone. Dr. Turk told me things went well?"

"They did," Stone nodded, looking down at Perry. Or rather, looking at Perry's leg. JD bit back the urge to roll his eyes--surgeons could be so focused on the parts and just flat-out miss the whole, sometimes. "We ended up having to remove a part of the patella, but only a small fragment. The rest of it is healing up nicely. Everything went smoothly with the replacement, and he'll be free to go probably within a day or so--I understand he has home care?"

"He does," JD confirmed. "Me."

"Oh!" Stone raised his eyebrows, looking surprised, but nodded. "Well, good, then, I'll only have to give these instructions once. He's going to need to start attempting straight leg lifts after about--oh, five or six days, probably. They're going to be difficult, and painful, but we want to start restoring the quadricep muscle as soon as we can. And he'll need to be bending that knee as much as he can. I know it'll be awkward around the other cast, but for optimal recovery of his range of motion, it's crucial he start early."

JD nodded, committing the information to memory. At least Perry was used to working out...maybe that would help. JD didn't like to think if it'd been him; was inherently lazy about exercise, doing as little cardio as he could get away with, most times. But Perry was used to working hard on his body...even if it wouldn't exactly be doing what he wanted it to, now. "We'll make sure he does, then."

Stone nodded. "Good. Well, if you're his PCP, I'll just officially sign things over to you, and as soon as he wakes we can move him back to a room."

"Thanks," JD said, and in a few minutes they'd signed the release forms that turned Perry's care officially back over to JD. Stone shook his hand, gave him his pager number and instructed him to call if he had any questions, then left.

JD slipped the piece of paper with the number into his pocket, then turned and settled back down into the chair, heels propped on the mattress, and waited.

* * *

He'd nearly drifted off again when he heard Perry beginning to stir.

He sat up, blinking a little, and lowered his feet to the ground, looking up at the bed. Perry was stirring, eyelids fluttering and brows drawn together in a look of confusion.

JD got to his feet, moving forward, allowing one hand to go up to Perry's brow and stroke there softly. "Perry?"

"Mnn...nuh-huh...?"

"You're in Recovery, Perry. The surgery went fine..." JD smiled softly, still stroking his forehead, trying to imagine doing this only two months ago.

"S'good..." Perry turned his head into JD's hand, clearly struggling to open his eyes. "S'good, right...?"

"It's very good," JD assured him, changing the stroking of Perry's forehead to a soft caress of his cheek, grateful the older man probably wouldn't remember these moments. It made him bold enough to indulge in them.

"Is, um...." Perry started, then frowned, eyes opening a little wider. "Is there...?"

JD leaned closer, waiting. "Perry?" he prompted. "Is there what?"

Perry blinked at him. "I dunno..." he murmured. "Guess there's just...wanted to know, you know..." He lifted one hand and waved it vaguely before letting it drop back to the covers. "S'gonna be fine..." he mumbled, then drew a deep breath and released it on a sigh again.

JD held back a giggle. "It is. You're going to be okay. Want to get a bit more sleep?"

"S'Jordan okay...?"

JD was surprised to feel no stab of jealousy when Perry asked this, just a soft warmth, thinking of Jordan trusting him to be here. "She's fine, Perry. I'll let her know you woke up as soon as you're out again. She knows everything went really well. Said she's gonna start making you wait around for her in a few weeks, just for revenge."

"C'n wait for a while..." Perry replied, then chuckled, apparently finding his response amusing.

"She can, huh?" JD asked, giggling aloud this time. "How're you feeling? Or can you tell?"

"T'sall right," Perry informed him, eyes drifting over to rest warmly on JD. "How're you?"

"I'm fine," JD replied, grinning and stroking Perry's hair again. "Just been waiting around to make sure you were, too."

"S'nice, Newbie," Perry murmured, and when he looked up at JD again, his expression was like JD had never seen it: his smile was soft, genuine--vulnerable, even. Trusting. Adoring. His eyes were half-lidded, gleaming with affection and love.

JD swallowed hard against it, wishing he could just once see Perry look at him that way and know it was real. Because now...must've been the anesthetic. "Then I won't stop," he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady.

"No, mean...s'nice you were waiting f'r me," Perry said. "S'nice of you to've been worried 'bout me. Thanks."

"Come on, Perry, where else would I be?" JD asked, smiling slightly. "Probably would've snuck in even if I'd still been working."

Perry giggled--an actual, honest-to-god giggle--and JD's heart melted. Without pausing to think, he bent forward and pressed a soft kiss to the very corner of Perry's mouth.

Or at least that's what he'd planned to do. But Perry, either by accident or having realized JD's intentions, turned his head at the last minute, and caught the kiss full on the mouth.

JD pulled back, knowing his face had gone deeply red, internally praying Perry was even more out of it that he seemed and wouldn't remember this in a few hours, because oh holy hell, had he really just kissed him?

He had. And he was sure there were rules about that sort of thing. After all, Perry'd told him to have Jordan share his bed, not to share Perry's. "I..."

Perry giggled again (God, JD would never get tired of that sound--coming out of the large, usually stern man, it was just too damned adorable), and reached up to tug at a strand of JD's hair. "Kissed me," he announced, voice more slurred than before.

"Yeah, guess I did," JD replied, taking Perry's hand and settling it down on the bed again, lacing his fingers with the other man's. What the hell, go with it, Perry seemed pretty close to passing out again. "You helped, though."

"Have ta help more often..." Perry yawned, eyes fluttering and slipping closed again. "N'bie?"

Am I having a daydream? I must be... "Yes, Perry?"

"Stay with us, okay?" he mumbled, then his breathing went deep and even as he drifted off to sleep.

"Where else would I be?" JD murmured again, still softly stroking Perry's hair.

But Perry was already gone.

* * *

Next Chapter

* * *

1st comment?

Date: 6 Jul 2008 22:27 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myviciousvixen.livejournal.com
Am I really the first one to comment? This is just too sweet, really. I smiled through the whole last scene.

Date: 6 Jul 2008 23:09 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allherglory.livejournal.com
I have been grinning so hard through these past three chapters!

*cuddle*

Date: 7 Jul 2008 00:02 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] severedscythe.livejournal.com
BAHA oh my god a high perry is hilarious. Just. Gah. <3 I adore the writing that comes from the both of you.

Date: 7 Jul 2008 00:36 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonvoice.livejournal.com
D'awwwwww,
so many things about this chapter earn d'awwww moments.
Except, of course, poor JD sleeping on his own at the end of each night. :/

Date: 7 Jul 2008 06:39 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sosaith.livejournal.com
Yes, Perry, you do have to help more. I love how JD thinks that he's taking shameless advantage and Perry is just as giddy (drugs and all) that JD's finally making a move. It's so schmoopy but not saccharin.

Date: 7 Jul 2008 07:17 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yutamiyu.livejournal.com
Good to see that you're posting this again! I've actually been saving betaed chapters on my laptop, just in case. :)

Eee. I already know what happens, but I'm still excited. :D

Date: 7 Jul 2008 10:14 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamtheuberlorax.livejournal.com
Wow. This story rocks. Lol, Perry high on pain medications is hilarious to no end. Can't wait for the next chapter. :D

P.S *inner JD* SCORE! ;3

Date: 7 Jul 2008 19:03 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hopeless-childe.livejournal.com
these frequent updates are awesome! i love this fic.

Date: 8 Jul 2008 20:50 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] once-too-many.livejournal.com
I love this story... and the frequent updates are nothing short of aweome... Thank you for writing it!
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